Facebook share
LinkedIn share
Google plus share
Twitter plus share
Give Advice
Ask For Advice
Results 1 to 8 of 8

Thread: What should i do?

  1. #1
    Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2017
    Location
    Australia
    Posts
    23
    Gender
    Male

    What should i do?

    Hello thanks for reading

    so I met this guy about a few weeks ago, we've been texting a lot, we never stopped texting ever since we met, we talk about all sorts of things. We had a great time, but he told me he was moving to Germany in a couple of weeks when we first met. i felt like at one point he wanted to have a relationship with me but knowing that he's leaving, we both understamd that is not for both for us. i always tell him i enjoyed the time with you and he said me too.

    he is moving next week, I said I'm going to miss you. he said I am sure we will meet again at some point. do you think will meet him again before he leaves?

    But he usually responded to me with long text and reply in time. Just in about the 2 days, he started to message me very late, often like 4 hours later. I am starting to panic, i don't know what is the reason. it is giving me a lot of anxiety. i thought he was bust but i can see his facebook online for a few times which makes me a bit confused.

    What should I do? I usually just send one text message and wait for him to reply, should I send another message and see what's going on?

    Thanks for reading.

  2. #2
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2016
    Posts
    7,450
    A few years ago, I moved abroad too. In the time before I left, I focused on my friends and family, as I was moving to a different continent and wouldn't see them again for a while. I had been casually seeing someone for a month or two before I moved, and he knew from the beginning that I was leaving. For me, it was a bit of no-strings fun but it was not going to go any further. (And yes, he knew this too) I had no intention of trying to keep things going, so I let it naturally fade out in the last week or so before my departure. I had other priorities and people I wanted to spend time with.

    I don't know if you will see him again before he goes, but I think you need to realize this isn't going to become a relationship. You barely know him and he's moving overseas (I see in your profile you're in Australia, so I'm guessing he is too) There is nothing "going on," other than a guy about to make a huge move and not being able or willing to prioritize someone he's known a few weeks. I am sure he liked you well enough, but it's not realistic to maintain under the circumstances. You have both acknowledged this. It's already been finished and filed in his mind as a fond memory.

    You had to have known this wasn't going anywhere, no? I am not sure why you're panicking, as you knew this departure was coming.

    EDIT: I read your thread from a week ago. This was a bit of fun for him, but you seem to have gotten attached and expected much more.
    [Register to see the link]

  3. #3
    Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2017
    Location
    Australia
    Posts
    23
    Gender
    Male
    Thank you so much for your reply. and thanks for reading my posts!!!

    I just think that he is the nice guy, he didn't just liked the fun, he actually enjoyed hanging out with me, and he actually said that. we went for dinners and walking in the park together. He drove me around to show me different things. i could feel that he was genuine. that' why the in the last post i wondered what did he want from me...

    I really agree with what you say about priorities, he's leaving he has a lot of things to do. He told me he was not meeting anyone and only saying goodbyes to his existing friends. I honestly feel happy that he would spend some time to hang out with me. we had great converstaions.

    I understand and i wasn't expecting a relationship really, I just thought that maybe we can still contact each other and like he said we will meet again at some point. I don't know why I felt so emotional, I met him yesterday, he drove me home, when i got home i actually cried really hard knowing that he's leaving soon. i just naturally dont' like to see people leaving it makes me so sad.

  4. #4
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2016
    Posts
    7,450
    It's okay to be sad.

    And I am sure he does enjoy your company, and things would likely be different if he weren't moving. But, the reality is that this always had an expiration date on it. Even if you had stayed in touch, I can speak from experience that moving abroad is a life-changing moment and he will probably be very distracted with his new surroundings, new people, new language and new work. Keeping up with casual acquaintances from home won't be on the top of his to-do list, honestly.

    As such, I would not expect more than some casual contact now and then. You can remember this as a fun fling.

  5.  

  6. #5
    Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2017
    Location
    Australia
    Posts
    23
    Gender
    Male
    Thank you for your reply.

    he hasn't replied to my last text for like 8 hours. i just saw him online on grindr, i am so heartbroken right now...

  7. #6
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2016
    Posts
    7,450
    Originally Posted by oliver7794
    Thank you for your reply.

    he hasn't replied to my last text for like 8 hours. i just saw him online on grindr, i am so heartbroken right now...
    This is where I think you need to do a little more digging inside yourself. Think about why you are so attached to someone you met a couple weeks ago, and why you pinned your hopes on a situation you knew would be very temporary. It's worth reflecting on that, so that you don't go into another dating/hook-up situation with expectations that are just not realistic for the specific circumstances.

    Out of curiosity, what was the last message you sent him?

  8. #7
    Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2017
    Location
    Australia
    Posts
    23
    Gender
    Male
    Thank you!

    I feel like he is a liar now, because he told me he's not meeting anyone, yet he's no grindr.

    cause the last time I met him, we talked casually about dating and anything, I even asked him to open his Grindr profile, he didn't have a picture in his profile. And from that, I knew what his profile looked like. He told me he's not using that.

    yesterday, he didn't reply for a long time, out of curiosity I went on and downloaded the app (I am not using the app). And I found his profile online. He didn't reply to me but he's online talking to other guys.

    The last message I sent was just a casual question, he told me to guess what he where he was, and I guessed right and asked him what he was doing there, that's all...

    He responded at midnight last night. I don't feel like I should reply to him, cause I think he is just so fake at this point, I feel like everything he said was a lie. Should I reply to him, or am I misunderstanding anything?

  9. #8
    Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2017
    Location
    Australia
    Posts
    23
    Gender
    Male
    should I confront him and ask him why he was on Grindr?

    i really want to know why is he doing this tbh.


Give Advice
Ask For Advice

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •