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Abuse and Child support.


abesherman

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I was with my EX for nearly 4 years. I was her slave. I did everything she wanted. She abused me mentally emotionally physically and verbally. I cant stress how extreme the abouse was. She would be nice in public In front of her friends and times yell at me in public and she loved hurting me. She is really good at acting she is really good at faking. Even though i got some video on recording. She made something up on video so I wouldn't be able to use the recording. We use to not live together, so I paid child support then we moved in (i paid child support firectly for the baby) and I thought that I didn't need to pay. We both worked, but after living together for 8 months it was to much for me and I finally had the courage to leave. Now I get a bill of 3500 and my passport is being denied i cant leave the country. Even after i left i got things for the baby. When I left the baby wasint with her, her step mom took care of my son, and I asked her that we need to go to court and cancel child support or we will both need to pay togeter. A day later I find out that she took the baby and went back to the shelter. I emotionally cant deal with this. I dojt trust her with the baby. And I definitely dont want to pay her directly as I dont trust her. And I paid child support till now. Now I dont want to help at all and I just want to figure out how I can figure this out in court and hopefully take the baby when I am more settled financially. Can anyone give advice? Its usually the men who abuse in relationships but in here it's the women who was extremely abusive and I dont know if the court will see my side I am afraid of even going to court or to ask her to come with me I will feel she will use this against me somehow.

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If your passport has been denied, it’s already going through the courts and she already most likely has a lawyer. They don’t deny your passport just because she said so...

 

You need to see a lawyer... this train is already moving...

Exactly, if they have pulled your passport she has gone to court get yourself a lawyer, pronto . You are doing yourself no favour trying to figure that out yourself .

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Stop being petty and right fighting. You could have made a baby with the devil herself, you still have to pay child support. Youre worried about not giving her money while not concerning yourself with custody so your child is bouncing around in shelters. Get to court and get everything settled, you will be able to close the door on this horrible experience and woman and parent in peace.

 

Time to focus on your child.

 

Good luck.

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You cannot "cancel child support". This is YOUR child and your responsibility for the next 18 years. Your passport has been denied - they don't do this for no reason at all. The ball is already rolling in court. You need to get legal advice to sort this mess out between the two of you. You can't avoid it.

One can't help but feel bad for the poor child being dragged through the mess of two parents fighting each other and tossed back and forth. And now living in a shelter?? Do what's right for your child.

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If she "took the baby to the shelter" and she is living in a homeless shelter with the baby, then if i were you, i would fight for custody of the child if you have a stable home. Instead of bickering that the child was at her stepmothers and wanting to withdraw support, you should have been happy that their was a roof over your child's head. So stop bickering and make sure this child has a roof, clothes, food, etc. whether that means you fight for custody so the child is not living with a homeless woman or you both approve of stepmom taking over guardianship. Whatever - but you are not acting in the child's best interest.

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That's pretty serious. You need a very good lawyer. ✍💰This isn't about her or the baby, this is about breaking the law. This is not driven by her. It's driven by laws. And you know that. Your "I was abused" excuse is irrelevant and is not a defense against beating a child out of support.👶💸

 

Pay up before you get arrested in addition to having your drivers licence suspended. 🚗Why are you trying to leave the country? 🛂The reason they deny passports to those in serious child support arrears is because it's a crime and you are trying to flee from the law. 👣👣 Didn't work and backfired.🛑

 

The fun for you is just beginning, now that you're on the government radar, your wages will be garnished and your driver's license will be suspended, among other things. Get a lawyer. This isn't about her.

I paid child support then we moved in and I thought that I didn't need to pay. Now I get a bill of 3500 and my passport is being denied i cant leave the country. .
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Yes i went to curt with her the first time. i was hoping things will be ok. Besides for them not letting me hold my own son, it was ok. i paid whatever i had, but i still didint want to go from the system. but all is good. as i paid directly got diapers wipes food, drove every day my kid to daycare. i did evrything i could. but when it comes to the system it feels like i am forced to do it and its not from my own heart. thats not the only problem, i dont trust the system, the checks she use to get she used some for my son and took the rest for herself. if she gets a check of 3500 it will be gone in a week. she will go out party come home drunk to my son. i dont trust her. my goal is to get my self steady get myself an apartment and then fight for custeady witch i am sure i can win. but its not the right time. i am expecting another year. for now i want her step mom to take care of my son. Her step mom is a really sweet indvishule and i know he will be safe there where he will be taken good care of. the crazy thing is i should of reported her when she layid hands on me and the baby, i had scratches all over me, i was so afraid to call the cops. i didnt want her to go to jail and i didint want her to make a story up about me so i didint say anything. however giving the advice here i think i am ready to fight for my son. i will talk to a lower as soon as i can. and fight for temperry custedy. or tell my lower whats really up, and maybe he can go back to her step mom. i would ask a family member to help out. i will do whatever it takes. and when thats done i will show some of the receipt i kept, and show it in court. i hope that will be good enough.

