My girl changed so suddenly.

Even though we live in different countries (I study in UK, she works in Greece) and her being depressed, we had a fine relationship and we made each other very happy.

Ever since she got separated from three of her friends, she changed so suddenly... From the very next day of her friends' departure she became cold and distant to me, she stopped being sweet to me, she stopped saying that she loves me, she won't even keep any conversation going! This is happening for like three weeks now. I asked two times if she got bored of me, she said that's not true and that she still wants me, the third time I asked her again the same question with more clarification, she told me that ever since her friends left she started feeling 'empty', a feeling that's neither sadness nor happiness but she can't describe what exactly it is, she said that she has no more 'emotional reserves' and other vague things about her emotional state. She asked me to give her time to decide if she still loves me or not, because right now she is not okay.

I became heartbroken, I thought that was the end of our relationship, for two days I talked to noone, I was locked all the time in my bedroom, crying and all that stuff, the third day I started to feel better, I talked to her and she consoled me, she told me that I'm overthinking everything and that's why I suffer and that we shall 'wait to she what will happen'.

I can't understand, how can her strong feelings for me fade away in just a day? What is this 'feeling of emptiness' that she talks about? She told me to stop being sad because she becomes sad too, but how can she feel sad when previously she told me that she feels 'empty', i.e. neither sad nor happy?

We don't talk much now, she is too cold with me, we'll not even speak for days if I don't send her a message, she is not even talking to me when she feels sad, something that she always did because I always made her feel better, yet still she tells me to "wait and see how it will turn out". I can't understand what's happening, can she change back to what she was as suddenly? I don't know... I am almost sure that she is not in love with me anymore but why she keeps me and tells me to wait? Her coldness is so heartbreaking...

It doesnt sound like she cares for you as much as she did, or at all. Maybe leave her alone for a while to hopefully sort herself out. Her reaction to a friend leaving doesnt make much sense to me.

You know, texting is not the medium to use to be having these kinds of discussions. She was gone one day and you started accusing her of not caring about you anymore. You're making this move all about you, and I too would be re-evaluating a relationship if my partner was accusing me of not caring within a day of leaving. On top of this, you said she was sad she moved away from her friends and was busy starting a new job in Greece.

You need to concentrate on other things while your girlfriend is away. Hang out with your other friends and let your girlfriend get her bearings. She does not need you pressuring her while everything else is going on in her life. Be supportive and send her positive messages, not accusations.

The best thing to do in a long-distance relationship is to just tell your girlfriend about what you're doing and what's happening at home. Stop trying to carry on conversations with her or counting how many times she says she loves you. Be positive and let her get settled.. Don't lay a guilt trip on her and let her write what she will write. When she comes home to visit, that's when you can talk about feelings

I think we need more details for context:

How long have you been together, and how long will she be in Greece? Or you in the UK?

Have you had any previous similar issues in the past? When was the last time you saw each other?

For whatever reason, it's clear she is having doubts about the relationship. It's hard to say why without knowing more about your history together.

Dude, she's grieving. It's obvious this has effected her deeply. It's not uncommon for them to push everyone out of their life. You have to stop pushing her and let her work through this on her own...she needs space. I can't really offer any other explanation.

I second the request for more information. And also: how much of this relationship exists over screen, and how much exists in the third dimension.

I'm sorry you're going through this—those sudden pivots are hard. Wrestling a version of one myself at the moment, so: hugs.

One thing that jumps at me is "her being depressed," as if this is a constant state. If that's the case, what is she doing to treat and manage it? Because the thing about depression, even low-grade, is that people sometimes "treat" it through relationships at the pursuit of love. That's not sustainable, of course, as the potency of the love drug fades and changes shape over time, and when it does you're still stuck being you. Something to chew on.

But as smackie9 put it: respect that she is grieving, and that as she does you won't get the shine you're used to. That's where you tap into your own "emotional reserves" so you're not reliant on her to be the only source of replenishment.

Grieving what? friends? Come on...

Anyway, it seems it's better to leave her alone. If the situation doesn't change, be prepared to break up.

The six million dollar question, have you met this woman, spent time together, in person?

I won't judge you if you haven't, but I can't properly respond until you answer this question.

Also, I agree with dias. Grieving because she became separated from friends to the point she shut her boyfriend out seems like a stretch.

I realize everyone is different, but I lost both my parents within months of each other, and I didn't shut my boyfriend out. Of course he was local, not long distance.

Grieving because she became separated from friends to the point she shut her boyfriend out seems like a stretch.

Agreed.

She's bummed they're gone, sure, but grieving to the point that she is questioning her love for her boyfriend? I highly doubt that.

My partner suffers from severe depression and so do my friends. It's nothing to do with you. Individuals with depression have something called anhedonia which means a lack of ability to feel pleasure in things which were once enjoyable. They struggle to feel emotions when they are like this apart from numbness and emptiness and push the people closest to them away by going in on themselves and isolating themselves. You have to accept that this is nothing to do with you, I undertsand it feels like they are bored of you and are not interested in you but you have to understand they don't want to speak to ANYONE and probably are engaging in some kind of destructive behaviour to feel pleasure. They will push you away. They will seem distant. But you have to not pressure them by asking what is wrong continuously (this took me months to figure out btw) and if you love them let them know you're always there for them even if they need they're own space sometimes. Reinforce the fact that you understand they're going through a lot and when they want to talk you will be there and they can tell you anything. The more you probe them and ask what is wrong the more they will push you out. I know this because my partner did it to me and I thought he was being distant and potentially going to leave me then after a few months he admitted he felt seriously depressed. Stick by them. Don't leave them. and if they do push you away you know you did everythin g you could to help them. I hope this helps. Try googling depression and isolation