Does anyone here believe that good things can come from getting back together?

Or that people deserve second chances?

I commonly see the sentiment that if someone breaks up with you, it is an indication they are not in love with you enough to persevere and put their all into the relationship. Though, I don't think it's that simple. In fact, I'd almost say that notion is slightly fantastical, more so when the relationship involves people that have just begun adulthood—but it can be applied to almost any relationship.

It is so frequently seared into our minds that life is short and thus you should focus on being happy in the limited time you have on this planet. Yes, why continue to do things that cause us unhappiness if we have the option of removing that negative influence on our life? If I have identified my lack of physical fitness to be the source of my discontent in life, wouldn't the reasonable suggestion be to exercise and change that aspect of me?

For whatever reason, the relationship went sour. Let's discard the more extreme circumstance in which one partner cheated, was extremely toxic, abusive, deceitful, etc. Instead, I would direct the analysis to situations involving someone that has GIGS, frequent arguing over small stuff, or where attraction has been lost due to unattractive behavior; think neediness/insecurity, jealousy, perhaps someone has stopped caring about themselves physically. And we'll also assume that the person with these behaviors has demonstrated no ability to change themselves. It is exceedingly frustrating to observe false dichotomies thrown around on the basis of personal anecdotes. No one person has dated every single human on Earth, broken up with them, and then attempted to reconcile. So why is this common generalization treated as a scientific law essentially? You never see "In my experience.." or "It may differ in your case"—no, what you're more likely to hear is "Move on and forget they exist, nothing ever good comes from getting back with an ex". This remains true regardless of how genuine the person may appear in their attempt to establish contact again.

In a forum that is centered around rekindling love, there is an overwhelming amount of negativity and pessimism. Please do not misconstrue this next sentence. Not EVERYONE goes on to find the right person. It is probable in most cases for most people, but not all.

The point I'm trying to make is that the mentality of "you left me when you were unhappy and not certain about our future, you'll NEVER DESERVE ME AGAIN!!!" is a bit childish fundamentally and certainly a questionable foundation when it comes to advising someone on reconnecting with an ex. Not everyone here has been in every situation. Taking risks is a huge aspect of life and starting back up with an Ex in which the relationship was not disgustingly broken and toxic can be rewarding in some cases. Living without someone can be an enormous wake up call.

They leave a second time, though? See ya for good.

You make a lot of interesting and valid points. I can see where you're coming from with your arguments and yes, you are correct that not every single situation plays out the same.

There are the minority of relationships that do rekindle and find their way back to one another. But on the other hand, there is a lot smaller chance to reconcile.

Well written though, thanks for sharing.

Which forum is that? One of those "get your ex back" scam sites? Do you want your ex back? It seems you believe that people change for you the way you want them to and then you take them back?

In a forum that is centered around rekindling love, there is an overwhelming amount of negativity and pessimism.

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