I feel lost i don't know what to do

I am just going to sum this up. Now i am 21 year old male.

FAMILY

I have been raised very religious and conservative. I went to religious schools and a high school without females. I am irreligious now and they like to insult these kind of people, so they dont know i am also one of them, they tend to mess with those people and say stupid things about them without knowing i am also that way. They always pushed me to pray and be their kind but now i am a bit more free since i am older.

So i never had an emotional connection with my family. I never felt i loved them or they loved me. I just think they love me because religion says so.

RELATIONSHIPS

For 3 years between 17-20 i had a toxic one. We made mistakes she cheated on me i treated her really bad etc. Now i am over it i feel okay about it but maybe some scars still remain inside.

At this year i had a new gf, first thought she is a good one but now i think i dont wanna have a future with her because she is way too passive, always wants me to treat her like a queen, text her all the time and her family sounds very stupid although she is beautiful cons are too much. I think i am going to break up with her soon.

FRIENDS

Never been lucky with them. Just cannot agree with conservative people. Especially i have hard time connecting with girls, most of them seem very stupid to me ( i must say i study medicine and i only feel that way with med girls, not with others) . I have a few cool male friends, but i lack friends to hang out with usually. Also i must admit i am annoying sometimes i feel that. There are bad treats of myself blocking me to have more friends that i have unfortunately.

OTHER LIFE

I am a med student in Istanbul. I really hate my university although i love medicine. I hate Istanbul and the culture to be honest. Nobody is ever relaxed and way too conservative people they make me nervous.(my grandmas are from balkans, very chill people i am kind of that type) Also now i understood i just want some casual sex, i need to give a break to relationships. However casual sex is pretty hard to have in here so i guess i will stay incel more. I had experiences with my partners only. Never had one night stand or these kind of thing. I actually want it so badly. I think relationship at 17-20 years gave me this hunger for sex i think.

So the actual thing is now i do not know what to do. Moving abroad has always been my dream. I do not live the life i want and cannot do it unless i move away. I am not into turkish girls anymore too i feel that way. So basically i do not like my family, my university and where i live. I am so confused and lost in that point of my life. I cannot enjoy my life. I just hope family part will not bother me anymore if i move out. 3 years to complete med school, i need to shape my life but it seems impossible under this circumstances. I simply do not enjoy my life, i dont know how can i change it when i dont even have a desire to live with this family or in this country. I feel like all my problems are related to lack of a good relationship and sex somehow, i dont know if it is true.

If you made this far thanks for reading. Maybe that is not a problem that you cannot give an advice, it is all about me but please feel free to type any kind of advice. Thank you.

The vast majority of people across Turkey and in Istanbul, are Muslim, so you're not going to have much luck with casual sex.

I am a med student in Istanbul. i just want some casual sex. Never had one night stand or these kind of thing. I actually want it so badly.

Yes i am also half turkish myself and my family is muslim too. Things are a little bit different though, you can still manage to have some casual sex but it is hardmode as you say. That really affects my life somehow, i have never thought that would really cause that much trouble.

Well, I don't think that just having casual sex is going to make your problems go away. I think you're lonely and you need some friends. You need to try to make friends at school. Is there a place where the students hang out? And even if the girls are stupid, why not just go out on a social date just to have fun as a diversion. That's the only advice I can give you. You've got to make the rest happen yourself.

You are so very negative about pretty much all the people you mention, the uni you go to, the place you live. I dont know why you are the way you are, but maybe some counselling would help you get it all out and you can then live a healthier life. What you are doing isnt working so you need to make some changes.

Also please stop calling all girls stupid, they arent. That's very defaming and derogatory. Just because they arent like you or maybe dont like you doesnt make them stupid.

Well, I think what you are feeling is rather common when people grow up in a highly conservative environment only to realize that they don't believe and therefore don't fit in. There is definitely a sense of isolation that's going to be there and something you need to figure out how to reconcile.

