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Thread: My boy crossed the rainbow bridge today

  1. #1
    Platinum Member RainyCoast's Avatar
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    My boy crossed the rainbow bridge today

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    Darko, my elderly lab was put down this morning. He lost use of his hind legs friday night. His vet was amazing in keeping him comfortable and giving him a fighting chance. He developed neurological complications this morning and i took him back to the vet's. She said it's time, and i knew it to be true.

    I've been saying goodbye to him these days. He was still very happy and playful until yesterday. I held him and talked to him as the shots were administered. he was resting his head on me like he does when he wants cuddles and kept close eye contact the entire time, listened as i said to go be with Becky, and Bomber, and Grandma, his eyes looked like he was looking at me from beyond.

    I knew he was to go soon, just didn't expect it'd be this soon. He was always acting like a playful young pup.

    I've had intrusive thoughts the past few weeks, of losing him. That a gang of people would break into my apartment and shoot my dog. That he fell several stories down into an underground garage near my mother's old place. And recently nightmares of him playing whilst something terribly heavy and strong was pressing me down and away as i tried to reach for him.

    I'm glad he was an extraordinarily happy dog, spoiled, and loved.

    I don't understand why i am always escorting everybody to the brink of life. I've said goodbye to my entire family, i was 31 when i held my mother's hand as she took her last breath. Darko was the last of my own.

    A conversation i had a couple of months ago has stuck with me since. A client, a cancer survivor herself told me the reason they kept pharaohs so closely tied to death was because one wasn't truly fit to know life, and how to "treat it", unless they'd seen it from the threshold.

    I don't know what i see. Or what i'm asking. Nothing i guess, i just wanted to speak.

  2. #2
    Super Moderator Capricorn3's Avatar
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    I'm so sorry for your loss. Very sad indeed. Hope you feel better soon. (((Hugs)))

  3. #3
    Platinum Member RainyCoast's Avatar
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    Thank you. I know it was the right thing to do at least. He was always so happy. It simply wouldn't have been right to allow for that to change.

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    Platinum Member IAmFCA's Avatar
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    I am sorry for your loss of darko and the many losses this moment brings to mind.

    It seems you have a strength and an intimacy with life that allows you the honor of being other's company in their last earthly moments. It's a responsibility and an honor, and like most knowledge, it gives you power and wisdom. Those are tools and burdens, too; even so, something for which you can be grateful.

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  6. #5
    Platinum Member SherrySher's Avatar
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    Oh my sweet friend, I am so so sorry to hear this. We need a chat soon. I am sending you so many hugs right now. You're not alone. I'm sorry hun, I've been out of commission. I had gall bladder surgery a few weeks back.
    Anyhow, I am coming to chat soon. xxxxxxxx

  7. #6
    Platinum Member RainyCoast's Avatar
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    Thank you IAmFCA. It always turns one upside down, the glimpse of the other side.

    It is partly occupational, i know i will escort many. It is strange, to be walking to and fro, between this side and that, and not really being at home on either, but unusual and curious enough that I perhaps wouldn't have it any other way, because it feels meant to be somehow. I love the ones closest to the threshold most. I am honored, just don't understand that role i suppose.

    I am sorry if it brings other people's losses back too, but hope everyone finds something comfortingly meaningful in the coming and going of life.

  8. #7
    Platinum Member RainyCoast's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by SherrySher
    Oh my sweet friend, I am so so sorry to hear this. We need a chat soon. I am sending you so many hugs right now. You're not alone. I'm sorry hun, I've been out of commission. I had gall bladder surgery a few weeks back.
    Anyhow, I am coming to chat soon. xxxxxxxx
    Please don't worry about me Sher, i am currently at home and will try to extend my absence off work, for other reasons. It is helping me come to terms. Focus on your recovery and rest, I hope you are feeling better and continue to. I will be there when you can chat, thinking about you.

  9. #8
    Platinum Member SherrySher's Avatar
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    Please don't worry about me Sher,
    You know that's not gonna happen. x

  10. #9
    Forum Supporter ~Seraphim ~'s Avatar
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    I am so sorry for the loss of your sweet boy.

  11. #10
    Silver Member Pretzel's Avatar
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    I am so sorry for your loss. Your post made me well up, and my thoughts are with you, though we have obviously never met I have many times benefited your advice.
    I have a dog, my first dog, I've had her for 8 years, an adult rescue though so I'm now just starting to wonder how long left I have with her. I have been surprised at how much they become an extension of you, your shadow. I can't imagine how it feels after they have to leave. I hope that when it's time for mine it's as peaceful as the harmonious scene you describe, and it was absolutely the right thing to do...no pain, no suffering, safe and happy and in your arms.

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