We Became Very Close And Now She Is Ignoring Me...

Hey guys and girls, hope we are all well and making the most of the sunshine... If you have it?! ;-)

So to put the record straight, me and a girl from work have become very close. To a degree of talking constantly for the past 6 weeks... whether that be calling, texting or meeting in person. She would always confide in me, check to see how I was and was the first girl I've actually connected with and understands me vice versa... always caring and we have had many great laughs. The furthest physical contact when was hugs... I didn't want to overstep the boundaries as she's fairly insecure and is scared of getting hurt. So I've been taking things uber slow...

Last week, we both said we miss each other over message as we hadn't seen each other or spoke to each other for a few days.... then the next day when I saw her at work, she was a completely different person. She was down, upset and depressed. Also wouldn't say a word to me and I said to her I understand if this is how she feels and I won't pressure her to tell me what's bothering her but I'm here for you. All she said later on that day in a message was 'you haven't done anything wrong xxx'

So I thought I'd give her space... the only thing I done was message her a different good morning gif to let her know I was thinking of her. Her friends have told me when she is depressed she isolates herself from everyone... A couple of days later, she totally ignored the fact she had been upset and messaged me saying work had been busy and she didn't want to message me as I had moved into my sister's and she is worried she may look through my phone... She didn't get on with my sister before when they worked together.... so I reassured her everything was ok and I understood if this is how she felt... when I saw her in work that evening, she said about me being in my period hahaha... I just laughed it off and said it's that time of the month... the next day I looked back at the message and it seemed fine but I could see how it could have come across a tad rough... text can be deceiving... I messaged her apologising if it came across that way... She replied with it was okay and not to worry about it...

Since then, I have been having more time for myself and giving her space... my head is in a great place now.... but we don't message much like we used to. She went through a phase of liking all my posts and if I didn't like hers, she would wonder why? I explained it's because my life doesn't revolve around social media and not to take it to heart...

We can go days without messaging.... and then when I see her at work... She sort of shys away when I say hi and very nervously under her breath says hi back... other than that, she doesn't really talk in person.... I saw her one on one today as we had to walk past each other... nobody else was around and we both looked each other in the eye as we walked past each other... we both tried to remain serious and not laugh.... I couldn't help it in the end and she started scratching the side of her neck... I joked about it and said did I have something on my neck that she was trying to point out hence the sudden scratch???

In the meantime where I'm at my sister's, which is only temporary as I assured this girl... She has started hanging round with someone I know... he's a complete tool and she made a point of talking to him in front of me and he playfully grabbed hold of her... I didn't react as I don't do jealousy... I'm a secure and confident person so games really don't wash with me... I can't help but think she is trying to get me back with making me jealous with this guy while I'm staying at my sister's.... and she knows when I'm at my sister's as she lives in the same area so always looks out for my car... She even made a point when we first started talking of asking who I was out with all the time and why I was going on dates etc...

I do not know what is going on in her head... we both really like each other... we've always had chemistry... I get nervous normally around her and she does similarly too... It's knowing where to go from here.... from constantly talking and showing affection.... to suddenly no texting but when we see each other, we nervously say hi and then we just stare at each other the whole time...

Have you asked her out? Have you told her you like her? Maybe she was waiting for you to say something. She's staring at you waiting for you to say or do something. When she was down, did you try to cheer her up. No, you said you gave her space. You made the wrong move, and now she's flirting with someone else. Sounds like you missed your chance. Too bad. She seems like a nice girl.

Have you asked her out? Have you told her you like her? Maybe she was waiting for you to say something. She's staring at you waiting for you to say or do something. When she was down, did you try to cheer her up. No, you said you gave her space. You made the wrong move, and now she's flirting with someone else. Sounds like you missed your chance. Too bad. She seems like a nice girl.

^^ Stole my words.

6 weeks and it never occured to you to ask her out.

I am not surprised she moved on to someone else.

Her depressed mood was that of probably wondering why you weren't interested enough to ask her out on a proper date.

You gave her some space because of her being down when instead you should tried to move closer, not back off and ask the girl out.

Why didn't you ask her out?

I don't know what a sudden neck-scratch has anything to do with it, but it seems pretty clear she stopped talking to you as much because she is interested in someone else now and you never appeared to make a move on her. So, she found another guy who apparently did.

As the others have asked, why did you not ask her on a date?

I asked her out a few weeks ago and she just said 'we'll see' and didn't say anymore about it. So I left it at that. But we still continued to laugh and talk. When she was depressed that day, I did talk with her in person and give her a cuddle but she just wanted to keep herself to herself. Having since writing this status, last night she loved my photos again... I'm scared of getting hurt myself and I don't want to think that I could ruin anything by saying how I truly feel.

And another thing, if she isn't replying to messaged, I wasn't gonna bombard her with message after message.

If she really liked you she would have accepted the invitation to go out with you and not said "we'll see". She seems like hard work and relationships should not be this hard especially if you both genuinely like each other. If you keep perusing this girl she is going to give you a lot of heart ache. Move on to someone else, maybe this isn't the right time for you to be with her. Be nice but stop making an effort with her. Best of luck!

Unfortunately it sounds like she just wants to be friends. This may be because you work together or she is interested in/with someone else or she simply sees you as a friend. Stop all the kissy huggy contact and especially stop all the contact outside of work. At this point she treats you like a male-girlfriend, squarely in the friendzone. You need to pull way back on this.

me and a girl from work have become very close. To a degree of talking constantly for the past 6 weeks... whether that be calling, texting or meeting in person. She would always confide in me

Best to not date co-workers. Most new relationships fizzle out, and then you have the awkwardness of see your ex every day at work.

Don't date people with emotional baggage. If a person isn't ready to date at a normal pace, they shouldn't be dating. You don't get through life without being hurt, over and over. It's reality. If a person puts barriers up, it's ridiculous because they won't let anyone in their life, and then will live a lifetime of loneliness.

The third red flag is that it sounds like she isn't being treated for depression. My ex husband isolated himself in his depression. From my experience, I'd tell others to NEVER date a person who fails to get treatment for depression. What you have to deal with in that partner is upsetting, frustrating, and pure misery.

Perhaps you like pursuing someone who is a challenge, but it does you no good. As a woman, if I was truly interested in someone, I'd never say "we'll see" when he asked me out.

Time to start treating her like any other co-worker and move on from your crush. If she then ups the texting because she sees you withdrawing and liked the ego boost of the attention, let her know that since she's not interested in dating you, that you two should probably lose each other's number because it'll help you get over your crush.

In the future, if you're into a girl, I'd ask her out within a few weeks of major communication between the two of you. That way, you can get your answer early on if she's into you too, without wasting time on someone who just isn't that into you. Good luck.

I think she just isn't interested the way you hoped, and she's possibly started seeing someone else.

I would let this one go.

I understand what all of you are saying. When we first started talking, it was constant. I did ask her out in the first few weeks but all she said was we'll see. Since then, as time has gone one, I've given her space and not messaged her as much. This made her message me more and try harder. And now suddenly nothing... I text her yesterday in a bantery way about liking her. Wasn't creepy or pressurising at all. This is not how I go about my business. It's always light hearted with an edge of seriousness. Haven't heard from her yet... But haven't really spoke much lately... just had the frequent love/like reactions to posts... I'm just going to play things cool and not bring it up anymore... what will be will be...