Regarding your family, parents don't love you because of religion, they love you because they are your parents and you their child. That's it. That simple. As for how they talk, I mean it sounds pretty hypocritical, but these kinds of talks really often come from a place of insecurity and trying to create a sense of belonging, an us v. them, kind of a thing. Perhaps if you can look at your parents as just people, human, flawed, with their own fears and insecurities trying to survive in this world, you can extend to them some kindness and understanding, rather than resentment. Of course, once you are an adult, moving further away from your family if you feel they are toxic to you is always a good idea no matter what. Brings peace all around as you no longer have to listen to them carry on too often and when you do, you can suck it up for the holidays, exercise some kindness and then get back to your normal life.

Regarding relationships...I mean what you are experiencing is kind of normal. Relationships don't last at your age. You date, you realize it's not going to work out, you move on a little older and a little wiser.

Regarding friendships....work on your attitude and arrogance and your own insecurities. Most people are smarter than you think or clever in different ways. Open your mind and sort out why you are annoying and get a grip on that. Before you can have great friends, you have to become the friend you want to have yourself. Like attracts like. If you walk around thinking everyone is just sooo stupid, smart people will avoid you like the plague. Kind of ironic how that works. Smart people can see and have the intelligence to avoid people with bad attitudes.

Finally, moving abroad is quite frankly easy when you are a doctor. The world is yours in the most literal sense of the word. Sure, you'll need to do some additional local training, but you will always be welcome pretty much everywhere. In other words, if you want to leave your culture/country behind and see where you fit in better, you certainly have options and plenty of them.

@melancholy123

Yes you are right i usually call this for students in high paid universities, and not just girls. I have scholarship so i am in an environment where people are wealthy i forgot to mention. And i must say my parents are doctors too so we are surely above average but these people are so much wealthy. That is the reason i dont get well with spoiled wealthy omes, i never call girls stupid. I am sorry i should rather say very rich ones in my university( i dont know how to say it in english, only word i can find is spoiled). And the thing you mentioned not liking much is because i am different like u said my expectations are different. Also seeing other countries plays a big part, most people think our culture is fine but when you travel you see that it ia not true. I basically do not like Turk culture and Islamic influence, i do not just have problems with people but rather they have those chaacteristic features. Thank you for advice. Again sorry for not explaining properly, i am not misogynist. I just do not enjoy spending time with these kind of people, and you see them around in this kind of university.

@DancingFool

Thanks for advice. I will definitely try friends part and i had counselling about it in the past and changed it a bit. Looks like i need to work on it a little more. However what i call stupid is i think Islamic way of thinking in the end, not the other treats of people. But lets not make excuses and work on them for now. Thanks!

Moving abroad has always been my dream. I do not live the life i want and cannot do it unless i move away.

Are you able to get into a program that would make this possible?

Are you able to get into a program that would make this possible?

Not really, it is very hard to swap med school because each follow a different plan. Even in same country you usually lose at least 1 year. Since i cannot speak any other than Turkish and English also my options are limited.

Not really, it is very hard to swap med school because each follow a different plan. Even in same country you usually lose at least 1 year. Since i cannot speak any other than Turkish and English also my options are limited.

I wouldn't try to switch as a student. Graduate and become a doctor first in whatever specialty you are pursuing. Then the medical visas will open up for you and moving elsewhere will be easier.

I wouldn't try to switch as a student. Graduate and become a doctor first in whatever specialty you are pursuing. Then the medical visas will open up for you and moving elsewhere will be easier.

Yes i think so. Usually a qualification exam and B2 language are enough.

Where do you plan to do your residency? Do you plan to practice where you are from or somewhere else? You may have to deal with the conservative mores while you are there, but after that perhaps you can obtain a residency in a less conservative country, considering you are quite proficient in English. Have you considered applying for residencies in India, the US, Canada, the UK, Australia, etc?

Since i cannot speak any other than Turkish and English also my options are limited.

Where do you plan to do your residency? Do you plan to practice where you are from or somewhere else? You may have to deal with the conservative mores while you are there, but after that perhaps you can obtain a residency in a less conservative country, considering you are quite proficient in English. Have you considered applying for residencies in India, the US, Canada, the UK, Australia, etc?

Yes i will apply to UK and Australia for sure. US and Canada are a little bit more expensive and hard. I also have Germany and Croatia in my mind. My grandma's mum is from south Croatia(or maybe in Bosnia in current borders). But i do not have citizenship unfortunately but i have a deep love for Balkans. I will probably try to complete my residency in UK or Germany and then try to move to Croatia.