A Proper Therapy Session ?

So, I did my first assessment with my art therapist the other day, but I feel so stupid and horrible.

The session started with an instruction and because it's an art therapy session, there are a lot of drawing stuff in the room. The therapist told me that I can do anything with all the stuff while having the session, and to stick to 3 rules : not to hurt me, the therapist, and the room. So I nod.

because I'm scared of what I could do with all the other stuff, I decided to take a piece of paper, and start folding them while I the therapist explaining another stuff about what should I feel about the session -BUT

Instead of actually discussing what am I feeling or something like that, I started crying as soon as I fold the paper into smaller piece and even cried more when she told me not to stop folding the paper and saying stuff about why i fold the paper. It was a total mess. I was so embarrassed after the session ended.

it's even more embarrassing for me, because, before I met the therapist, I actually talked with my campus counselor (who recommended me to meet this therapist) and exactly did the same mf thing :( i cried as soon as I need to talk. I cried both times until my eyes hurt I couldn't lift my face when I left the building...

IS there actually something I can do about it? like, I know I should be looking for solution for whatever's wrong with me, but I couldn't say anything related to the problem, what is it that I should do the next time I meet my therapist? I don't want to cry my tears out again

Get a complete physical from a doctor and a referral to a psychiatrist and licensed psychologist. Talk, art or whatever therapy obviously is not working for the type of issues you are having.

I think you should let it all out. This is what therapy is all about. Let the therapist ask you questions and think about why you are crying. You told us last March that you feel you're not good enough. Tell the therapist this. I'm sure this is not the first time someone has broken down during a therapy session. There's nothing to be embarrassed about. Have the therapist examine your feelings of why you don't feel good enough. Do your parents expect too much from you? Maybe you need a break from school, like a gap year or something. And if you can't say this during the session, write it down in a note in advance and hand this to the therapist when you come in. And if you don't get any satisfaction from this, maybe you need a real therapist instead of art therapy.

That's kind of the point of therapy, no? You are supposed to let it all out, whatever is pent up inside of you. It's your safe space to do so and just let loose. I mean if it takes you three, five, ten, even twenty sessions of just bursting into crying before you can finally start speaking and verbalizing all that is bothering you, that's what therapy is for. Nothing at all wrong with that and exactly what therapy is for. Nothing to be embarrassed about because that's what you are supposed to do. Therapy is for you to let it all out. It's not about you managing appearances. It's where you show up in sweats and with a box of tissues or two if that's what you need.

And if you don't get any satisfaction from this, maybe you need a real therapist instead of art therapy.

DanZee, do you mean a talk therapist when you say "a real therapist"?

Art therapy is especially useful for individuals who have a difficult time verbally expressing themselves, and it sounds to me like you fit in that category. Crying during a therapy session is nothing to be ashamed about, but feeling shame and embarassment at any point in the therapy process is completely normal.

Therapy is work on the self that requires you to try to embrace a certain level of discomfort. There are many different approaches to psychotherapy, but a cornerstone of all methods is that feeling your emotions in a full and natural way tends to promote mental health. In time, your sessions may move toward more stability and you will build a therapeutic relationship of trust that will hopefully lessen some of the feelings of shame you are experiencing.

Please consider sticking with it a bit longer. Therapy is not supposed to cure you over night.

So, I did my first assessment with my art therapist the other day, but I feel so stupid and horrible.

 

The session started with an instruction and because it's an art therapy session, there are a lot of drawing stuff in the room. The therapist told me that I can do anything with all the stuff while having the session, and to stick to 3 rules : not to hurt me, the therapist, and the room. So I nod.

because I'm scared of what I could do with all the other stuff, I decided to take a piece of paper, and start folding them while I the therapist explaining another stuff about what should I feel about the session -BUT

Instead of actually discussing what am I feeling or something like that, I started crying as soon as I fold the paper into smaller piece and even cried more when she told me not to stop folding the paper and saying stuff about why i fold the paper. It was a total mess. I was so embarrassed after the session ended.

 

it's even more embarrassing for me, because, before I met the therapist, I actually talked with my campus counselor (who recommended me to meet this therapist) and exactly did the same mf thing :( i cried as soon as I need to talk. I cried both times until my eyes hurt I couldn't lift my face when I left the building...

 

IS there actually something I can do about it? like, I know I should be looking for solution for whatever's wrong with me, but I couldn't say anything related to the problem, what is it that I should do the next time I meet my therapist? I don't want to cry my tears out again

Wow, actually I think that is quite a breakthrough. Those triggers start to show you where the wounds are, and then you start to find out what needs to heal. My personal opinion: The best thing you can do about it is be brave and go forth. Have some trust in the process.

thank you everyone for the advice :) and to clear some of the assumption,

the therapist is a real psychologist who uses art therapy as their method, and I was recommended to them because the counselor asked me what my hobby is and it's knitting (and I told her too that I knit mostly to calm myself but now i couldn't) , and that makes me as "someone who is more comfortable with making stuff when i'm with myself" (i heard this from the therapist). but really, it still bothers me that I can't really grasp whatever happened during that first assessment because of all the crying and i hope i can trust the therapist more, and do better in the next assessment... and again, thank you for all the support :)

thank you everyone for the advice :) and to clear some of the assumption,

 

the therapist is a real psychologist who uses art therapy as their method, and I was recommended to them because the counselor asked me what my hobby is and it's knitting (and I told her too that I knit mostly to calm myself but now i couldn't) , and that makes me as "someone who is more comfortable with making stuff when i'm with myself" (i heard this from the therapist). but really, it still bothers me that I can't really grasp whatever happened during that first assessment because of all the crying and i hope i can trust the therapist more, and do better in the next assessment... and again, thank you for all the support :)

It is very common to cry in therapy. When I did EMDR there were points where I was full on SCREAMING in rage or grief. It is a very humbling experience and that is ok. Hugs.

It is very common to cry in therapy. When I did EMDR there were points where I was full on SCREAMING in rage or grief. It is a very humbling experience and that is ok. Hugs.

thank you, and thank you so much for sharing! :)