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Thread: My sister has cut me out of her life and itís heartbreaking

  1. #1
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    My sister has cut me out of her life and itís heartbreaking

    Hello,

    I am very sad that my sister has decided to cut me out of her life. It happened after I sent her a message from my older sister who she is not talking to.i told my older sister I do not want to get involved and she started crying and said ĎI donít care about her and you will just side with that sisterí. My older sister has tried to message her regarding her issue but the other sister just doesnít respond.

    Also she brought up this issue of childhood abuse that she brought up and I said I didnít want to rehash the past and she hit the roof. Iíve tried many years being there and fighting her corner and telling her I know itís wasnít right. I donít know what else to do as itís not always easy discussing such a topic. She said just because you want a easy life and donít want discomfort then you donít want me talking about it. Sheís cut me out and my sister and my mum. Iím heartbroken I tried saying sorry and I didnít mean it but she hasnít responded to my texts. Iím sad because once she makes up her mind about something itís very difficult for her to let someone back in. Should I accept she wants nothing more to do with me and leave her alone? Itís heartbreaking as I do love her a lot.

  2. #2
    Give her time. You've tried to apologize and reach out to her. That's all you can do for now. Don't worry too much about it, but always let her know that you love her and are here for her no matter what. Continue to message her every now and then just so she knows she's on your mind and that you care for her. Eventually she will respond and some things may get resolved.

    It's easier for someone to cut off people when those people give up on trying to communicate. That's your sister. Never give up on family.

  3. #3
    Forum Supporter ~Seraphim ~'s Avatar
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    I would not get involved between sisters. I know it is hard when we love family. But donít deny your sister her chance to grieve. She canít grieve or tell her story on yours or your older sisterís time schedule . That is entirely up to her . People heal in their own time and in their own way .

  4. #4
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    Has she sought counseling for the abuse?

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  6. #5
    Platinum Member melancholy123's Avatar
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    Let it go for now, hopefully given time she will communicate with you.

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    It's very likely that she was raised differently than you were, even though you have the same parents. There are many cases with a scapegoat child/golden child situation, and she may have been raised as scapegoat, while you were raised as golden, so the abuse she sustained was very real to her, whereas it simply wasn't for you.

    So she is upset about something you can't see.

    Yes, this is between her and your other sister, but you are all part of the same family. If she's cut out your mother, then that's who she feels abused her. You may have suffered as well, but she may have either suffered more or simply felt it deeper.

    We can't know any of this. All we can know is that her hurt is very real, and all she wants from you is your support, your friendship, your ear. She is telling you, very loud and clear, what she wants from you: to listen to her. To hear her. To validate her. To be empathetic towards her, think about things from her point of view. Either do this, or she will simply no longer be in your life.

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    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Don't let anyone guilt trip and manipulate you when they are having a pity party and want to drag you in and then attack.

    Let each sibling have whatever relationship/communication they want or do not want and don't get involved. All of you need to develop boundaries.

    This is a blessing. You will feel better having a break from all this drama.
    Originally Posted by sesameseeds
    cut me out of her life. It happened after I sent her a message from my older sister who she is not talking to. My older sister has tried to message her regarding her issue but the other sister just doesnít respond.

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    Thank you for taking the time to reply. I have messaged her saying I hope she is well and that I would send her books that she needed. I hope so because I do love her very much despise what she may think or how I communicated. Itís very hard because the abuse took place between two of the sisters and I feel like I have to take sides.

  10. #9
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    She has for the past 6 years and is continuing to do so. She has had complex PTSD and all sorts of issues-nightmares etc etc from
    It. She has had a psychologist for past 5 years.

  11. #10
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    I told the older sister that I didnít want to get involved and she began crying and saying Ďyou just care about her donít you?í And Ďsheís hurting me and you donít even care!í She cries at so many things. Sheís 35 and the other sister is 29.

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