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Thread: Ex cheated on me

  1. #31
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    just run as far as you can

  2. #32
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    Originally Posted by Jorge2
    Leave her. The combustibility of her relationship with her x-boyfriend will impact your relationship with her for as long as he wants it to be. He dominates her, she fears him, loves him and is afraid of hurting him, even though she knows it's not healthy being with him. I've seen this movie rerun, and logic isn't applicable. He's dominantly abusive, intimidates her, however she can't release the addiction of being with him and you're caught in the middle. Lastly, has it crossed your mind that YOU were the other man, and that she was with him all along and not vice versa? Give some thought to it.
    Actually, you hit the nail on the head. He has beaten her, scolded her, choked her and basically in my opinion borrowed money from her without any intentions of returning the funds.

    I have been thinking a lot and could not find any logic to her, and yours is a good insight. Thank you.

    I have looked at me being the third party. I mean I can reframe it in my mind that I was sleeping with her with no attachments but I really did care a lot about her. But thank you for pointing it out to me again.

  3. 11-10-2018, 02:08 PM

  4. #33
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    Originally Posted by Hollyj
    You only dated two weeks, and then moved in together. Huge mistake. You should date someone at least a year before moving in. You didn't even know each other. Why would you move in together so quickly? She needed a place to go?

    You also do not get involved with people who are recently out of a long-term relationship. They have not had time to process the relationship.

    Your relationship never had a chance.
    Oh my gosh so true with me and my boyfriend (or soon to be ex???)
    We knew each other for two weeks and then we eloped to Texas and then we lived together ever since but we’ve been together for nine months now and we’re on the verge of a break up because we are still so Horrified from the past mistakes that we made earlier in the relationship we should’ve never moved on so quickly together. I still love him but I don’t know if he’s going home tonight so there you go

  5. #34
    Platinum Member lostandhurt's Avatar
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    There are times when it is just bad timing and then there are times when it just isn't a good idea to get involved with someone. This wasn't bad timing, she is a mess and as has been pointed out so well attached to this guy in some very unhealthy ways.

    Enter you; Nice guy that has been watching her struggles and even possibly been a shoulder to cry on. What do us nice guys do? We have a soft spot for a damsel in distress and we think we will save them from the evil ex and sometimes from themselves.

    Change comes from hitting the bottom in some way and having that face plant moment where we tell ourselves "this is wrong and I need to get out of this cycle" You mentioned she has a lot of suitors. This tells me you are probably not the first guy sucked into this mess and you certainly will not be the last. She has little incentive to change either and why should she? There is the abusive ex she will return to over and over again and plenty of guys to catch her in between being with the ex.

    Be smart, ignore those instincts to save her and look out for yourself. There are a lot of broken people in the world and it isn't your job to fix them, no matter how cute they are...

    Lost

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