HELP!! My ex boyfriend cheated on his current girlfriend with me...

So me and my ex dated for a year and we've been broken up for almost 2 years. Our relationship is pretty complicated. So... I was his first girlfriend and we had a strong connection. We broke up because I hurt him really bad and we just went our separate ways. When we broke up for a whole year we would have sex and not speak to each other & then we will somehow see each other & not talk to each other etc. we stopped doing this since last year Christmas until now & I texted out of no where in June to see how he was doing. He would delay messages - and recently he called me at 6am & he was already outside my house. (He is a really stubborn guy with a lot of pride by the way - so he have hard time expressing his emotions). When I came out he told me that I hurt him really bad and that I've changed him. He said I was the first person he genuinely cared about but every time he think about our relationship he just wants to part through it. He also said, "you can't just text me out of no where - I never even got a chance to get closure from you and you can't just do that & it'll bring all the feelings back." He also said that I made him really angry (which i don't know why) when I texted him. After our long talk, he stayed over my house. And now we are currently not speaking anymore. BUT I found out that he had a girlfriend... I'm not too sure what I have to do. I do love him but he's not being fair on me and his current girlfriend. I just want to know does he actually miss/love me or he just all in it for the sex? This is driving me insane & I just don't know what to do anymore

The most important thing here is that the situation is a mess. The longer you spend inside a mess, trying to make sense of it, the messier things get.

Sure, he misses you, has feelings. Otherwise he couldn't be outside your door, being all wild-eyed and prideful.

But so what? He also has gf, and the fact that he's also showing up outside your door tells you everything you need to know right now: this is a dude to steer clear from.

This is all just drama. Keep engaging in drama and what do you get? More drama. Drama is not depth, but noise, and it's that noise that is making you "insane."

So if you want to feel sane, it's simple: stop texting him, move on.

What inspired you to text him "out of nowhere"? Did you recently break up with someone or do you feel lonely? He doesn't have much to offer. Why don't you just block and delete him rather than hookup when he has a gf?

he stayed over my house. I found out that he had a girlfriend. he just all in it for the sex?

You are both very immature and selfish.

This does not work. Block and delete him.

The best thing is to not contact him. Every time you do you stir up a lot of emotions, as what happened here. He's been bothered by your text since June and it just built up inside of him until it all came out at 6 in the morning. Let him alone and let him heal. Obviously the relationship meant a lot to him. You hurt him. And you continue to hurt him if you keep contacting him.

BUT I found out that he had a girlfriend... I'm not too sure what I have to do. I do love him but he's not being fair on me and his current girlfriend. I just want to know does he actually miss/love me or he just all in it for the sex? This is driving me insane & I just don't know what to do anymore

Rather than be a willing participant in this circus, why not accept the fact that he has girlfriend? Either way, you're placing yourself in the same line of fire within his aim.

Why not raise your value, and respect yourself?

The most important thing here is that the situation is a mess. The longer you spend inside a mess, trying to make sense of it, the messier things get.

 

Sure, he misses you, has feelings. Otherwise he couldn't be outside your door, being all wild-eyed and prideful.

 

But so what? He also has gf, and the fact that he's also showing up outside your door tells you everything you need to know right now: this is a dude to steer clear from.

 

This is all just drama. Keep engaging in drama and what do you get? More drama. Drama is not depth, but noise, and it's that noise that is making you "insane."

 

So if you want to feel sane, it's simple: stop texting him, move on.

This is great!

Nothing good will come from getting involved with a man that has a girlfriend. Imagine how you would feel if you were his GF? How humiliating that would be for her? And all the secret keeping, hiding, dishonesty and just generally shady behaviors involved in doing such a thing... just thinking about it makes me nauseous.

Does having sex with him stroke your ego so wonderfully that you're willing to lower yourself to be his side piece?

Care to share how you originally "hurt him so badly?" I wonder, since you are capable of helping someone to cheat, if you cheated on him? You'll correct me if I'm wrong, I'm sure.

What did you do that "hurt him really bad" and led to your break up?

So I didn't cheat on him to be exact. I had a crazy ex boyfriend at the time which he tried to ruin me and his relationship. Threatened to come to his house and hit him etc. the only way to calm him down was to just see him and talk to him. But I did not cheat on him but my current ex don't believe me so yeah

Yeah im not going to text him anymore. Or be so available for him. I didn't know he had a girlfriend & no way I would do that anymore. It's just that I've been so heartbroken for so long and I'm just confused why he's doing this to me? Like does he still love me? Or was I just nothing but someone to have sex with..

Yeah im not going to text him anymore. Or be so available for him. I didn't know he had a girlfriend & no way I would do that anymore. It's just that I've been so heartbroken for so long and I'm just confused why he's doing this to me? Like does he still love me? Or was I just nothing but someone to have sex with..

If you love someone would you go get another boyfriend and then have sex with the guy you claim to love secretly?

If not, why would you think he does this because he loves you? Seems like a strange way to treat someone you love, don't you think?

He does not love you. He hooked up with you.

He doesn't love you. Had he really loved you, he would not have slept with you and then gone back to his girlfriend. You two have developed this messed up habit of hooking up from time to time and now he dragged another person to the mix. It takes two to tango though. You can stop this anytime you want by blocking him out of your life. All this drama may feel like "love" to you but in reality it's just an emotional addiction to drama and a gigantic waste of time. It's your choice how long you stay in this mess...

P.S. It sounds like you are drawn to drama queen boyfriends and/or you are one yourself.

No, he doesn't love you. Not anymore, anyway - not in the way needed to sustain a relationship.

Don't contact him again. You both need time to grow and mature, and find healthier ways to conduct yourselves.

Excellent. Delete and block him. He has a gf, so no he doesn't love you. If you are heartbroken creeps like him and the other ex will only make that worse. It's time to delete, block and get rid off all these type of guys in your life. Focus on meeting new decent men.

I didn't know he had a girlfriend & no way I would do that anymore. It's just that I've been so heartbroken for so long. Or was I just nothing but someone to have sex with..

In order to be a decent person you need to tell him that either he tells his girlfriend or you do. It's not fair for her to keep dating someone unaware that he cheated on her. As to you guys...decide what you will if you want to try to work out but...know that someone who is willing to cheat on another girl is much more likely to cheat on you.