I'm in between dating her or not because of the age different. Need advice!

Hi!

I hope I can explain the best way possible so you can understand. Normally I would not date a 17 year old girl, but she gives me mixed signals.

A little bit of a back story. I met this girl from my friends event and she is just 17 years old while I'm 22. We have known each other for 1 year. In the beginning we hung out with each others friends and that was when we started to talk. Not just that, but also on snapchat.

She then went to go on and ask me if I wanted to go out with just her and I said yes. So we went to a amusement park and also celebrated her friends birthday. While I thought this was just a casual thing like friends do to go out and have fun I might have taken it the wrong way as she asked me to go out meaning like a date. I did not realise until now.

I have also been noticing her body language/signal, but what I got from it is mixed. She does not play with her hair, but she is nervous and likes to fickle with things when she talks to me. She talks a lot about other guys, but at the same time she wants to be with me a lot asking to meet often. Also the other day I suggested we could eat after the event, but she said only Mcdonald or burger king cause she don't have enough money for restaurant. I paid for her food and she started to cuddle more which I think it's all because I paid. All that seems like she is either friendzoning me or just being flirty to be nice.

Initially the first thing that comes to my head is to not date her because she is way to young, although she will be 18 in a month I still feel like we are at a different stages in life. I work and have my own apartment, while she is studying and are living with her parents. Also! for a 17 year old she is mature and act as an adult. I strongly believe that things could work out as long as I don't push her and let her get space for studying and to be with friends.

I don't know if it will be worth it do date such a young girl.

I would appreciate some advice! (:

Is she still in high school? If so, avoid, avoid, avoid.

Is she still in high school? If so, avoid, avoid, avoid.

The thing is, she will be 18 in a month and I think she is really mature for that age. I'm just in between choosing to date her or not. Oh and yes she is still in high school

You already know this is a bad idea, why are you questioning yourself? 18 is an age of exploration for most, not commitment.

You already know this is a bad idea, why are you questioning yourself? 18 is an age of exploration for most, not commitment.

I have made up my mind thanks to advice and I will not date her, but rather see her as a friend.

You're at an age where you're graduating uni and stepping out into the real world. She is still in high school... Yikes.

Yes stay friends only.

Just because a girl has the body of a woman doesn't make her one.

Good advice above. Find someone your own age. She's still a kid in high school, how she acts has nothing to do with her age and appearing older than she is. You are at a totally different stage of life than she is.

Nope. She is a high school student. if she can't communicate clearly with you on whether something is a date or just tagging along with a friend -- then she is not "mature beyond her age" - she is just her age. a five year difference is huge at that age.

I see you decided not to date her. I suggest because she does see herself dating you and is interested, that you should only see her as a friend in a group - you should not go out one on one to not send her mixed messages. Are all of your friends high school students or is she someone's little sister in the group?

Nope. She is a high school student. if she can't communicate clearly with you on whether something is a date or just tagging along with a friend -- then she is not "mature beyond her age" - she is just her age. a five year difference is huge at that age.

 

I see you decided not to date her. I suggest because she does see herself dating you and is interested, that you should only see her as a friend in a group - you should not go out one on one to not send her mixed messages. Are all of your friends high school students or is she someone's little sister in the group?

No she is not a little sister in someone’s group (: and not all of my friends are currently in high school. Most of my friends I know because we went to school together (at that time when I was in school) but I have also friends who are younger.

Let me explain. Here in Norway we have lunch break and other breaks together with all the other different classes. Also not only that but on projects too

To put it short, you get to know everyone and it doesn’t matter if you are class 1 in high school, class 2 or class 3 which is highest.

Well, girls her age like older boys who can take them places, who have money and can take them out on dates, maybe who even have a car to go places. I think a relationship would depend on what are your shared interests. Do you have things in common that you can talk about? A date can be pretty boring if neither party has anything to say or if one party does all the talking. You could just get to know her and see what happens.

