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Thread: Should I tell my bf

  1. #1

    Join Date
    Sep 2018
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    Should I tell my bf

    So basically my relationship with my ex wasn't a good relationship and although he never hit me he was very verbally abusive and had a tendency to get in my face and raise his fist as if to hit me, I was with him for 5 years,
    2months before the end he gave me some of his strong pain killers to help with my back, these do help you sleep but there not tranqulizers and I woke up to find he had put his penis inside me, I couldn't believe what he was doing and im ashamed to say I did nothing I just layed there pretending to be asleep, i couldn't move,
    he cleaned me with a wet wipe after so I wouldn't know what he had done, was that rape? This continued for 2months he got braver after the first time and didn't bother with the painkillers I was afraid to bring it up,
    and I really didn't want to admit I felt like I was being raped when I did nothing to stop it, just lay there frozen, thinking in my head get off me.
    I became very depressed and was going to kill myself when someone I knew accidentally killed themselves and it was a wake up call I left my ex, I told him I didn't think it was rape cuz I did nothing to stop it but I couldn't trust him, I didn't tell anyone because it was my fault and it would ruin his life.
    now I have met a genuinely amazing man who respects me and treats me like a queen but the last few weeks I can't stop what happened running through my head I can't sleep properly im getting head aches feel anxious when in alone and I feel like in not connected to my body like im watching someone else type this, my bf has no idea anything is wrong, he thinks im coming down with some cold, should I tell him? What if he dismiss me or thinks im over reacting

  2. #2
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    Yes, you were raped repeatedly and you could file criminal charges against your ex, that's how bad the incidents were. You should immediately contact a rape counselor or at least call a rape hotline to talk to someone and get help. You're basically suffering from PTSD from the trauma and you can't just think you can lead a normal life with this burning in your mind. You need to talk to someone about this.

    If you want to tell your boyfriend, do it so he can help you seek help to recover. What you're feeling is exactly what rape victims feel. With therapy, you will be able to enjoy sex again, but you must seek help.

  3. #3

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    I just don't understand why it has taken so long to affect me this way it's been nearly a year and I have been leading a relatively normal life, I am a very strong person and have been having a normal relationship with my bf so y now? He doesn't deserve this

  4. #4
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    You need a good workup from a doctor. Also you need a referral to a psychiatrist and psychologist to address the suicidal ideas, depression, etc.. A new bf can not fix any of this. It's your job to get proper treatment for what you are describing. Don't ruin a new decent relationship by hanging on to the past not getting appropriate treatment. Time to stop feeling like a victim and start living a healthy life.

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