How do I know if it is over?

I have been with my boyfriend for 2 years and we are 18 years old. Our relationship has been strong and we have never had any huge problems besides the occasional fight over him talking to an ex and things of that sort. Lately things have not been great though. I love him with all of my heart and I want to make a life with him but I am not always sure that he feels the same. He won't talk much about the future and while he has stated explicitly that he wants to marry me someday, any talk of it is written off and he won't even make short term (next year or two) plans about moving in together or getting a promise ring, ect. He just jokes it off and says we don't have to worry about it yet. This is not the biggest problem for me though. My biggest concern is the lack of communication and affection we have lately. We rarely have heart-to-hearts and even small-talk is limited. We are just going through the motions and we only talk about the topic at hand. Never "how was your day" or "what did you do while I was at work" or anything like that. I hate it but every time I try to talk to him about his day or mine it ends up lasting a minute or two before he goes off to do something else. As for the lack of affection, we still have sex probably twice a week, but it used to be every day. He never initiates sex but when I do he is interested probably half of the time. I will make an effort to do my makeup, shave everything, and wear something sexy and he will not even notice and deny my multiple advances. This leaves me feeling so insecure because I do not understand why he doesn't want to have sex with me unless I literally grab his penis. Even our everyday affection is lacking. He is not interested in cuddling me unless we are going to bed, and even then it is for 5 minutes before we fall asleep. I have expressed to him so many times that I need more affection but it never changes anything and he might make an effort for a day or two before it goes back to how it was. I just don't know what to do because I am so close to just leaving even though I don't want to. I don't know how to get it across to him that I cannot keep going on the way that we are.

if there is no communication and affection, move on, it will save you some drama and unnecessary heartache. and it doesn't seem like he is making the effort either.

I wish it was that easy. I don't feel ready to give up but I am just not sure how much longer I can do it if we don't make a big change.

I think your biggest problem is you are both 18. You are looking for something more permanent, long lasting, a lifetime with this guy. He is 18, teenage boys are so immature. Their brains are not fully developed until they are 25 so he's got 7 yrs to go. He's still finding himself and will be for a few years or more to come. Girls mature faster so you are thinking to the future.

You are too young to be wanting a promise ring, some sort of commitment long term, he's not ready for it. Moving on from him is likely where you are headed as he isnt ready to give you what you want.

The odds of him being The One at this point in your lives is pretty much slim to nil.

If you're having these issues at 18, you're in for a tiresome, stale marriage when you reach middle age.

My advice, coming from someone who met my ex at 15, engaged at 19, a parent at 22 and was divorced at 40, is enjoy your youth..... travel, experience life, spend time with your friends, go on dates with as many people as you can and don't get tied down at least until you're 25. You have plenty of time to find the person you will spend the rest of your life, in the future..... Have as much fun as you can now, before you deal with the day to day stresses of kids, a husband and a mortgage.

Trust me, the person you are compatible with at 18, is rarely the person you would be with in your mid to late 20's. My biggest regret is getting attached too young to the wrong person.

Now I'm 42, I'm trying my hardest to enjoy the experiences I missed in my 20's. I've been on 50+ dates and in several short term relationships during the past 3 years and only now have found someone I'd consider marrying. If I was only 18 again I would do things complete different. I definitely wouldn't be in a relationship that has and as many red flags as I was in at your age.

He's too young for the type of relationship you'd like, OP. Trying to talk about moving in or a promise ring is futile, because he isn't yet ready for any of that. (and most teens aren't) For what it's worth, promise rings are completely overrated anyway. I have received two in my lifetime, when I was much younger, and I am not with either of those guys today. We were all too young and inexperienced to be making any promise like that. I know it's a nice gesture, and young folk get excited because they believe it to be some sort of pseudo-engagement, but they are largely just decoration without any real intent to be together forever. That is especially true when the boy is as young as he is. He actually seems to know that, which is why he isn't getting you one.

And yes, I think this is probably over. He's lost interest, for whatever reason, and doesn't appear to care about putting things back together. You can keep jumping through hoops to make him notice you, or you can do the mature thing and have a talk about whether he still wants this relationship. I know you don't want to give up, but he largely already has.

The relationship is over. Time to move on. At age 18, you're probably going to have a few more boyfriends until you meet the right guy. Just look at this relationship as a learning experience.

18 y/o guys do not want to "talk about the future" incessantly. There is way too much ahead in terms of school, college, getting a job, his own place, financial independence etc. Stop pushing this hard with this agenda.

Talk about other things and don't act insecure and try to force it this much. Talk about your interests, dreams, goals etc. other than nailing him down with moving in, etc..

Focus on school your career, moving out of your parents home into your own apt, paying for your own bills, car phone, etc. your own future. You need a life and goals outside of him. If you keep laser focusing on this it will come off as clingy and smothering and break things up.

He won't talk much about the future and while he has stated explicitly that he wants to marry me someday, any talk of it is written off and he won't even make short term (next year or two) plans about moving in together or getting a promise ring, ect.

I tend to believe that people will often behave badly in the hopes that their partner will grow tired of it and leave.

Cowards don't like to come right out and say it and in turn will set you up to the hard thing.

This very young man has checked out.

I think he's waiting for you to notice and become starved from the lack of attention and leave.