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Thread: Partner's sister is a nightmare

  1. #11
    Forum Supporter ~Seraphim ~'s Avatar
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    Originally Posted by SherrySher
    Oh, Seraphim I can so relate! I am right there with you!

    It is a very tough thing to swallow and I'd love to tell her what I think but right now isn't the time and no doubt it will be futile.
    Absolutely. I am bidding my time too. But ya know, karma is a bytch and she’s a comin sooner than they think.

  2. #12
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    Originally Posted by melancholy123
    My husband's sister is a liar and full of fanciful stories about all sorts of things. She's known as the family liar and to be full of BS. People just seem to let her rant and basically ignore her wacky comments. I had a tough time at first with her because she told some real whopper lies to family members about me and I'd never had anyone do that to me before. She used to tell the relatives that my hubby would phone her and ask her advice about how to get rid of me! This was not true, he didnt want to break up with me. She's got a few screws loose and I think people just let her carry on as she does because they know she's not all there.

    So how did I deal with it? I learned to ignore her. I learned to not let her get to me. I avoid her at all costs. We dont live near her so no chance of running into her anywhere.

    Somehow you have to accept she is what she is, you cant change her. The only person you control is youself so you figure out how to deal with her and then do it. Dont let her get to you. Yes it's hard but there's no other choice.
    I am with Mel.

    Sherry, it won't change. The one thing I would stop doing, is reaching out to her. Deal with her when you see her, and that's it.

    Listen to the bf, No gifts.

  3. #13
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    I think you are just going to have to accept that you two won't become friends who pal around and lunch together. It would be nice, but she doesn't want that.

    Ignore her. The more attention you give it, and her, the worse it will be for her. She isn't likely going to change, and neither is her dynamic with your boyfriend. That's up to them to figure out.

    Choose your battles, is all. It's frustrating, but there's really nothing more you can do.

  4. #14
    Platinum Member SherrySher's Avatar
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    Thanks guys. This is literally the first time I have encountered this kind of thing. I had patience with it the first few months, after all, I am new, she wasn't used to her brother having a partner and so on.
    But over a year later and she's still acting snitty, bullying and childish..it really grates me.

    I don't understand some people, I mean, life is hard enough, why make things miserable when there is no need? It really brings upset where it's not needed.

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  6. #15
    Platinum Member SherrySher's Avatar
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    Re: Xmas.....does she live nearby? Will you be spending Xmas with his family, and will you see her?
    No, we're not spending christmas together but I suggested at least an exchange of small gifts. Bf said no as he said she won't appreciate it and will criticize whatever I get.
    Basically it would be a waste of time. He said she does this with the majority of the presents she receives.

    How miserable can one person be? I'd be grateful if I was even thought of.

  7. #16
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    In this case, it's better to pull back and just be cordial. Stop messaging her. There is no reason you need to befriend a bf's sister. Don't waste time trying to make anyone like you. Unfortunately your bf is correct. She won't change.
    Originally Posted by SherrySher
    Her and my partner as well talk constantly and it leaves me feeling out in the cold. I've spoken to my partner about this and he has no idea how to change this.

  8. #17
    Platinum Member SherrySher's Avatar
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    I wish it were that easy, Wiseman, truly.

    Without going into detail, this woman affects my bf's life more than you know. It has caused issues between us more than once. She seems to love drama and loves to cause upsets.
    I do stay away from her and the messages have been few and far between. I sent a few to try to make things a bit better more for my bf's sake as he was complaining about his sister and why things can't go well. It's out of my hands though.

    I know she won't change I really do wish more than anything that bf would stand up to her. He never does. The dynamic is more than messed up.

    It's difficult to give the whole scope of the picture without being too personal.
    I guess my only option is to accept, if I want to be with him, but it sure is a bitter pill to swallow. She makes things ugly when they don't need to be.

  9. #18
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Unfortunately this is his issue and his battle. Not much you can do about a lifetime of whatever family dynamic they have. Save yourself the headaches and let them carry on. Remove yourself from the equation.

    If he starts complaining about it, change the subject or be neutral/indifferent such as "it is what it is", "oh", etc. Do not take sides or try to "rescue" him from her. That is what is causing all the unnecessary headaches.
    Originally Posted by SherrySher
    I sent a few to try to make things a bit better more for my bf's sake as he was complaining about his sister and why things can't go well. I really do wish more than anything that bf would stand up to her. He never does.

  10. #19
    Platinum Member SherrySher's Avatar
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    I truly do wished it were that easy.

    I have two options, accept things how they are or leave him.

    For now though, I needed to rant.

  11. #20
    Platinum Member itsallgrand's Avatar
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    Has he told you much about how this dynamic with his sister came about?
    Any insight on his part as to why he lets her walk over him and any desire to change that?

    I get the need to vent sometimes. I don't even want to post about my bfs sister as I might not stop once I start lol. She's never been mean to me but I bite my tongue and am on absolute best behaviour when it comes to her. My bf does have insight into it though but it's hard watching or hearing about sometimes.

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