Where to turn

I fell in love with this guy I resently had a baby with. My daughter is 1 year 5 months old. My problem is I changed alot for this guy we knew each other for years but officially started dating in feburary 2016..short after I got pregnant. From then my bf started beating me he started dating this younger girl and then started abusing me he beats me every Time we get into an argument about the girl... we have no other issues only this girl he has started seeing like I should just accept it and we would never be in any trouble but I refuse...I've seen him in the girl home while I drive by then my boyfriend takes me no where and when he goes he never invites me ..but he puts my picture online etc he calls me alot in the day but our issue is the girl his dating ...what should I do ? Does he loves Me ? Should I Leave? What should I do

I fell in love with this guy I presently had a baby with. My daughter is 1 year 5 months old. My problem is I changed alot for this guy we knew rack other for years but officially started dating in feburary 2016..short after I got pregnant.

Do you have a question?

He is cheating on you with her, plus he is physically and emotionally abusive. He does not love you.

Why are you exposing your child to this! This is very damaging.

Get out!

I never knew my boyfriend would beat and abuse me ..I have no. Regrets with my child in a woman and I never asked to be abused ..reproduction is from God thank u

You know now. Plus, he is openly cheating on you.

Sorry you're going through this, and I'm really sorry that you've gotten a hostile, unproductive response on here when you've come looking for support and advice.

Regardless of your feelings for him, you need to understand that you're in an abusive situation. This man has ZERO right to treat you as he is, and it's the police who should be dealing with him.

It is time to start taking the steps, and fast, to get you and your daughter out of this situation. Do you have family you can turn to?

Get a restraining order on your boyfriend and go to court to get him to pay child support. If he beats you up any more, call the cops and lock him up.

This guy have been abusive for two years- started with emotional abuse. You were advised to leave him then.

Yes. Call the police and get a protective order. It's time that you looked out for you and your child.

Fair points, but what you said is unnecessary (in how you phrased it). Sounds like eugenics to me.

 

And still completely unhelpful to the OP.

It's my belief and I'm not concerned about whether or not it was helpful to the OP. Was she concerned about the wellfare of her child when she decided to have unprotected sex? Now this poor baby is in the middle of a war.

We are free to voice our own opinions here

If she stays in this situation she'll probably face harsher treatment from DCF when they come to take her baby

Your child's life is in danger by being exposed to her mother's abuse. This affects children for a lifetime.

This post hurts alot..actually in tears so I. Met my boyfriend we were In love i never saw or knew him to be abusive and at the point where he got someone else younger than me he starts abusing me so I not fit to reproduced is it my fault he is abusing me ..I guess I am not a human being especially a woman ... reproduction can be for me even if I'm being abused doesn't mean I'm not a good mom tears I never fail my child I never put her life in danger I'm trying to leave it's bot my fault I never cheated or anything but God is love.

I can't understand this post that well

You don't deserve to be abused, no one deserves that. You are not to blame for that.

But you made the choice to bring a child into this mix. That is where your blame lies.

Do what is right for you and your baby and get out of there. Go to the nearest hospital and tell them about your situation and that you can't go home. They will help you as long as you want to help yourself and your baby.

If you do chose to stay with this guy, be warned Child Protective Services could remove your baby from your home if they suspect abuse

Sorry you're going through this, and I'm really sorry that you've gotten a hostile, unproductive response on here when you've come looking for support and advice.

 

Regardless of your feelings for him, you need to understand that you're in an abusive situation. This man has ZERO right to treat you as he is, and it's the police who should be dealing with him.

 

It is time to start taking the steps, and fast, to get you and your daughter out of this situation. Do you have family you can turn to?

Your opinion the way you address your self if you have a child that child should be taken away from you you sound like some demon please stop. Abusing it's bot help okay

OP, are you on birth control?

IF not, you can walk into any planned parenthood and they will give you birth control for free

But I advice the first thing you do... as in tomorrow....is leave

Aicide, What are you going to do?

This isn't about the other girl. If she walked away tomorrow, he'd find another one, and another one.

And he'll beat you every time he comes home from his girl-of-the-day.

As DissyLu pointed out, this is extremely harmful for your baby to witness.

Abuse is never ok, but if an abused woman chooses to stay in an abusive situation, so be it. Once a child witnesses that abuse, the child must be removed from the situation.

You came here and asked for advice, so here's mine: Please leave. Go to a women's shelter, and please find the help that you and your child need. You will also be provided help in the form of how to protect yourself, i.e. identity change, etc., should he come after you. It's possible that they can help with free legal representation.

Plan your exit carefully, and not without guidance from the women's shelter. They see this all the time, so they are very well-equipped to handle it.

Even if you do decide to stay with a relative or friend, please seek help from the shelter first, as they can help guide you.

Long story short, he will never change. He will get worse. He will most likely come for your child next, and we are urging you to get yourself, and your child, out of this situation.

Apologies if my original post hurt your feelings. No judgement on your situation—only sympathy and hugs. Just telling you my thoughts, which is that now is the time to get you and your daughter to safety. A shelter, a hospital, a family member—something that takes a step to putting this chapter behind you. This guy is no good.

I was once a young child in an abusive home (contrary to one of the poster's assumptions about my naiveté). My mother got out, quick, and I've been grateful since and respect her resolve more and more as I'm adult (now 38).

She loved my father, and they were very much in love, but when it unexpectedly became unhealthy for me (as your situation is for your daughter) she took the steps required to alter things. He was no good for her, no good for me, and we're both better off for the strength my mother showed many years ago.

I would hold off on any government interventions until I've met with people who are experienced in helping Moms with babies find safety without losing their babies to the legal system.

Consider visiting one of the domestic violence hotline sites such as http://domesticviolence.org/.

You don't need to worry about the logistics of where they are located, but do call and ask for a referral to a local helping organization near you. Then make an appointment with the local org for counselling. They will help you to create a plan that best fits with your desires, safety and ability to carry out the plan.

They will help you form a plan AND to carry out the plan. They have the resources and the knowledge. All you need is the willingness to hear them out and consider what they advise. They will NOT force you to do anything against your will.

Head high, and write more if it helps.

Should I Leave?

my bf started beating me he started dating this younger girl and then started abusing me he beats me every Time we get into an argument

You are in danger, but more importantly, your child is in danger. As a parent, there is nothing in the world that would cause me to stay in a situation that was dangerous for my daughter.

And make no mistake. She is in danger. A man who abuses a partner will not stop there. It is only a matter of time before he hurts your daughter. If you don't care enough about yourself, care about her. She is helpless and she needs you to protect her.

Get to a shelter. Do it when he doesn't know about it. Get help and make a plan to leave. Don't delay.

Men like this eventually kill their partners. Don't be a statistic.