FWB acting weird... and not sure what the cause is

I've been in an FWB with someone for about a month, and the sex has been fantastic.

There's been cuddling on her couch, passionate kisses and hugs before I leave, sometimes long hugs where she exhales.

About a week ago I had a really off night in bed, blame my allergy medicine that cut my erection short and I felt embarrassed by it, told her it wasn't her, but instead me (psyched myself out a bit too much)

Anywho, the last week or so, she's Snapchatted me a few times, views my stories on Instagram, but is few and far with her texts. If I try to go a day without texting her, she'll generally text me.

She's been out of a 4 year relationship where she got burned pretty bad, and cheated on, so I understand the fragility. She's said to me that I've been nice to her and affectionate. She seems to reciprocate back.

Figuring that she might be trying to ghost me, I decided to not text her yesterday until 11:30 she texted me a photo of two people passionately kissing (pertaining to the work I do) and not much else.

Though it seems like when I talk to her, she tends to get a bit silent, we've had some really deep and great conversations, but she seems hesitant.

She's told me countless times, not to catch feelings because she won't reciprocate them back, but I'm wondering if she's the one who's developing feelings and is doing everything she can block them?

The problem with FWB is someone always gets feelings. She might have said this a month ago, or even a week ago, but, come on. You're cuddling and kissing and hugging. These are dates, not FWB.

In any event, when you had your problem did you at least finish her off or did you just stop everything? Men take this kind of failure a lot more seriously than women do -- as long as you're attentive to their needs! You didn't mention your ages. (Why don't people list their ages?) Anyways, if she's young, she might think you don't care anymore, but that's probably more if you didn't satisfy her.

You don't you call her and tell her you miss her like crazy, and you desire her, and all that mushy stuff. Unless there's other issues you haven't told us about, you may find yourself back in her good graces.

To me it sounds like you're the one with feelings here. And, hey, no problem with that. But generally speaking, when we find ourselves trying to unravel the mystery of another it's because we're a bit scared to admit what's going on within.

I mean, if this is purely FWB—been there—then you just kind of ebb and flow and not think too much. But you're thinking plenty, so, what's up?

As for the erection thing? I mean, maybe you guys are super young, but that happens. It's fun. It's funny. It's life. It's not the thing that changes a whole dynamic, especially if it's a one off.

a photo of two people passionately kissing (pertaining to the work I do) and not much else.

What kind of work do you do?!?

FWB is a temporary situation. See what happens but be prepared for her to ghost at anytime for any reason.

I've been in an FWB with someone for about a month.Figuring that she might be trying to ghost me, I decided to not text her yesterday until 11:30 she texted me

She's been out of a 4 year relationship where she got burned pretty bad, and cheated on, so I understand the fragility. She's said to me that I've been nice to her and affectionate. She seems to reciprocate back.

This screams of rebound. Ride it out while you can, once her confidence gets back she'll either ghost you or decide to continue FWB until she finds someone she is serious about. Either way, be prepared for things to change. That's often how these things go.

I'm wondering if she's the one who's developing feelings and is doing everything she can block them?

I'm sorry, but that's a "no" on both accounts. This is not dating. This is FWB. Dating is when you regularly go out on planned dates, reciprocate feelings, and start to integrate into each other's lives. When a person tells you not to catch feelings because they won't be returned, you should believe them. You need to move on from her. You want more and she does not. Find someone on your level.

She's told me countless times, not to catch feelings because she won't reciprocate them back, but I'm wondering if she's the one who's developing feelings and is doing everything she can block them?

She's told YOU countless times to not catch feelings but you are.

She wants a Eff buddy... not someone who bugs her constantly with in between texting.

She is passionate in her sexual interaction with you. That doesn't mean she wants to nurture a relationship with you.

Since your actions (with the texting and this thread) scream that YOU want to be more then her FB (not FWB) and actually be more involved in her life, I suggest that you talk to her about advancing the relationship or stop being so engulfing and just go with the FB flow if you don't want to go zero contact so you can actually get over her.

The truth is I'm an overanalyzer and I tend to take things personally when they don't go my way or someone doesn't give me attention... but I've been trying to sway myself from thinking that way.

Over these last 2 weeks we've had very little conversations, but I feel she's testing me with distant texting, to see if I'm clingy or going to be hitting her up constantly.

Earlier this week I went about 48 hours without texting her and then she Snapchatted me. Earlier today I hadn't texted her all day or a single social media and she sent me a photo via Snapchat based on a comment I made on her story last night.

So I feel like something's still there, she hasn't told me we're over.

Mind you though she's been up and down with her relationship ending in June, so I feel that it's a bit rollercoaster, she had a lot of sex in the beginning and then that stopped currently, which either leads me to believe that we might have been moving too fast, she wanted to process her singleness (maybe talk to other people, I'm fine with that) but for her getting dumped, which was pretty much her whole world, I understand that it's a lot to go through so I have to remind myself that me not getting attention is rather childish considering all the attention she gave me.

The truth is I'm an overanalyzer and I tend to take things personally when they don't go my way or someone doesn't give me attention... but I've been trying to sway myself from thinking that way.

 

Over these last 2 weeks we've had very little conversations, but I feel she's testing me with distant texting, to see if I'm clingy or going to be hitting her up constantly.

 

Earlier this week I went about 48 hours without texting her and then she Snapchatted me. Earlier today I hadn't texted her all day or a single social media and she sent me a photo via Snapchat based on a comment I made on her story last night.

 

So I feel like something's still there, she hasn't told me we're over.

 

Mind you though she's been up and down with her relationship ending in June, so I feel that it's a bit rollercoaster, she had a lot of sex in the beginning and then that stopped currently, which either leads me to believe that we might have been moving too fast, she wanted to process her singleness (maybe talk to other people, I'm fine with that) but for her getting dumped, which was pretty much her whole world, I understand that it's a lot to go through so I have to remind myself that me not getting attention is rather childish considering all the attention she gave me.

This was a NO STRINGS ATTACHED relationship. You are trying to put strings on it and that is why she's distant.

Sounds like she needs to lead. Let her initiate the contact.

Also, tell her that you arent sure how often to reach out for your "benefits"

you want to cash in, but not appear clingy. She may have some specific things she wants in that area too.

Your relationship sounds more of a bf/gf relationship than FWB as some as said, but line can be tricky in FWB relationships, depending on preferences. To me, it sounds as though she might be interested in a relationship with you but may be too scared to engage and getting hurt again. The question here is what are you seeking? Would you be interested in more or would you rather not to? In any case, the best option would be to have a honest chat with her about it and define what works for you in this relationship and what's not.