Last edited by Benjamin1; Yesterday at 08:13 PM. Reason: Don't know that the title could be hahah

This made me smile....but anyway, yeah, she's probably a bit too much of a young'un for you.

Update: She asked me to be with her friends this week, so maybe that is a positive way to tell that she just want to be friends with me?

This made me smile....but anyway, yeah, she's probably a bit too much of a young'un for you.

It was supposed to be « Don’t know what the title could be» hahah

Has she asked you to buy her alcohol from Polet (Vinmonopolet - the alcohol monopoly system in Norway) yet? That's generally why a 17 year old Norwegian girl would want to get together with a 22 year old Norwegian guy, so she can use him to buy her and her friends booze... Just saying... ;)

Steer clear and date someone age appropriate, as someone else mentioned, at the ages you two are now, 5 years is a pretty huge difference in experience and maturity. I mean, when you were 14, you wouldn't have dated a 9 year old would you? Same age difference and the experience and maturity level seems like a good parallel to me. At 14 you have all kinds of things going on that a 9 year old wouldn't even begin to understand, and the same for a 22 year old and 17 year old. It's a world apart.

In 10 years, it wouldn't seem nearly as big a deal, but it's all about relativity. Right now, that 5 year difference is nearly 1/3 of her life (.277%)

Update: She asked me to be with her friends this week, so maybe that is a positive way to tell that she just want to be friends with me?

Stop being a spectator in your life going along with whatever other people do. you decided she is inappropriate to date --- so therefore i think you should not keep going out at her invitation - with friends or no friends. I think you should find a young woman closer to your own age and life stage to date. 17 year olds ask you out to go with their friends because that is the next activity they happen to be doing or are looking for feedback from their friends on you - if you are someone they should continue to pursue, do they think you like like her, etc. Its you being presented to the jury of her peers.

What i meant by group hang outs - if you are with friends and run into her - or someone else rounds up the group -- that you do not all her up yourself, etc.

My brother waited until my SIL was 18 (he is 13 years older)...and now they've been together for 16 years, and married for 11 years. Granted, we've known their family before she was even born. And what's weirder is that her sister is married to my eldest. Hahahhahaahha...I'm not kidding either. Makes spending the holidays so much easier since we are all in the same place.

To be honest, my young SIL was probably way more mature than a whole slew of us at 25. Nothing wrong with being friends...but wait until she's 18!

Has she asked you to buy her alcohol from Polet (Vinmonopolet - the alcohol monopoly system in Norway) yet? That's generally why a 17 year old Norwegian girl would want to get together with a 22 year old Norwegian guy, so she can use him to buy her and her friends booze... Just saying... ;)

Nice to see some Norwegians here. No she haven't asked me to buy her alcohol, but she asked me to go out and drink when she is 18. :)

17 year olds ask you out to go with their friends because that is the next activity they happen to be doing or are looking for feedback from their friends on you - if you are someone they should continue to pursue, do they think you like like her, etc. Its you being presented to the jury of her peers.

True. I would still meet up and just be myself and we'll see what will happened afterwards. If I don't go out at her invitation then me and her will not even be friends, so I think I should just tell her that I'm not interested in dating, but rather see her as a friend.

True. I would still meet up and just be myself and we'll see what will happened afterwards. If I don't go out at her invitation then me and her will not even be friends, so I think I should just tell her that I'm not interested in dating, but rather see her as a friend.

What i said before -- is that you should not go out if you are invited out by her---- Its okay to NOT EVEN BE FRIENDS. If there is no other reason that you would run into her (she is not your best friends little sister or you have the same tennis instructor and run into eachother at the club) unless she called and asked you out, then i see no reason to lead her on or to associate. do you even know for sure she is 17 and not 16 and lying about her age? If she calls you up and invites you out -- tell her "you know what, i like you, but i cannot date you. you are still in high school and its not appropriate for me to hang out with you like that. I know you will meet someone closer to your age" And MEET appropriate women to date. Entertaining/calling up a high school kid is just not cool