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Thread: I cheated on my gf

  1. #1
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    I cheated on my gf

    SO basically I f***ed up... I met my current GF just after Christmas 2017, and as I was basically very busy with college and a full time job I just wanted a casual relationship. Shortly before I went on a week long trip to a wedding on March, se told me she loved me. On this trip I decided that, although I really liked her I would break up since I didnt feel as strong as her and still didnīt want a really serious relationship. In the wedding I kissed a girl and made my mind about breaking up.

    Seeing her again after the trip I started falling for her harder and harder, very fast, to the point that I was deep in love a few weeks after and really wanted a serious relationship. Yesterday we were talking about the wedding ( I hadnīt thought about that kiss for a long time) and remembering the kiss made me feel really wierd. She noticed and I told her about it.
    She seems that she is trying to forgive me, but is deeply hurt. I feel terrible and Iīm having a really hard time treating her normally, cause I feel horrible each time I feel she is thinking about it, I also donīt want her to feel like I dont care about her feelings or that Iīm downplaying the situation.

    Any help with suggestions about dealing with this feelings (mine and hers) would be very appreciated.

  2. #2
    Gold Member smackie9's Avatar
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    Hold up here......did you tell her you loved her back even tho you didn't really?


    We can do real time messaging on fb if you wish.

  3. #3
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    When you said you kissed a girl, are you talking about a make-out session? And you felt this was a good time to confess to her about it? Wow, that really is a stupid thing to do. Were you subconsciously trying to break up with her or ruin your relationship?

    If you want to salvage this relationship you should be buying her cards, and flowers, and gifts of jewelry and anything you can think of and begging her to take you back. This is not the time to play it cool unless you don't care. You need to prove to her you love her or just let her go. Your choice.

  4. #4
    Silver Member fwdthinker's Avatar
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    I think telling her the truth as you have here about how your feelings intensified and progressed is the best you can do. You were honest; it's real, and is actually common for men when they are in the early stages of a relationship. There's a book called Mars and Venus on a Date that explains this in great detail. The good thing about the book is it really could give you both perspective on how men and women approach a new relationship and how feelings develop. And it might help your girlfriend to forgive this. I'm not sure how deeply you were involved back then but it's definitely worth reading.

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  6. #5
    Platinum Member SherrySher's Avatar
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    I think you've got a pretty deep hole to dig yourself out of. She probably is already feeling bad due to the fact that you told her at one time she felt more for you than you did her.
    Then you add insult to injury and kiss on another girl.

    Truth be told, I don't know that there is much chance for this to get back on track like you want it to. I bet she is feeling pretty bad and no doubt this has tarnished her self esteem.

    All you can do is keep reminding her how you feel and that you were more than wrong on the things you did and hope for the best.

  7. #6
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    She is forgiving you for what, exactly? Being single and kissing someone else? And then coming back? You said you were broken up?

  8. #7
    Platinum Member Annia's Avatar
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    But weren't you on a casual relationship when you kissed that girl?

  9. #8
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Unfortunately you sound ambivalent about her.😕 That part is worse than whatever happened at this wedding. It sounds like you are trying to keep your distance by telling her this so she leaves.
    Originally Posted by anonimfake
    I just wanted a casual relationship.
    I decided that, although I really liked her I would break up since I didnt feel as strong as her
    I kissed a girl and made my mind about breaking up.
    I told her about it..

  10. #9
    Platinum Member catfeeder's Avatar
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    I was deep in love a few weeks after and really wanted a serious relationship. Yesterday we were talking about the wedding ( I hadnīt thought about that kiss for a long time) and remembering the kiss made me feel really wierd. She noticed and I told her about it.
    Naaah, you didn't want the relationship, or you wouldn't have told her this.

  11. #10
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    Thanks to everyone here. I've read a couple of people saying I wanted to break up by telling her or that it was a stupid thing to so regardless. But the fact is she knew something was up when the topic of the wedding came up, and not telling her would have required a lot of lying from my part. I want to move forward with this girl and not lie to her.

    We have talked about our feelings again, she doesnt want us to break up and neither do I. Things look a little bit better now that both of us have had some time to think.

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