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Thread: Ex cheated on me

  1. #21
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    You only dated two weeks, and then moved in together. Huge mistake. You should date someone at least a year before moving in. You didn't even know each other. Why would you move in together so quickly? She needed a place to go?

    You also do not get involved with people who are recently out of a long-term relationship. They have not had time to process the relationship.

    Your relationship never had a chance.

  2. #22
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    Originally Posted by Hollyj
    You only dated two weeks, and then moved in together. Huge mistake. You should date someone at least a year before moving in. You didn't even know each other. Why would you move in together so quickly? She needed a place to go?

    You also do not get involved with people who are recently out of a long-term relationship. They have not had time to process the relationship.

    Your relationship never had a chance.
    Wow, your analysis is really brutal. But thanks, I really needed that.

  3. #23
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    It wasn't meant to hurt.

    You have to get to know people. This takes time.

  4. #24
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    Originally Posted by bluecastle
    You know the path, it's clear. Really feeling for you.

    YEARS. Whenever you're spinning in these hard, early days, just let that word drop like Hiroshima. YEARS.

    Take the lessons, but don't let the resentment harden. It SUCKS, I know.

    But this isn't some moment to become cynical and paranoid, and that's what engaging will do. Let it be a stubbed toe, not a broken leg. You tripped on her sh*t and scraped your knee.

    Now you stay clear of her sh*t. Not yours to clean up.
    I have to remind myself it is not my responsiblity to clean up her act. Thanks for helping me see the light.

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  6. #25
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    Originally Posted by Hollyj
    It wasn't meant to hurt.

    You have to get to know people. This takes time.
    Actually we did spend a lot of time together because we were together every night after her work. But it was too soon as you put it. And don't need to apologize for being brutally honest. Sometimes things just need to be said.
    Gracias.

  7. #26
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    Originally Posted by forthebest
    Actually we did spend a lot of time together because we were together every night after her work. But it was too soon as you put it. And don't need to apologize for being brutally honest. Sometimes things just need to be said.
    Gracias.
    De nada.

    You sound like a sweet guy. Even id you were together nightly, two weeks is nothing. Next time, please wait at least a year before moving in. As you can see, you did not know this woman. Also, she was no where ready ready to date.

  8. #27
    Platinum Member catfeeder's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by forthebest
    she had just come out of a manipulative relationship and I was there at the right time.
    No, you were there at the worst time. You positioned yourself as a rebound, and the results were predictable. I'd walk away and tell her that she's free to settle all her old business. She can contact you a few months after she's been free and clear of all involvement with her ex, and if you're still available then, you can meet to catch up. Meanwhile, I'd be in zero contact.

    Read up on rebounding.

  9. #28
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    Originally Posted by catfeeder
    No, you were there at the worst time. You positioned yourself as a rebound, and the results were predictable. I'd walk away and tell her that she's free to settle all her old business. She can contact you a few months after she's been free and clear of all involvement with her ex, and if you're still available then, you can meet to catch up. Meanwhile, I'd be in zero contact.

    Read up on rebounding.
    Actually I have done 26 days of NC. As for unsettled business I think there are lots of them for her. I just found out that she has been staging me on social media, as in posting about someone else to make me jealous and pity her and think that she is having problems with her current ex (or boyfriend currently).

    Anyway, having gone through this whole unfortunate incident.

    I wish to thank all who have inputted their opionions; they have been terrific and you have helped a stranger and thank you from the bottom of a stranger's heart.

  10. #29
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Sorry this happened. All in all it sounds like you dodged a bullet. Stay no contact and block and delete her from all messaging and social media.

  11. #30

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    Release her

    Leave her. The combustibility of her relationship with her x-boyfriend will impact your relationship with her for as long as he wants it to be. He dominates her, she fears him, loves him and is afraid of hurting him, even though she knows it's not healthy being with him. I've seen this movie rerun, and logic isn't applicable. He's dominantly abusive, intimidates her, however she can't release the addiction of being with him and you're caught in the middle. Lastly, has it crossed your mind that YOU were the other man, and that she was with him all along and not vice versa? Give some thought to it.

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