I asked her out, she basically said no, then..

So I met this girl for networking purposes a couple months ago. We talked on the phone a few times since for business reasons then, at the end of one call she asked me what my plans were that night and also suggested we keep talking. Later that night she ended up at the same party, already with a group of friends. I said hi and she gave me a hug and a peck on the cheek. We went our separate ways. Then when I left she stared me down and said 'heyyy.' A few days later I texted her and she said she was going on vacation for a few weeks after that. I suggested we grab coffee when she gets back and she enthusiastically said yes and to reconnect when she gets back. So when she got back, I asked her for a coffee date and it took her until the night before I suggested (at 11:30) to give some excuse saying "I'm sorry I have to fly to a meeting." I didn't bother to respond, assuming she wasn't interested and just made up some excuse to say no without saying no.

A few days ago I organized a party which she ended up going to, I did not invite her, she was there with mutual friends (we run in the same oscial circles as you can tell). We ended up sitting at the bar with a mutual friend, eventually he left and it was just the two of us for a few min. We left to go outside and waited for our group to head to another bar. At the other bar we ended up sitting across from each other the whole night. It was like I hadn't even asked her out and nothing was really awkward.

Last night, I saw her again. She was an mc for an event our friends organized. I ended up sitting next to her the whole night, again. This time it was not on purpose and I didn't realize she was sitting there and until she asked if she could. There were points were she was leaning so close to me that we were practically touching each other. This happened a few times. At the end of the event I was talking to my friend who was the main organizer of the event. She came over to us and kind of tickled me on the shoulder trying, to get into the group. When we left she hugged and said "I'm sure I'll see you at some event." (or something to that extent)

So Idk if she's interested or not, because when I asked her out she gave some excuse, but last night was different, she was initiating questions at times. I should mention she's pretty outgoing and confident.

I think she is trying to be friendly, even though she turned down your date.

If she's outgoing and confident, her behaviour with you last night is par for the course. That's how she is. I wouldn't read into it unless she suggests an alternate time to meet for coffee.

A good way to judge if someone is interested in you is the "Brad Pitt Test" (or fill in the latest heartthrob name).

Essentially, you think to yourself what would she do if Brad Pitt were asking her........I don't think she would have declined the night before the arrangement, and even if she had for some genuine reason, she would have proposed an alternative day/date.....because she would be really keen not to miss the opportunity.

Actions always speak louder than words....learn to read them!

Yea I mean she's known to be flaky too. She did something similar to our friend (who's married with kids and has no interest in her) where she took days to respond to him and when she did she had to reschedule. So could just be her flakiness? Idk.

So I assumed by her asking me what my plans were that night and all the interaction last night were signs she was interested but am I wrong? Is she just being nice?

Maybe she's flaky......maybe she's not into you....either way I'd look elsewhere.

Maybe she did have some meeting to fly to. I would give it one more shot and if she declines or doesn't offer to reschedule, I'd leave it alone.

Maybe she did have some meeting to fly to. I would give it one more shot and if she declines or doesn't offer to reschedule, I'd leave it alone.

Highly doubtful. She was posting IG stories showing she was in town that day I suggested.

Highly doubtful. She was posting IG stories showing she was in town that day I suggested.

If she lied about flying out of town as an excuse to avoid meeting you, she is definitely not interested.

It just sounds like she has a very active social and networking life. You're just a friend. Don't overthink it. Have fun with her when you can, but stop trying to get serious about her. Would you have gotten upset if a guy friend blew you off like that? Probably not.

She's not interested, focus your attention elsewhere.

Unfortunately it sounds like she's just being friendly and polite. She doesn't sound interested in one-on-one dating. That may be because she doesn't want awkwardness in this group situation, nothing personal. It may be best to do the same and be polite and friendly but stop asking her out and making it awkward. Just an aside, "coffee dates" are for first meets on dating sites for a quick in-person look-see. Not real dates with someone you already know in person. No one you know in person fairly well would bother with such a low interest, low investment, boring invitation as a "date".

When we left she hugged and said "I'm sure I'll see you at some event." So Idk if she's interested or not, because when I asked her out she gave some excuse

I'm just confused though, I thought those signs from before she left on vacation meant she was interested (asking me what my plans were that night, etc.) then the other night when she touched me on the shoulder..I mean she may not be as interested but she could've been before?

There are no "signs" except she said no to the date and never followed up.

Maybe she's flaky......maybe she's not into you....either way I'd look elsewhere.

Maybe, she's both. i would move on. Don't make any more suggestions. She is not interested.

I'm just confused though, I thought those signs from before she left on vacation meant she was interested (asking me what my plans were that night, etc.) then the other night when she touched me on the shoulder..I mean she may not be as interested but she could've been before?

It honestly sounds like she was just being social with you, OP. Some people are quite conversational and touchy when they engage with others. She appears to be that type.

Your relationship was established over professional reasons, and perhaps she wants to keep it that way, even though you socially intermingle a little bit through mutual friends and interests. She sounds flirty and attracted, but not necessarily interested in taking things to the next level. Perhaps she doesn't want to intermix business and pleasure. Perhaps she doesn't want to create an awkward situation should the two of you not work out romantically when you bump into each other both professionally and personally. Perhaps she's just not that into you. Flirt, sure. Actually date, maybe not. Maybe she has a boyfriend or someone she's already seeing. We don't know, but cancelling because she had to fly out for a meeting and then Instagramming her in-town adventures is not a good sign. She could be ramping up the flirty behavior as a means of getting you to ask her out again, but at this point, it's really hard to judge. She could be flirty as a means of networking. She sounds like she's just very outgoing and a little touchy, which comes across as flirty. I don't know. You could ask her out one last time and let it go if she bails again.