Book recommendation.

I thought I had it all figured out. I’ve heard of emotionally closed off men or those who are scared of commitment, etc and I never thought of myself as one of those. In fact I’ve always wanted a good partner, to be committed, raise a family, and to come home to a wife that gives me affection. In return I wouldn’t cheat, would call her beautiful, do things for her and be there emotionally and physically. That’s what love means to me and for the longest time I’ve dated all different types of girls. Justifying it was as simple as, this one is different than the previous ones, let’s try it.

It wasn’t until I got dumped this last time that really made me think. Made me remember the one other girl that broke my heart 6 years ago who wanted the same things. I realized that although I earn for love, I always held back thinking it would somehow fail. Things like statistics of the divorce rates, mothers losing children, mass shootings, among personal experiences with loss of family, loss of something good in general, made me close myself to my full potential. To give up my insecurities and to try without fear of failure. I didn’t even know about this particular insecurity. I grew up with acne, a language barrier, and a home where my father likes to raise his voice too much.

I have no idea if any of my relationships would have worked out for the long haul but the realization that I never really tried, strangely, makes me feel optimistic about my future.

I started reading a book called All About Love by Bell Hooks. I recommend it to everyone. Whether you’re single, married, whatever. Read it.

I’m 30 now and will probably be the 4th book I’ve ever read (the other 3 were probably high school assignments) but it’s looking like it will be the most significant.

I thought I had it all figured out. I’ve heard of emotionally closed off men or those who are scared of commitment, etc and I never thought of myself as one of those. In fact I’ve always wanted a good partner, to be committed, raise a family, and to come home to a wife that gives me affection. In return I wouldn’t cheat, would call her beautiful, do things for her and be there emotionally and physically. That’s what love means to me and for the longest time I’ve dated all different types of girls. Justifying it was as simple as, this one is different than the previous ones, let’s try it.

It wasn’t until I got dumped this last time that really made me think. Made me remember the one other girl that broke my heart 6 years ago who wanted the same things. I realized that although I earn for love, I always held back thinking it would somehow fail. Things like statistics of the divorce rates, mothers losing children, mass shootings, among personal experiences with loss of family, loss of something good in general, made me close myself to my full potential. To give up my insecurities and to try without fear of failure. I didn’t even know about this particular insecurity. I grew up with acne, a language barrier, and a home where my father likes to raise his voice too much.

I have no idea if any of my relationships would have worked out for the long haul but the realization that I never really tried, strangely, makes me feel optimistic about my future.

 

I started reading a book called All About Love by Bell Hooks. I recommend it to everyone. Whether you’re single, married, whatever. Read it.

 

I’m 30 now and will probably be the 4th book I’ve ever read (the other 3 were probably high school assignments) but it’s looking like it will be the most significant.

Conscious Loving: The Journey to Co-Commitment