Saying goodbye to ex tonight..

My ex and I are meeting tonight to say goodbye. We divorced in March after a one year separation. In May she sent me an email stating how difficult things were and how sad and sorry she was. She was going to another state for six weeks to see where she wanted to relocate. She has decided to move 600 miles away.

For the past several weeks, she has been making the rounds saying goodbye to all of our friends and my family. However; she has not said a single word to me or informed me of her plans. She has told my family that she wants to see me before she leaves, but would not request such because I never responded to her May email.

Thursday she contacted me asking if I would be willing to meet with her to say goodbye and I agreed to do so. I think in a way she is looking for me to provide that closure that she needs. I know that is not my responsibility, but feel an obligation to help her move on.

Has anyone been this stupid and how did it go?

I have not been in your situation but it just seems like such a bad idea to me. What is to be gained from this saying goodbye thing?

Search on this site for threads written by people who absolutely insisted they needed to meet with their exes for "closure". See how they argued that they'd be "fine!" afterward. Then see the follow up posts to see how "fine" they really were.

From my standpoint, very little to nothing to be gained.

I hear you Boltnrun

You'll laugh, you'll cry, you'll reminisce about old times. She'll leave ... and you'll feel rotten for days. Just wish her a nice life and tell her in a couple of years you might be able to sit down for a cup of coffee and laugh about it all.

If it gives you both the closure and peace each of you seek post divorce, why not end it amicably? The papers are signed, it's done and she's moving. Not all people who divorce have to have an acrimonious situation or have rancor or hard feelings. However after this it may be best to block her and all her people

My ex and I are meeting tonight to say goodbye. I think in a way she is looking for me to provide that closure that she needs.

You were married. This isn't like some short term dating situation so I say go if YOU want to or don't if you feel its not necessary. This is about you and what is going to be the best thing to help YOU close the door.

Wiseman2 I think you nailed it.

I'm one who actually believes in closure. Especially in a relationship this long, a marriage. And when one person asks for a last conversation, to serve as closure, and the other person feels it could help them move on, why not?

I say, be a big person, meet with her, and say your amicable goodbyes, and wish each other well.

It's always so odd to me that we share our hearts, our souls, or bodies with someone else, and then, poof....move on. Or big blowout fight, and move on. You had many good times together, so ending things on a good note can only help you both move on.

I met with the ex last night for a couple hours and things went well. Her mission was to see that we end up on good terms. I will admit that it was sad seeing her in such pain, and recognizing first hand how the divorce has negatively impacted her. Here was the woman of my dreams who had it all, set financially, member of a country club, stepmom to two boys for 16 yrs, house cleaning service, you name it, she had it all. She leaves today with all of her possessions in her car, financially challenged, and looking to start her new life at 58yrs old. Sad, but comforting that we made the effort to end things amicably and wish each other well.

I met with the ex last night for a couple hours and things went well. Her mission was to see that we end up on good terms. I will admit that it was sad seeing her in such pain, and recognizing first hand how the divorce has negatively impacted her. Here was the woman of my dreams who had it all, set financially, member of a country club, stepmom to two boys for 16 yrs, house cleaning service, you name it, she had it all. She leaves today with all of her possessions in her car, financially challenged, and looking to start her new life at 58yrs old. Sad, but comforting that we made the effort to end things amicably and wish each other well.

As others have posted, I too believe that this was the right choice. It varies by situation really. If it is not messy and it can be amicable why not? There is nothing wrong with loving someone that you are divorcing or saying goodbye and getting closure. Sure it may get messy for a few weeks/months emotionally afterwards. Sometimes loving someone the right way is knowing when to let go.

Relationships, people, and divorce is not always black and white. Sometimes people just grow apart. Like you described above... there were good parts to this woman. I'm sure there were bad parts too. At the end of the day it's just what is best for you, and in turn probably both of you.

Well said..