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Thread: How soon is too soon?

  1. #11
    Platinum Member RainyCoast's Avatar
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    I called them! I'm off to the shelter, gotta try and play with them. :))

  2. #12
    Platinum Member journeynow's Avatar
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    I've only fostered the one, who became mine. He was never a shelter dog, and is older, and his temperament and smooth adjustment are what won me over. If I do it again, I'll consider fostering/adopting from someone in Hospice, or fostering/boarding for a deployed service member. I can offer a stable home environment for a dog dealing with uncertainty.

  3. #13
    Platinum Member reinventmyself's Avatar
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    Everyone is different.
    I had to put down my beloved cat last year, which left the 2nd timid cat 'Macy' alone and lost.

    I knew my heart wasn't ready for another cat, but I figured that Macy would benefit from it, so though the timing wasn't ideal I brought home a kitten.
    Macy was not having any part of it. Hiding, hissing. All par for the course when trying to introduce 2 unfamiliar cats. The kitten innocently and desperately wanted to be near her but when it wasn't happening the kitten howled mercilessly any time I was out of sight. No doubt having some separation anxiety.

    So here I am with a miserable cat and an equally miserable kitten and me, crying non stop. It was pretty much a mess and 2 days later I ended up surrendering the kitten which compounded the guilt of having made the decision to euthanize my older cat. When I called the shelter I spoke asked for the woman that helped me. Before I could speak, she said `It's too soon, isn't it?'

    Macy's never quite been the same since but we muddle through.

    Ugh. .I get emotional just recalling it. I was going through a break up at the same time. This all but pretty much broke me.
    My story probably isn't helpful. Sorry.

    I think it's possible. You'll never replace Darko, but you could very well have room in your heart for another dog.
    If is wasn't for trying to assimilate the two cats. . my story might have been different.

  4. #14
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    I think that it would be a great idea to bring a new dog into your home!

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  6. #15
    Platinum Member RainyCoast's Avatar
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    fostering/adopting from someone in Hospice, or fostering/boarding for a deployed service member. I can offer a stable home environment for a dog dealing with uncertainty.
    oh i love that idea! that is brilliant!

    reinvent that's frightening, i'm so sorry it didn't go well! i can imagine introducing a new pet can go in unexpected ways. i love cats myself, but Darko did not, he only liked "his" cat Becky, so i never got another one after she passed. it could've worked, or it could've ended with one harming the other even. he was also very attached, so i didn't want him feeling like he had to compete for attention, though perhaps that was more in my head than a real concern.

    well i went to the shelter to walk dogs...but you know i came home with bonito!

    i spoke to them at length, we all thought it could work out just fine, and they assured me there was no pressure if i find this weekend that it's too much too soon. but no way am i going to, i'm smitten, i'm excited, and i am so grateful he likes me! we cuddled and walked lots. they had so many senior dogs. i feel terrible for them. one, Blu, looked like my Darko. Some are as old as eleven, i know they won't get a home. Unfortunately they were all large breeds, and my problem is two flights of stairs, and my frail constitution. I cannot carry 40 kg up the stairs when they become too much for them, and there's only so much a harness can do. i remembered to bring Darko's big bed, harnesses, leash, big feeding bowls, pain meds and unopened food. with so many seniors, they were happy to take them. Blu and I cuddled a bit, but i couldn't linger around him for too long. he's so much like Darko.

    The little guy is curious and gentle, following me around the apartment and exploring. he picks up anything in sight, so he is showing me what to puppy-proof as we go. any items i don't yet know where i'll put to be out of his reach, i am putting in plastic storage boxes with lids for the night. electrical sockets secured, cables higher than he can reach. he loves Darko's old monkey toy more than the brand new unicorn i got him. tomorrow, if he feels like it, we will try the squeaky toys. he is busy with chewy ones right now. we borrowed a crate and a small kitty bed from the shelter and will shop for his own tomorrow. i have pet pillows and blankets ready, letting him pick his favorite, and try out different spots.

    he is small, and won't shed much, so i'm thinking about not having a no couch rule. why have a rule for rule's sake. i don't mind him on the couch, he sits next to me anytime i sit down, i find that just lovely.

    i did cry. i'm still feeling weepy. and also very happy. she said "you have kissed this dog five times in the five minutes we've been talking. i have to go clean the catio, and he can't come along. you can cry all you want, but you have to look after him for the next thirty minutes. we'll talk later". and poof she was gone and bonito was licking my face and pressed his tiny paw right against my nose and wagged his tail with impressive speed. he showed me around, jumped high for a small pup, then we sat down and he got into my lap.

