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Thread: "Perfect guy" but I don't love him

  1. #11
    Platinum Member SherrySher's Avatar
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    Apologies, frustrated.

  2. #12
    Platinum Member Annia's Avatar
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    The sex thing is enough to show he's not caring.

    I once met this guy who seemed perfect both physically and in personality and all perfect in paper. When we got intimate it was very bad and he just said that he didn't like wasting time on forplay and stuff and that he liked going straight to business. I realised we were not compatible and had to break it off.

    In your case not only you're not sexually compatible and him saying he doesn't have the time to try to make things more pleasant for you? Huge red flag because it can also translate to other areas of your relationship.

  3. #13
    Platinum Member Lambert's Avatar
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    no "time"? deal breaker for sure. I'm not even sure what that means hahaha....

    move on... these types of feelings just get worse with time.

  4. #14
    Platinum Member DancingFool's Avatar
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    It's funny how you start out saying that he is so perfect and caring and has such love for you and then proceed to describe behavior that is the polar opposite of that, a complete in your face don't give a f/k about you or how you feel or what you want at all situation.

    Stop telling yourself he is all that and face reality - he is not. In fact his callousness toward you in the bedroom is a red flag big enough to cover this planet. You don't force yourself to stay with someone like that, you run for the hills.

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  6. #15
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    How long have you been dating? He doesn't sound "perfect" if there is zero chemistry and you don't like his personality or sex with him.

    This is what dating is for, to see how things evolve and this is simply not working. Tell him it's not working and move on.
    Originally Posted by justcuriousy
    We have been dating for a while.
    -I don't get butterflies or excited to see him.
    -he can be really immature and argumentative.
    -the sex is really bad, I have offered to show him what I like but he isn't really willing to listen and says he doesn't have "time" to put in for us to improve things.

  7. #16
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    Originally Posted by justcuriousy
    I've met a really wonderful guy, he's caring, intelligent, successful and seems to be very serious about me. We have been dating for a while but I don't get butterflies or excited to see him. I feel guilty because he is wonderful and I don't know why I'm like this. I am disappointed because he is the perfect guy but I can't fake the feelings that he has for me.

    There are a few issues that I have with him, firstly he can be really immature and argumentative. I have spoken to him about this and he just laughs it off.
    Secondly the sex is really bad, I have offered to show him what I like but he isn't really willing to listen and says he doesn't have "time" to put in for us to improve things.

    I don't know if I'm ever going to love him and I feel terrible about it. Has anyone been in a similar situation where they like someone but it just isn't working out the way you had hoped?
    It just comes down to you two being incompatible.

    To be honest OP, it's no wonder you're not falling for this guy. I mean, we all have our downfalls and quirks, but the fact that he acts immaturely and is argumentative, and doesn't seem to care about your sexual needs is I'm sure affecting your feelings towards him and preventing you from developing a deeper connection. You've tried to discuss these issues with him and for whatever reason, it sounds like he's just brushing them under the rug.

    It's super attractive when a man listens, shows that he cares and takes one's feelings into consideration. Effort matters! This guy has listened, but doesn't care enough to alter his behaviour.

    The best case scenario for you would be to walk away. Can you really see yourself in a long-term relationship with someone like this? Imagine spending the rest of your days in a relationship where your physical needs aren't being met and dealing with someone who's argumentative and immature. Man, I'd rather be alone than commit to someone like that.

    And whatever you do, don't stay with someone because they seem decent enough, or because they're the only person around who you kinda have an interest in and offers SOME good qualities. There's better out there for you.

    You're settling, OP; hence your unhappiness in the relationship.
    Last edited by milly007; 10-02-2018 at 10:58 AM.

  8. #17
    Platinum Member catfeeder's Avatar
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    Most people are not our match. That's not cynical, it's just natural odds. You get to decide how much of your time you want to waste trying to force two puzzle pieces that don't fit.

  9. #18
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    Ya you either got it or you don't. ;)

  10. #19
    Gold Member Gary Snyder's Avatar
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    It happens to millions of people every year. It sounds like you are on the fence about him (and he has some issues). When you are on the fence about someone, it really means you are in the freinds' zone - and probably always will be.

    It's okay, you only need to find one good one. Dust yourself off and get back out there.

  11. #20
    Platinum Member Cherylyn's Avatar
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    He's selfish when it comes to intimacy and even more red flags are "he can be really immature and argumentative." Then when you try to have a discussion about this, he just laughs it off and never takes you seriously. Never ever be with anyone who lacks emotional intelligence or EQ otherwise they'll make your life miserable for the long term. You can't deal nor interact with immature, argumentative types. Should you try reasoning with him, you'll end up banging your head against the wall out of pure frustration each and every time. Immature, confrontational (argumentative) types never grow up. They act like 2 year olds well into adulthood. It's a lose lose situation with this type of personality and character.

    Run for the hills! Both of you are mismatched. Always remember no is "perfect," however, some people are more compatible than others. Since this guy doesn't meet your expectations then don't be with him anymore. He's not for you.

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