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Thread: Are age gaps the last taboo?

  1. #1
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    Are age gaps the last taboo?

    There was a time when inter-racial relationships were taboo: "That's disgusting!" "It's against nature!" "Eww, gross!!"

    But now, no one really cares.

    Then later it was same-sex relationships that were taboo: "That's disgusting!" "It's against nature!" "Eww, gross!!"

    And now, in 2018, same-sex couples can (mostly) live in peace without constant judgement.

    But age-gap relationships are still taboo: "That's disgusting!" "It's against nature!" "Eww, gross!!" ... is still the acceptable reaction from all corners of society, especially from older women who seem particularly offended.

    I am in an age-gap relationship and my girlfriend (in her 20s) feels constantly stared-at when we are in public together. She has a hard time with it. And it's not realistic to tell her to "just stop caring" because of course girls have a ton of pressure on them to conform to societal expectations and win approval.

    I read an article that said that couples in age-gap relationships often reported higher levels of happiness than same-age couples, but that age-gap relationships were less durable because of society's disapprobation. In other words, we want to be happy but other people won't stand for it.

    My girlfriend just wants to move to a desert island where people find us acceptable. Of course that won't happen, and eventually we'll break up because her parents will never accept me.

  2. #2
    Platinum Member SherrySher's Avatar
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    Not sure where you heard that age gap couples were more happy. Age gap have a much more difficult time due to the fact that they are not in the same place in life. There is different wants, needs and understandings.
    It might not be a problem initially, but it will catch up to you and it will become a problem.
    It seems that the more a couple ages, the younger one will feel more resent for missing out on life and feeling dragged down by the older partner.
    It happens nearly 100/100.

    Is it disgusting? Depends on who you ask. It's not exactly ideal and the older partner can definitely look like they are taking advantage of the younger. Which is no doubt why her parents will never accept you.
    When you start to get into an age gap where the older could be the younger partners parent, then that is something that would leave a distaste in anyone's mouth. It again looks wrong.

    The chances of this type of relationship working out long term is not great. There are many factors working against the relationship that is far beyond what society thinks.

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    Take this article, for example, reporting that age-gap couples often report higher degrees of happiness

    [Register to see the link]

    My girlfriend and I spend a lot of time traveling, going rockclimbing (my main sport, which I spend a lot of time at), dining out, watching Netflix (more her thing than mine), spending time with friends, and just talking about anything/everything. We've been together about a year now, and I've never gotten along with anyone so well before. It's maybe my 10th relationship in my lifetime and the first time I've had a large age gap with someone. I wish I'd met someone like her when I was 25... she's going to make a great wife to someone some day.

    But at least I get to have some time with this amazing person for a few years now... grateful for that

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    Forum Supporter ~Seraphim ~'s Avatar
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    Depends on the ages involved.

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    Platinum Member SherrySher's Avatar
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    It's an interesting article, mind you it's sounds more like a theory rather than reality. In my lifetime I have yet to see an age gap relationship that turned out to be good in long term.
    It seems to have an expiration date.

    People age, there is no stopping that. The younger will eventually tire of the older and the older will have more issues along the way.

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    I say it depends on the age. How old are you? If you're talking 50 year old guy and 18 year old girl, yes, that IS ewww! On the other hand, a 25 year old woman and 35 year old guy, not so much of an issue.

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    Platinum Member SherrySher's Avatar
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    I agree, Capricorn.

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    I'm 42 and the "half your age plus 7" rule means she has to be at least 28. But she's 25. She said her parents would think I was too old even at 35 and I'm well beyond that. So yeah... game over.

    Larry Ellison is married to a 20-something and he's 73. But he's a billionaire. For some reason, billionaires and movie stars get to be an exception to the "EWWW" rule. Why?

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    Platinum Member SherrySher's Avatar
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    There is no exception. I doubt anyone thinks it's great. And truth be told, the richer men are just paying for a long term prostitutes to be fair. There is no way the young women want those men, they want their bank accounts.

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    Originally Posted by jakesv
    I'm 42 and the "half your age plus 7" rule means she has to be at least 28. But she's 25. She said her parents would think I was too old even at 35 and I'm well beyond that. So yeah... game over.

    Larry Ellison is married to a 20-something and he's 73. But he's a billionaire. For some reason, billionaires and movie stars get to be an exception to the "EWWW" rule. Why?
    Nope, no exception. Still a gold digger and an old geizer. She wants money and he wants to relive his youth .

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