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Thread: Are age gaps the last taboo?

  1. #61
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    Originally Posted by SherrySher
    And OP, you keep citing all these movie stars or billionaires if you hadn't noticed they live in a different world than the rest of us. Different rules, different perspectives, different bank accounts, etc. No way could the avergae person compare to their lifestyles so best to not think you are like them or visa versa.
    I'm in the 1%. But it doesn't matter... my girlfriend claims that her parents would never accept me even if I were Elon Musk. Although she comes from a pretty poor family, they hold their dreams for their daughter (marrying someone her own age, having kids, etc) above material wealth. And I totally agree with them...

    So yeah, SherSher, I agree that movie stars live on a different level, but I'm as wealthy as some of them... it just doesn't change anything for my situation.

  2. #62
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Then why is she continuing with you? Have you asked her?
    Originally Posted by jakesv
    my girlfriend claims that her parents would never accept me

  3. #63
    Platinum Member IAmFCA's Avatar
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    I think 47 is within bounds to have kids but I wouldn't want to... At 55 and 65 their lives are pretty demanding while I am looking to simplify a bit. If, OP, you can afford and desire to focus on family time instead of work responsibilities, then late stage parenting might be a blast.

  4. #64
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    Originally Posted by Wiseman2
    Then why is she continuing with you? Have you asked her?
    We've talked about it a lot. Her immediate goal is law school next year. She has no plans to get married and have kids until after that (which usually takes about 3 years), so she's happy to spend time with me, traveling, rock climbing, or just hanging out.

    I catch myself feeling down, sometimes, when I realize that I can't spend the rest of my life with this person I love and who is (by far) the best match I've ever found. It bums me out that the relationship has to end some day. But then nothing is permanent anyway, right? Life ends too some day...

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  6. #65
    Platinum Member SherrySher's Avatar
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    I agree, IAm. I had the same discussion with my partner. We're not old but our child would be finishing highschool and we'd be close to 60. Neither of us felt it was fair to the child at all.
    Most people don't lose their parents till they're at least 30 onwards (usually) but to consider possibly losing a parent at a younger age, or (god forbid) have to take care of an ailing parent at a younger age, it would be terrible for the parent and the child.

    Yes, I know, there are some very healthy 60 somethings, but not everyone is lucky and we don't want to roll the dice. If it came out wrong, our child would get the short end of the stick.

    We both had to admit that although it's still possible to conceive, that boat has sailed. We would want better for any child we had and that being for us to be at least 10 years younger.

    It's sad. Closing another chapter of your life but it is what it is.

    I think this is what you will find, OP, more realities of life to face far sooner than she will. The age differences will get in the way eventually.

    All you can do for now is enjoy this time together but be strong enough to let her go when the time is right.

  7. #66
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    Originally Posted by Realitynut
    I go to my class reunion and crap...they all look and act so old. Not just the men...but women too!

    I'm traveling to the Upper Peninsula tomorrow...by myself. I'm going Hiking in Utah the end of next month....for 12 days. By myself. I wish i could find a happy healthy older man...but hahahaha...they stay married. Or are dating the 30 and 40 year olds. That's why the older women look at them askance.
    Reality Nut: I'm a 59-year-old male, and when I do extreme sports, 75% to 80% of the participants are male, and half of the women who participate are there with their husbands or boyfriends. Most of the single guys would be very happy to find an outdoor-oriented woman with whom to do things, and the women have guys clamoring for them.

    Like you, I find that most people my age (men and women) act old and aren't healthy enough to do the things I want to do. The exception is when I go to these kind of outdoor sporting events, where those who are still physically capable and are interested in doing stuff like this go (after doing a difficult stretch of whitewater, we talked about our ages, and three were 67 years old). I think if you go to outdoor events that also interest you, you'll find that you are outnumbered by healthy men who are your age (and even though I'm fortunate enough to be healthier than many or even most at age 35 or 40 at my ancient age (people in the USA are unfortunately in lousy shape), I can't imagine a 35-year-old woman who I could really connect with for an extended period of time. She hasn't done what I've done or been where I've been.

    [By the way, I've noticed a big difference between those i meet where I live, at my high school reunion, and at my college reunion. At my college reunion, unless they crippled themselves in sports during college, which many of my friends unfortunately did), those at that reunion tend to be far more active, intelligent, and they aren't acting old.]

  8. #67
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    Yes, I believe they are.

    My ex bf in is thirties has just broken up with me (late 40s) due to our 15yr age gap. He can't get over how other people will judge him.

    Less taboo is older male/younger female.

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