    he had eyelid surgery because his eyelid was turned inwards. it worked well, he can open and close his eyes fine now, there's some discharge, but it's normal. he might continue to have some eye discharge that isn't a sign of illness, just a trait of the mix of breeds. we have a follow up with his vet next week. he was neutered recently, that went well too, but he did chew on his paw from the stress of it until they made him wear a lampshade. we took the bandage off, and he hasn't tried injuring himself. he let me comb his back a little. when he has adjusted and is relaxed, i'll try cleaning his face. don't want to annoy him today.

    we explored around our building a bit too.

    he is fascinated by the tv, and barked a little at the elephants on screen, and the weather man. i thought the washer would scare him, but the loud spin cycle is in full effect now, and he's unbothered.

    this is good. it's right. i can finally eat. i made myself tea. my big dog is smiling if he is seeing this.

  7. #16
    Bronze Member Chai's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by RainyCoast

    When my dog was saying goodbye, i told him i wish i could keep him forever, but that if he knows of a dog he wants me to take care of, to send him over. I know my "reasoning" could raise eyebrows, but i also know he understood what i said. Here comes the extra irrational part. As i walked out of the clinic for the final time, i noticed the local shelter's minivan parked next to me. A lady, a shelter carer, walked out with a small shelter pup, who ran right over to me, pressing his side against me like Darko used to do. She thought it strange, saying he usually hides under chairs and benches before he gathers the courage to come say hello to humans. I know i could be ascribing meaning that isn't there to coincidences and regular animal behavior, but it doesn't matter, because, for whatever reason, i keep thinking i should take the puppy.

    if i am being an absolute nut, now is your chance to stop me. Do it before i post his impossibly adorable shelter pic, because you'll be screaming take him when you see it.
    Congratulations on your lovely new dog! So exciting :-)

    I hope it does go really well for you, and I think it is a good idea to see how you go this weekend. I don't have a lot of experience with grief, but I expect that it would be quite a process.

    When you told us that story about Darko sending you a new dog friend, I was so sure that he had done that. I do believe that people (or dogs) have a certain 'energy' and even beyond the grave they can bring energy (or things) into our lives.

    Good luck with Bonito! He sounds gorgeous :-)

  8. #17
    Platinum Member RainyCoast's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Chai
    Congratulations on your lovely new dog! So exciting :-)

    I hope it does go really well for you, and I think it is a good idea to see how you go this weekend. I don't have a lot of experience with grief, but I expect that it would be quite a process.

    When you told us that story about Darko sending you a new dog friend, I was so sure that he had done that. I do believe that people (or dogs) have a certain 'energy' and even beyond the grave they can bring energy (or things) into our lives.

    Good luck with Bonito! He sounds gorgeous :-)
    [Register to see the link] he is so cute! he looks a little unkempt, but the shelter hasn't been neglecting him. they only have two ladies working full time, who really have their hands full. the place is nice, and i could tell the animals are very comfortable with them. it's just his discharge that sticks to his face.

    he is so careful around the apartment. and polite, when he picks something up, he first brings it over to me as if to ask whether it's okay to play with. someone taught him "sit" and "wait".

    he might be a bit of a hoarder, he is dragging blankets, pillows and toys and gathering them on a pile. poor thing. maybe he is worried they won't be here tomorrow, he had to share with other dogs.

    his passport says he was born on january the first! a new year's pup!

    you can't even hear his little paws touch the ground, so soft and small.

    I could swear too, that my dog sent him. i can still feel darko's soft ears under my hands, and this little guy's warm body next to me.

  9. #18
    Platinum Member reinventmyself's Avatar
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    Oh. .I got goosebumps reading this. (that's twice today already)
    You are both so lucky to have each other.
    Darko would not want you to be alone.
    Enjoy!

  10. #19
    Platinum Member RainyCoast's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by reinventmyself
    Oh. .I got goosebumps reading this. (that's twice today already)
    You are both so lucky to have each other.
    Darko would not want you to be alone.
    Enjoy!
    i'm crying and laughing! it may sound insane, but it feels good! give macy a good snuggle for me!

  11. #20
    Platinum Member reinventmyself's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by RainyCoast
    i'm crying and laughing! it may sound insane, but it feels good! give macy a good snuggle for me!
    Now you made me cry, darn it.

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