Need help!!

Hi all. I'll start from the beginning. The past 9 weeks me and my boyfriend of 11 yrs have barely got on, we haven't been intimate because he hasn't been interested, he has become snappy and harsh toward me. He hasn't even wanted to hold my hand etc I've been telling him all this and how much he is hurting me and he said he will try not to, and for me to stop over thinking it all, that was about 2 weeks ago, since that he has held my hand and cuddled me but you can just tell he didn't actually want to. He has coeliacs disease and was diagnosed 4 months ago. Before the diagnosis it was like that too so he got retested to see if everything is ok, it was and the Dr has said he sounds depressed. The Dr did prescribe meds but he is refusing to take them and snap out of it with will power alone. He came home last night saying he felt better just by saying it out loud and we where intimate but it still felt like he was pushed into it.

On top of all that my mum hasn't been very well and in results of that she had to have a x-ray on her check about 4 weeks ago and they found a shadow. Since then my mum has been admitted into hospital with a serious Chest infection and pneumonia. She has had a CT scan but they still have no idea. She is home now and has been for roughly 2 weeks now, she is a lot better and happier, I took her for a PET scan last Tuesday and suppose to be getting the results tomorrow.

And on top, my dad has epilepsy and has had that for several years but situations like this which causes him to worry makes him have feelings and taste which is all signs to a fit, so I have to keep and eye on him, help him with his work as he is self employed and my mum use to work with him, I'm also self employed and have my own work too.

So I'm having to reassure both my parents that it might not be nothing but if it is then it will be early stages as mum has no symptoms what so ever and we will deal with it if it is.

So not only am I over worked, I'm over tired, over emotional and have enough on my plate but I don't have anyone I can talk to or rely on. I can't think straight and I have no clue to even how I'm feeling. I'm having to reassure them and say it's all going to be ok when I'm not sure it will be myself.

Sorry for blabbering on

Everyone can take care of themselves. They have doctors and can do what they need to do. You should as well.Try not to baby, smother or control/manage everyone. Get some quality sleep, exercise, good nutrition, relaxation, and focus on your own well being. In fact perhaps it's time for you to get a good workup from a doctor and a referral to see if you have anxiety, depression, etc.

I'm having to reassure them and say it's all going to be ok when I'm not sure it will be myself.

Everyone can take care of themselves. They have doctors and can do what they need to do. You should as well.Try not to baby, smother or control/manage everyone. Get some quality sleep, exercise, good nutrition, relaxation, and focus on your own well being. In fact perhaps it's time for you to get a good workup from a doctor and a referral to see if you have anxiety, depression, etc.

I already know I have anxiety and this is not anxiety and I'm not depressed

So not only am I over worked, I'm over tired, over emotional and have enough on my plate but I don't have anyone I can talk to or rely on. I can't think straight and I have no clue to even how I'm feeling.

I do think it’s wonderful that you are such a caring person and I do think you have a number of stressors around you... but I do agree that you may be suffering from anxiety and it would probably be worthwhile to see a doctor. Do you have meds for your anxiety?

For your boyfriend, a diagnosis of celiac is not easy. One of my besties was also recently diagnosed. You really have to rearrange your whole life to avoid gluten (and gluten is basically in everything). Your body goes through changes (I know my friend was certainly cranky and lethargic). And you feel “different”. She can’t just pick something up and eat it. She has to read every label and worry about cross-contamination, etc. I think it’s normal for him to be a bit moody.

Your role (your ONLY role) in supporting your bf is to listen to him, to be understanding if he is moody or “off” and to make sure he has agency and say over everything you guys eat right now. Let him have control over the “food” part of your relationship right now.

I’m not trying to belittle the problems but... (maybe give another perspective?)

Your mom doesn’t have anything right now. She has worries. But that’s about it. Your role is to take her to the doctor if she needs a lift and be a source of positivity.

Your dad’s issues are existing and ongoing. Your mom is there to keep an eye on him too. Your role is to be aware and maybe help with some work.

It seems you have taken on everyone’s problems as your own. This is not normal or healthy. Their problems are their problems. It’s great that you are caring and supportive, but there needs to be a separation. If there is proper separation, the impact to your life should actually be pretty minimal.

I think this is where the anxiety comes in. If you suffer from anxiety, all of these things can certainly feel overwhelming and hard to deal with! They are all magnified 1,000 times! Coping is no doubt extremely difficult!

Your first priority has to be to help yourself. If you are not healthy and in a good place, you cannot effectively help others. It sounds to me like all of this has tripped your issues with anxiety (which is not abnormal) and that this is something you need to look after first. Once that is addressed, the rest should fall into place.

Just my 2 cents.