Not coping

That awful guy from my last post finally did something that made me not even want to be friends with him, and then the next day hikacked a post of mine to spew vile vile hate at me (whilst still sending me pms and seeking validation), if he is narcissistic then full devalue mode (if he isn’t then he’s ing evil). Now he’s blocked me.

 

He is the aggressive one, he is the person who is radiating hate, I haven’t said a ing thing to him and he didn’t just unfriend, he BLOCKED ME

 

I feel rejected and crushed and cheated of that piece of catharsis and I’m in the thick of work and I can’t keep myself together this hurts so much

Who is this guy? An ex?

 

A post here on ENA or on social media?

 

(sorry for being out of the loop).

 

Anyway I'm very sorry for this and I hope that you feel better soon.

You need to stay far, far away from people like this. And yes, I have personal experience as well. My ex was a very unstable, erratic man who loved me one minute and hated me the next. He suffered from a specific personality disorder (diagnosed) but refused any and all treatment. The rapid cycling of his moods was extremely unpredictable and unnerving.

 

In the end, the reason they do it doesn't matter. What matters is that you need to work on you now, and begin to understand why you didn't walk away from him first.

Remaining in dysfunctional relationships seems to be a pattern for you, a1a1 and I'm wondering why you haven't worked on your personal boundaries so that you have the tools in place to quickly get rid and (keep gone) turds who show you how very abhorrent they are.

 

Have you got yourself hooked up with a good therapist proficient in showing you how important personal boundaries are and how to avoid taking them down for others? You don't value yourself enough to keep you emotionally safe so please look into correcting that.

Annia, this jerk (only got worse until he’s telling me I have a personality disorder because I get offended when he says really offensive . I couldn’t stay friends with him after that) https://www.enotalone.com/forum/showthread.php?t=553287

 

Miss Canuck I’m just the other side of 6 sessions with a psych spanning a few months tha with the explicit objective of walking away faster. She recommended unconditional self acceptance, mindfulness. Distress tolerance. I feel like I’ve barely improved at all and if that’s all there is will it ever be enough?

Sorry this is happening but full no contact and delete/block is what you should do now.

still sending me pms. he BLOCKED ME.

The fact that is guy is a jerk but you’re completely wrapped up in the fact that HE blocked YOU, is very telling a1a1, I’m not that familiar with your posts but you deffinetelty need to be brutally honest with yourself and work through why you date jerks. And that’s all he is, a jerk, if being mean and rude and playing games with an ex made one a narcissist 50% of the population would be one.

 

Often times when that diagnosis crap comes around it’s because the person can’t reconcile in their minds how an ex can treat them so differently, because they are still in a relationship mindset. Expect exes to treat you differently, you’re broken up, and if you insist on holding on after the breakup well, expect them to start treating you bad, completely normal. The only way to avoid all this is to learn to detach. There’s no need to be in contact with him, block and delete already. Heal. An ex doing something mean when you’re in the throws of heartbreak can feel like they are indeed the cruelest person on the planet, but put it in perspective. It’s social media, I’m sure you’ve seen friends fighting with exes before.

Adding to my above post:

 

he BLOCKED ME

 

I feel rejected and crushed and cheated of that piece of catharsis and I’m in the thick of work and I can’t keep myself together this hurts so much

It is very concerning that you would even try to contact him to discover that you were blocked. People who do vile things to you should make you happy that you no longer can communicate.

 

You Must work on your self-worth so that you truly believe that you are the PRIZE that people need to value and respect and if they don't then YOU are the one that gets rid of them for good.

Annia, this jerk (only got worse until he’s telling me I have a personality disorder because I get offended when he says really offensive . I couldn’t stay friends with him after that) https://www.enotalone.com/forum/showthread.php?t=553287

 

Miss Canuck I’m just the other side of 6 sessions with a psych spanning a few months tha with the explicit objective of walking away faster. She recommended unconditional self acceptance, mindfulness. Distress tolerance. I feel like I’ve barely improved at all and if that’s all there is will it ever be enough?

 

Don't be afraid to try another therapist if the one you are with isn't making feel like you're making any progress in learning how to love yourself enough to walk away quickly from people who don't show you that they value you.

1a1a, best to see his psycho behavior for what it is - gaslighting to get you crazy and solicit a reaction.

 

Solution: Rise above the BS, don't allow yourself to get crazy and don't react! To him, to us, or within yourself..

 

Just don't allow yourself to go there, it's your choice.

 

Narcissist, sociopath, a-hole, who cares???

 

You take care of you, block, delete and don't read his sh**!

 

However effed up HE is, they're his issues, his dysfunction, his pathology, let *him* deal with his sh** himself.

 

You are rising above the bs, letting this go and moving on!

 

Best of luck!!

I think you are so all over the place is because he seems to have all the control and it's messing you up real bad. Well that is how abusers do their magic. It's all about control....the more you stew over this the more control he has over you....by ignoring his words and actions, and never give him a reaction, makes you win. I agree with ThatWasThen, not all therapies, or therapists are the same. And if you are not in the least feeling any better, do your research and find one that is better suited to deal with your situation. A few of my friends, tried therapy and simply just gave up, when they should have tried someone new instead. You want to get better, it is up to you to take responsibility for your mental health, because no one else is going to do it for you. Don't give up on it, you fight your fight for your happiness that you so deserve.

Keep going to your therapist.

If you could wave a magic wand, what would be your alternative idea about how your contact with this guy should end?