Originally Posted by Something
I apologize in advance if this is going to be long, but if you're ready to read all this then prepare for a lot of "What? Wait what???". I'm a 19 years old female, in a "relationship" with a 25 years old man. I say "relationship", but it is not official cause we are online dating, so until we meet up and (to what we have planned) start living together, only then will we officially start dating. A little information about me before we dig in deeper, I'm a person with Daddy issues. My dad abused me physically and mentally ever since I can remember (3-4 years old till this day), and as an addition he DESPISES females, thinks of us as lower beings and just not something worth investing into, I say abuses mentally and I mean from A to Z you name it, he said all the worst things possible to a child. You're nothing, you're trash, moment you set foot outside of this house I will not see you ever again in my life and trust me, he did not joke when he said these things. I won't go into details about the horrendous things he did to me, but all I will say is I've never seen him as a father figure from childhood, but an enemy I have to satisfy by being a good and obedient girl so I don't get hit or yelled at, which is how my personality got formed in the end.

I've never had an IRL relationship, but I've had PLENTY of online relationships. I'm still a virgin in every aspect you can think of, it has never gone any further with any man other than hugs/holding hands. I've felt sick to my stomach for letting another man just hold me and hug me, to the point where I've just stopped attempting to allow things to advance any further. I felt disgusted and dirty. I think it's cause when I was like 5-6, my sister (12) dragged me to our parents' bedroom and told me to get naked, got on top of me and started to... touch me, not as far as you'd think cause we were still children, I absolutely had no idea what she was doing but that's something that scarred me and I believe that's the reason why, but I'm not certain. Either way, this is why I've never had an IRL relationship and I always had online ones, they just made me feel more comfortable just talking with someone, I never had to fear about things getting physical.

Here's the main reason why I've come to seek help. I've been online dating this 25 years old man for 1 year and a little over 2 months. As a girl who has Daddy issues, and he, a boy who likes those type of girls, our relationship is that of a sub/dom. I'm his "little girl" and he's my "Daddy" (gosh it feels weird typing this honestly). Before you judge me, in my defense I'm gonna say that this is the way I was raised, obeying and being good, I need it now. I need someone to put rules on me, I need someone to restrict me from doing things, I need to be submissive towards my partner. From a child who grew up in a battle zone, I've become an adult who sexually needs to satisfy that part of me. And I kid you not, I've become addicted to it. I'd do anything he orders me to do, I'm committed and honest with him, more than I should be in fact. As an addition, I wanna let you know that we have rules, rules which of course he set up.
1. I MUST ask him for permission to go to sleep and if he permits it, I MUST say "Good night Daddy ♡" otherwise if I don't, I won't go to sleep that night as a form of "punishment"
2. If I wish to go out, I must first ask him for permission, tell him with who, where, for how long will I be there, for him to make further decisions
3. If we're in an argument, when he simply types "apologize" I must say "I'm sorry Daddy" cause if I don't, oh my god you don't wanna know what happens.
I read to this^ point, remaining open-minded to the sub-dom aspect (I am as well, at least sexually), before concluding NO this is not sub/dom (at least not how I know it to be) - this is flat out mental and emotional abuse!

Course you went on to detail further, wherein confirming my original conclusion that this is, in fact, mental/emotional abuse.

Thank GOD you are long distance and have never met him. Please be thankful for that, I shudder to think what your life would be like if you had.

I am not downplaying how emotionally attached you are, given you have not met in person, but I assure you it would be 100 times worse if you had.

I really don't care about his history (nor should you!), I didn't even read that part tbh, it's IRRELEVANT.

What is relevant is that he is an emotional abuser, and most likely a physical abuser as well, and you need to muster up all the strength you can, and block delete. Hell, change your phone number if you have to, you NEED to get away from this monster! Immediately.

Do you have friends you can lean on, if not look into support groups in your area. Talk to your school counselor, she may be able to recommend. A good therapist as well.

There is nothing to be ashamed of, or embarrassed about, please extricate these thoughts from your consciousness.

And lastly I applaud you for recognizing this is not healthy behavior and creating this thread, I realize that must have been difficult, so pat yourself on the back for that one - it was the first step!

Keep going and promise us you will block and delete this sad, pathetic excuse for a man and NEVER speak to him again!