Partner's sister is a nightmare

[SherrySher]

I would see that as trying too hard

Nah. She didn't even know I had mentioned getting a gift. How it came about was his mother asked if I minded her getting me something for christmas, which I thought was very sweet.
We agreed to exchange small gifts. Of course his sister came into mind as I didn't want to be leaving people out. But bf said to me that it would be a waste of time as she won't be grateful and will criticize anything I get, so to not bother.
It put a bit of a damper on things as christmas should be nice, but so be it.

As for the lie, yes, I agree it no doubt made her feel a fool. Though it was such a blatant, obvious lie I felt the need to point it out. We had only met the one time and to be honest it really surprised me how a complete stranger would feel the need to start off by lying to someone.
Apparently this isn't a unusual for her though.
What was unusual was someone calling her on it. I don't regret it either. I was not angry when I spoke to her about it, I merely asked why.
I also let it go and told her so.
It didn't matter, her rage went on for six months.
That's her issues.
I have done what I can to remedy this situation, but like others have said, it's best to just come to terms with it and stay out of her way.

[catfeeder]

As for the lie, yes, I agree it no doubt made her feel a fool. Though it was such a blatant, obvious lie I felt the need to point it out...

Why? If it was so obvious to all concerned, why would you feel a 'need' to appoint yourself the 'pointer' and the fool maker of someone who you don't even know, but who is important to your partner?

That pretty much sealed any potential you may have had with Ms. Grisly. BUT! Since she's not your cup o' tea anyway, I'd just write her off as no big loss and put your eyes back on your own paper.

Be kind when you see her, but position yourself to see less of her. Quit trying to ingratiate yourself with her, because THAT is what's causing your stomach bile. Make a better choice for yourself and let it go.

Head high, you can do this.

[abitbroken]

Nah. She didn't even know I had mentioned getting a gift. How it came about was his mother asked if I minded her getting me something for christmas, which I thought was very sweet.
We agreed to exchange small gifts. Of course his sister came into mind as I didn't want to be leaving people out. But bf said to me that it would be a waste of time as she won't be grateful and will criticize anything I get, so to not bother.
It put a bit of a damper on things as christmas should be nice, but so be it.

As for the lie, yes, I agree it no doubt made her feel a fool. Though it was such a blatant, obvious lie I felt the need to point it out. We had only met the one time and to be honest it really surprised me how a complete stranger would feel the need to start off by lying to someone.
Apparently this isn't a unusual for her though.
What was unusual was someone calling her on it. I don't regret it either. I was not angry when I spoke to her about it, I merely asked why.
I also let it go and told her so.
It didn't matter, her rage went on for six months.
That's her issues.
I have done what I can to remedy this situation, but like others have said, it's best to just come to terms with it and stay out of her way.

Your bf is keeping the drama up if he tells you to skip his sister because she won't appreciate it. if the adults are exchanging gifts for some reason, then get something small for everybody and don't leave her out. I am sure you can figure out something she would appreciate. And if she doesn't? who cares. Don't keep score if she doesn't say thank you.

[SherrySher]

I think he meant it more like a warning, not that I couldn't do so. I think it was more or less him trying to say that if I did get something, don't be upset by her reaction.

But yes, you're right, if I do get something, I won't expect much. To be honest though, I have decided to just get a nice card and leave it be.

How much you wanna bet though that she still finds fault and calls me a cheapskate or that I left her out? lol
I'm serious, there is no "winning" with this woman.

[abitbroken]

I think he meant it more like a warning, not that I couldn't do so. I think it was more or less him trying to say that if I did get something, don't be upset by her reaction.

But yes, you're right, if I do get something, I won't expect much. To be honest though, I have decided to just get a nice card and leave it be.

How much you wanna bet though that she still finds fault and calls me a cheapskate or that I left her out? lol
I'm serious, there is no "winning" with this woman.

I would *not* leave her out. if you buy gifts for everyone, do not simply get her a card. You should not care about he reaction, so as long as you are treating her equally and not snubbing her. If you get her something - who cares if she doesn't appreciate it or calls you a cheapskate. But excluding her makes a statement and stirs the pot.

[SherrySher]

You're probably right. Most likely a box of chocolates. Who doesn't like chocolate?

[LHGirl]

You're probably right. Most likely a box of chocolates. Who doesn't like chocolate?

Her. She doesn't like chocolate. At least, she won't like the chocolates you buy her.

She'll prefer milk, over the dark you bought. Or white, over the dark you bought. Or cream-filled, over the raspberry-filled you bought. Or See's, over the Godiva you bought.

It will not be good enough.

But I agree, you should still just do it. A card and a nice box of chocolates.....and be done.

[abitbroken]

Her. She doesn't like chocolate. At least, she won't like the chocolates you buy her.

She'll prefer milk, over the dark you bought. Or white, over the dark you bought. Or cream-filled, over the raspberry-filled you bought. Or See's, over the Godiva you bought.

It will not be good enough.

But I agree, you should still just do it. A card and a nice box of chocolates.....and be done.

Ask their mother for a suggestion.

[SherrySher]

Lol, LHgirl...I think you're starting to understand my situation..

And yes, I will ask the mom.

[LHGirl]

Ask their mother for a suggestion.

I was being sarcastic.

I wouldn't ask anyone. A gift is something you give because you want to. No one should need to be polled to make sure her little world doesn't come crashing down because she receives the "wrong" gift.

I think a card and a box of chocolates is a perfect gift for her.

If she complains, so be it. You are still the nice, high-road person here.