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Thread: He slept with someone else.

  1. #11
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    We've been together for 4 and a half years this is the only time I've felt like I can't trust him anymore, I looked at his phone and i known it's petty but he's adding tarty girls on Facebook even now, I don't know what to think anymore what's real and a fabrication. I don't know what he can do to make everything right or even if I want him to try and make it up to me.

  2. #12
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    It sounds like you are in an abusive relationship and need to move out. You are not a breeding cow. Never get pregnant or claim you may be to hang onto a man, as you can see it doesn't work. He cheated and threw you out.

    That whole thing is nonsense, so is thinking stds cause kidney stones. You need to go to a doctor and get checked for stds.

    Where did you stay when he threw you out? Move back home to your family. He doesn't feel guilty for anything. He simply treats you like dirt and probably always has.
    Originally Posted by KloeAnn
    he knew i adamantly dont want kids right now. he kept snapping and talking to me horribly especially when he got drunk even after a good night out, we'd get home and he d turn on me for no reason.

  3. #13
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    We were apart for less than 3 days and stayed at my mum and dads, I moved into my mum's on the Friday and I was back at home by sunday. I feel stupid because I came running back. I've been for all sti screenings I'm currently waiting for results back.

  4. #14
    Platinum Member melancholy123's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by KloeAnn
    He addmitted everything when I over heard his dad mention "the girl from Congleton" because he was in hospital none of the doctors knew what it was and they still dont, his dad called and mentioned kidney stones and said that it could be caused by an std, then said "well what about the girl from Congleton?" My patner had mentioned it to both his dad's and they both said not to tell me. At the time all this was happening I thought I might have been pregnant, which I wasn't. Then he said to me in so many words that if I don't have a baby with him I couldn't be with him. I never wanted to go on a break, he did.
    I don't know if "the girl from Congleton" is pregnant or not, I'm just worried of the possibility of her being pregnant.
    I've asked him so many questions about that night that he has refused to answer, all I know is that he was pissed to the back nines while visiting his dad, his dad apparently went home, this girl came up to him and he went back to hers, did the deed and he left.
    You left out a lot of info in your first post as I was left wondering how you knew he'd slept with her and that she is possibly pregnant. That changes everything. You are better off without this guy, he's a liar and a cheat. If you cant get past this, get some therapy. This is no way to have a relationship with anyone.

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  6. #15
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    How old is he? How old are you? Do you ever want a decent faithful man and family? This is not that man.

    Ok move back home. He treats you like trash. Get away from him and go no contact and delete and block him. He will continue to cheat, drink, throw you out on a whim, etc. Get a better life for yourself. Pull your self respect together and get out.
    Originally Posted by KloeAnn
    stayed at my mum and dads

  7. #16
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    Perhaps he was pressuring you to conceive because he knew you didn't want to, and it might force a break-up. So he could sleep with this other woman. It sounds like an engineered conflict to serve an ulterior motive, on his part.

  8. #17
    Platinum Member bluecastle's Avatar
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    This sounds very, very messy. And very, very dishonest—and I'm not even referring to his infidelity. That's really just the sharpest edge of the knife that's been cutting through this relationship for some time. An acute symptom of larger problems, not THE problem. And it hurts, I know. I've been there.

    You guys couldn't have honest conversations about the state of things, for a long time. You couldn't have honest conversations about this "break," and what it meant. It is of course very, very hard to say something like, "I love you, I'm super confused, things have been really tough, and I'm attracted to someone else." Or: "I love you, but I want to sleep with someone else." Sometimes, in a long term relationship, just being able to say those things can bring people closer and more secure. The desire gets demystified, and suddenly action seems redundant. But that's a level of honesty that you guys don't have.

    Look, if you sounded happy with his guy I'd have some pretty whimsical advice. But you sound miserable, as does he, and it's worth asking when was the last time you were truly secure in this. He can't take back what happened, how it came up, who he is. Knowing all that, what, really do you want right now? I think you'd be happier mourning this chapter so you can make space for something that feels better.

  9. #18
    Platinum Member DancingFool's Avatar
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    I'm sorry OP, but it sounds like your relationship has been over for awhile in that your bf has been checked out of it for some time and ready to move on. However, he is also way too much of a coward to simply end things with you. So instead, he is opting to literally torture you with bs, be mean to you, tell you that he wants kids when he knows that right now you don't (he is lying) - what he really wants is to push you over the edge where you do the breaking up.

    Save yourself a lot pain, more abuse and confusion and go ahead and oblige him and dump him for good. Move out permanently and delete him from your life. All technicalities aside, he even cheated on you. Doesn't get worse than that. He has deliberately tanked this relationship and no, he isn't sorry and he isn't going to fix anything. He means to tank it.

  10. #19
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    This is gonna sound totally dysfunctional and bizarre, but when I was attending a meet-up support "therapy" group, one very insecure man with low self esteem admitted to wanting to impregnate his girlfriend, NOT because he wanted to be a dad, or even stay in the relationship, but rather because he was so insecure about his own masculinity, getting her pregnant with his sperm would "make him feel like a man."

    Since hearing that, I have often wondered if this is why there are so many deadbeat dads; they never wanted to be dads, so when their kid was born, they abandoned.

    Can't say that what's going on with your guy OP, but in any event, agree with others, get rid!
    Last edited by katrina1980; 09-20-2018 at 12:19 PM.

  11. #20
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    So, the break was about your not wanting kids?

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