anonimfake Posted September 8, 2018 Share Posted September 8, 2018 SO basically I f***ed up... I met my current GF just after Christmas 2017, and as I was basically very busy with college and a full time job I just wanted a casual relationship. Shortly before I went on a week long trip to a wedding on March, se told me she loved me. On this trip I decided that, although I really liked her I would break up since I didnt feel as strong as her and still didn´t want a really serious relationship. In the wedding I kissed a girl and made my mind about breaking up. Seeing her again after the trip I started falling for her harder and harder, very fast, to the point that I was deep in love a few weeks after and really wanted a serious relationship. Yesterday we were talking about the wedding ( I hadn´t thought about that kiss for a long time) and remembering the kiss made me feel really wierd. She noticed and I told her about it. She seems that she is trying to forgive me, but is deeply hurt. I feel terrible and I´m having a really hard time treating her normally, cause I feel horrible each time I feel she is thinking about it, I also don´t want her to feel like I dont care about her feelings or that I´m downplaying the situation. Any help with suggestions about dealing with this feelings (mine and hers) would be very appreciated. Link to comment
smackie9 Posted September 8, 2018 Share Posted September 8, 2018 Hold up here......did you tell her you loved her back even tho you didn't really? We can do real time messaging on fb if you wish. Link to comment
DanZee Posted September 8, 2018 Share Posted September 8, 2018 When you said you kissed a girl, are you talking about a make-out session? And you felt this was a good time to confess to her about it? Wow, that really is a stupid thing to do. Were you subconsciously trying to break up with her or ruin your relationship? If you want to salvage this relationship you should be buying her cards, and flowers, and gifts of jewelry and anything you can think of and begging her to take you back. This is not the time to play it cool unless you don't care. You need to prove to her you love her or just let her go. Your choice. Link to comment
fwdthinker Posted September 9, 2018 Share Posted September 9, 2018 I think telling her the truth as you have here about how your feelings intensified and progressed is the best you can do. You were honest; it's real, and is actually common for men when they are in the early stages of a relationship. There's a book called Mars and Venus on a Date that explains this in great detail. The good thing about the book is it really could give you both perspective on how men and women approach a new relationship and how feelings develop. And it might help your girlfriend to forgive this. I'm not sure how deeply you were involved back then but it's definitely worth reading. Link to comment
SherrySher Posted September 9, 2018 Share Posted September 9, 2018 I think you've got a pretty deep hole to dig yourself out of. She probably is already feeling bad due to the fact that you told her at one time she felt more for you than you did her. Then you add insult to injury and kiss on another girl. Truth be told, I don't know that there is much chance for this to get back on track like you want it to. I bet she is feeling pretty bad and no doubt this has tarnished her self esteem. All you can do is keep reminding her how you feel and that you were more than wrong on the things you did and hope for the best. Link to comment
Pleasedonot5 Posted September 9, 2018 Share Posted September 9, 2018 She is forgiving you for what, exactly? Being single and kissing someone else? And then coming back? You said you were broken up? Link to comment
Annia Posted September 9, 2018 Share Posted September 9, 2018 But weren't you on a casual relationship when you kissed that girl? Link to comment
Wiseman2 Posted September 9, 2018 Share Posted September 9, 2018 Unfortunately you sound ambivalent about her.😕 That part is worse than whatever happened at this wedding. It sounds like you are trying to keep your distance by telling her this so she leaves. I just wanted a casual relationship. I decided that, although I really liked her I would break up since I didnt feel as strong as her I kissed a girl and made my mind about breaking up. I told her about it.. Link to comment
catfeeder Posted September 9, 2018 Share Posted September 9, 2018 I was deep in love a few weeks after and really wanted a serious relationship. Yesterday we were talking about the wedding ( I hadn´t thought about that kiss for a long time) and remembering the kiss made me feel really wierd. She noticed and I told her about it. Naaah, you didn't want the relationship, or you wouldn't have told her this. Link to comment
anonimfake Posted September 10, 2018 Author Share Posted September 10, 2018 Thanks to everyone here. I've read a couple of people saying I wanted to break up by telling her or that it was a stupid thing to so regardless. But the fact is she knew something was up when the topic of the wedding came up, and not telling her would have required a lot of lying from my part. I want to move forward with this girl and not lie to her. We have talked about our feelings again, she doesnt want us to break up and neither do I. Things look a little bit better now that both of us have had some time to think. Link to comment
anonimfake Posted September 10, 2018 Author Share Posted September 10, 2018 Thanks @smackie9, I apreciate it but it looks like things are going a little bit better already :) Link to comment
Pleasedonot5 Posted September 10, 2018 Share Posted September 10, 2018 That's good to hear. Are you exclusive going forward? Link to comment
anonimfake Posted September 11, 2018 Author Share Posted September 11, 2018 Yeah, of course, there is no way I'm doing that to her again. The way she is handling this, and the love she is showing me, is making me fall even harder for her. I'm a very lucky guy, and I'll be working hard to make her happy :) Link to comment
Pleasedonot5 Posted September 11, 2018 Share Posted September 11, 2018 I'm glad you made that realization. You'll be tempted again in the future, it's human nature, so think about what you will do to avoid it next time. Link to comment
anonimfake Posted March 5, 2019 Author Share Posted March 5, 2019 We are still together, thanks for the help. Link to comment
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