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Thread: Ask to be set up or hope to get introduced naturally?

  1. #1
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    Ask to be set up or hope to get introduced naturally?

    Okay, so I see this guy at church once every three weeks or so, he only attends my church when he is on the worship team, about once a month (he is in a few teams across churches). I see him but havent been introduced. Im also pretty shy, Im not able to walk up and introduce myself.
    Im 29, and so is he. I have a close older friend who is a mentor figure to me and who has known this guy for years. Im tempted to ask her if she knows what hes looking for and if shed ask him if hed like to meet me. Im not sure if this is a good idea or a bad one. The only time Ive heard of set ups happening is when an person asks a single person if theyd consider someone they know as well not the single person asking for a set up...

    What do you think is best? If a set up is what you recommend what would you say? If not, what reasoning are you working off of?

    Thanks in advance!

  2. #2
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    Instead of a set-up, just have your mentor introduce you and then leave. You can say something like you admire what he's doing and whether you could take him to dinner (or coffee or drinks). I don't think your mentor should do your work for you. But prepare ahead of time what you're going to say to him. An simple introduction will do.

  3. #3
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Just ask for an introduction not "what he's looking for". Do not ask her to "set you up". Better yet, why can't you be friendly and just introduce yourself? If you are "too shy" to do that perhaps you're not ready to date.
    Originally Posted by FirstDates
    ask her if she knows what hes looking for and if shed ask him if hed like to meet me.!

  4. #4
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    Ask for an itroduction, none of the other stuff.

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  6. #5
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    Originally Posted by Hollyj
    Ask for an itroduction, none of the other stuff.
    I agree and when I was single I often asked for introductions to real people and strangers from people I trusted.

  7. #6
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Why don't you ask him for coffee or friend/follow him on social media?
    Originally Posted by FirstDates
    I see this guy at church once every three weeks or so, he only attends my church when he is on the worship team, about once a month. Im 29, and so is he.


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