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Thread: Long distance relationship

  1. #1

    Long distance relationship

    Hi everyone, I am looking for advice for my long distance relationship. I've met my girlfriend seven years ago. No one knows that I have same sex relationship, my family doesnt approve that. I live in North America and she lives in South. She came on vacation first time and went back to her country where she lives and works, and she would never live in my country.She asked me to move with her, first I went one month for vacation, so we can see if we get along, if I can live there. It's a different language which I am learning. I came back in my country continue working and we continued communicating as long distance relationship and I said that I will go back. Than after 5-6 months, I asked her if she thinks the idea of cover up for my family with her friend or cousin(boy) is ok, no it wasn't,I would do anything for love, she got angry and told me she is dating her ex, now her friend. After three-four months we started talking and became couple again and I went there.In the time we spend together(fisical presence) we had some misunderstandings and fights and miscomunication from my side too, she wasn't very nice in front of other people, saying that she has to do everything, from paying bills, drive, translate for me and my problem is that she is helping all the time and is in friend relationship with her ex girlfriends two or three. Having souvenirs, things from them, and is showing them, having pictures, some doesnt showing to me that might upset me and she says those are meaningless things for her. I went five times by now for month or month and a half. She says that in future she would like to see them going out without me because those are her friends and that in time I will find friends there too. Shouldnt the welcome part, respect be different?

  2. #2
    Platinum Member
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    Well, I think you're writing here because you know there's something wrong with this relationship. I'm guessing the fights and miscommunications you've talked about is really about her being controlling and manipulative. Also it seems like you're just a side show in your girlfriend's three-ring circus. It's time for you to move on. And the sad thing is that she might not even notice you're gone.

    Find a nice girl locally. Use the Internet only to find someone who lives close to you, not in another state, country or continent. You don't need this drama or the heartache this girl is inflicting on you. Move on and be happy.

  3. #3
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Do you live with your parents? Is there a reason their disapproval would adversely affect you? It sounds like a LDR is your solution to being hidden about all this.

    Is she out in the open? Is that where conflicts lie in addition to the usual conflicts of extreme LDRs and culture differences.
    Originally Posted by Butterfly42
    No one knows that I have same sex relationship, my family doesnt approve that. Than after 5-6 months, I asked her if she thinks the idea of cover up for my family with her friend or cousin(boy) is ok

  4. #4
    Thank you so much for the advices, it is really not easy to go through this alone. I believed that we could make it good love relationship.
    I do not live with my parents, I just wanted to be accepted by them as a person not defined only by my sexual orientation.
    She is out in the open, we are different in that too.

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