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of cource i dont have a problem but the amount there asking is to high for me for at the moment, there was a time i didint even make that kinda money for myself a month. now i started a business and i am trying to pay off my debt slowly. and its not helping, i need a brake for a fue months and then i can pay. in the mean time i would help with what i can. in order for me to be able to relay help is for me to take care of myself first. recover from what happend, recover from money loss and debts. at the same time i would give her some money. but why should i pay her now when the court wants $3500, she wants money from me and court. NO! she is the kinda person that would use the systam just so she dose not need to do anything. i would be much more useful if i can acshuly rise.

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I moved in to the shelter with her for the baby. i only left once the baby went to her step mom. it was suppose to be a temporary thing for 2 years till we work on ourself, me with my business and her with school. i was so happy that my son can finaly be in a normal interment, where her mom wont shake the baby to prove a point to me. or hit me with the broom or take a knife to me be cuz i would ignore her to avoid fighting. so yes what i did. I was a man! and never left, and i was being abused for my son. but at the end it got to me. I am and was very strong. Howeve it weekend me for a short time. And even thou i am still week in a science when it comes to her. I am proud for what i did. but when i heard she took the baby back. evrything changed my entire 4 year relationship with her and my son sinked. everything i fought for. she is always a step ahead and now i want to be a step ahead and take custody at the right time.

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I am not trying to leave the country. i was just stating the facts of what happened. the question is why thy thy denied my passport? it even gets me more upset of what she is saying to the government to control me. She is trying to be so sweet over text latly. it makes perfect scene. she wants to show the child support that i am the bad one. NO! The truth will come out. i am getting a lawyer thanks guys. and i will take more advice. Of peaple that went thrhu what i did. what would happen. i know i will get heat by saying but if i lose in court i feel like i will destroy my self. Nobody should go thru this. This is a horrible experience. especially when the system is corrupted. I still pay her phone bill. this is really not cool.

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Thanks and i know. This is a serous. and i got child services involved. well my therapist did at the time. and i protected her from them. and this is the reason i stay away from her. she did it to get her way. I assumed that she wont do it when i am not arround. but i know in the long run its dangerous. let me make a call now. thanks Seraphim for the encurgment u gave me this entire time. u really helped me relize that i cant just stay here and hope for the best. i must act. will be in touch.

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I am not trying to leave the country. i was just stating the facts of what happened. the question is why thy thy denied my passport? it even gets me more upset of what she is saying to the government to control me. She is trying to be so sweet over text latly. it makes perfect scene. she wants to show the child support that i am the bad one. NO! The truth will come out. i am getting a lawyer thanks guys. and i will take more advice. Of peaple that went thrhu what i did. what would happen. i know i will get heat by saying but if i lose in court i feel like i will destroy my self. Nobody should go thru this. This is a horrible experience. especially when the system is corrupted. I still pay her phone bill. this is really not cool.

 

They denied it so you would not run to another country to evade child support if you are in arrears. I think you should stop paying her phone bill unless its "on the record" - that its written out as part of your child support plan instead of something under the table. Your child should not be living in a homless shelter with or without you.

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When reading this thread it comes across as neither of you being fit for parenting. Way too much dysfunction and no child should have to endure this. The child should be in a safe, and stable environment - neither of which is happening right now. Is there anyone else who can raise the child in the meantime?

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When reading this thread it comes across as neither of you being fit for parenting. Way too much dysfunction and no child should have to endure this. The child should be in a safe, and stable environment - neither of which is happening right now. Is there anyone else who can raise the child in the meantime?

 

Her step mom. Anyway i reached out to her. It seams as she may be doing good after all. ACS has helped her alot with getting Diapers crib and so on. Aperanltly her stuff got robbed. so the crib i got her is gone and she needed a new one. I was so glad to here she was on the way with my son to a museum (witch hopefully she is not lying) She really helping out so i hope. So maybe that comed me down a bit. Also before i called her i spoke to the ASC laidy to tell her what was really happening, She didn't want to listen as she believes the baby is safe. so knowing this now. Maybe i took this entire thing wrong. Maybe she really changed? i still don't trust her. But i will let it be for now. I also spoke to her about child support i told her i need to take her off my Phone plan. She begged me not to. So i asked her if we can make an arrangement between us and if not i will have to go by the system. she didn't answer yet. I told her if i go by the system i wouldn't be able to pay for her bill anymore. But if i pay her directly i will pay her by check every month. I gave her a steady amount of how much. She seamed as she knew that she had the upper hand so she tried to doge all the questions. But maybe this will be good. I don't want to be a criminal. i just want to help out and do my think and pay the bills and that's it. So i will give her a shot of being a parent. But i will never know if she is abusing my child as she is very good at hiding it. So lets hope she changed. and if she really want to work it out i will go to curt with her to figure it out. otherwise i will fight in curt for custody if i see any sign of abuse. Also on text she tried to make it seam as i never helped out (with money or anything in the matter, that it was all her) so that took me to quchtion if she is planning something in curt. well dosint matter however she wants to do it. i will figure it out with her or out, difference it if i will get a lower or not.

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