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Thread: Help understand odd behaivor / personality actions

  1. #1
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    Help understand odd behaivor / personality actions

    When I met my girl and we were together she was quite fashionable, hardly makup, but care to hair, and what she wore out in public. From pics and such it seemd she started to dress up more after she was 28-34(until our break). Together she really enjoyed being very girlie, without my encouragement. Nails, bags, nice tops, shoes etc.
    Before this, in younger days, traveling etc she wore comfortable but quite baggy and unattractive things. Since our break, I saw photos of her, on holiday in nice weather, and a recent FB profile update. Now she is back to sloppy style (but every pic has the a nice white jacket I bought her its like 4yr old) and even pics of her on holiday with a new guy... quite sloppy again, and but he is no real catch. To be sure the FB profile update (I unfriended her) is so very very out of character on what she considers a fairly public page to casual friends and work associates.
    ....not one day did i ever see her go in public that baggy, sloppy, esp not on our holidays.

    The other odd thing, she always encourage me to do good, do more in my work, put effort to achieve. She broke up with me 2 times after I gave big presentations in my field that lifted my status in my career area (after 2yr, breakup 9mo, back 1.5yr, now break) . An 8pg magazine bio article, she never read and this last break came just after my biggest talk was published on YouTube, she never watched it.. She is a HR manager regionally for a multibillion dollar company.
    In her encouragement do you think she actually resented my success somehow?

  2. #2
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    I don't think she resents your success, but I do think you spend too much energy looking for clues in what she wears and applying meaning to it.

    She's probably happy and comfortable in her relationship and doesn't care about dressing up on holidays with him. Maybe she's just settled into herself and wears what she's comfortable in. Heck, maybe she had a period or wasn't feeling well the day the photo was taken and didn't want to gussy up. The point is that you are reading far too much into it. I don't see any odd behaviour here from her.

    But I am confused about the timeline. How long have you been broken up?

  3. #3
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    This was a LDR, she left 2 YEARS ago and has a new bf. You need to stop obsessing over her and move on. Focus on new local women your own age.

  4. #4
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    she left 6mo ago, pics were from 2mo after last breakup.
    We had spent 4weeks together (home and holiday) over a period of 7 weeks not long before the split (and the presentation right after that time together)

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  6. #5
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    Sounds like she dressed that way because she felt it was how she should present to you. Resentful of your success? Doubtful. Now, she's probably back to how she's feels comfortable, with a man who doesn't expect her to be fashionable, because he likes her for her personality, not appearances. Which is why people should not change for anyone else. You accept someone for how they are. Not what you want them to be.

    You're getting pleasure out of this, while she's probably just very comfortable and content in her life. So you shouldn't be happy about it lol. Seems she's happier.

  7. #6
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    thank you, esp the ladies here for the input. I wish she is happy, I am trying to put this all at peace. She dressed the way I know her about 1yr before we met. And I am sure you are right that she feels comfortable now, and also proably did with me (this was never even spoken beween us, always told her she looked great no matter, i never did push fashion or tell her to look good... as I said, she was always very girlish. And to put such a photo as her FB profile pic... it is out of character.

    Her leaving both times on eves of huge successes for me, hardly a congratulation... I thought it might have to do with her own self-esteem, destroyed in her childhood... and the way it manifest itself. That she struggles hard to succeed in her professional career, but without upward mobility.
    Last edited by MrWood; 09-30-2018 at 10:23 AM.

  8. #7
    Platinum Member Andrina's Avatar
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    Every time you post here about that ex, it's keeping her in your mind and heart. You're keeping her alive, in your present every day activities, to your own detriment. You should have been at the point by now that she wasn't on your mind every day. Cut all contact. Delete all photos and social media contacts. Put a rubber band around your wrist and snap it every time she enters your mind. Get involved in a new hobby. You've said she's selfish and uses her new man for money, and yet you keep pining for someone like that? Read some articles on obsession and maybe you can gain some skills to get out of this sick loop you've created for yourself.

  9. #8
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    You need to stop stalking her on social media, and move on with your life.

    Get some therapy. This obsession is too much.

  10. #9
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    I hope you decided not to send the card or text.

    How is ruminating over what she's wearing in a photo beneficial to you?


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