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Thread: Moving for a relationship

  1. #11

    Join Date
    Aug 2018
    Posts
    4
    It's a lesbian relationship and she followed the baby mom across the country due to the fact that custody was awarded in favor of the birth mother. If she didn't move to xyz she would've lost custody. Her and the baby mom keep in contact pretty frequently over her toddler but it's strictly communication about her son.

    Due to financial reasons and the fact that I am still on the lease Ive been paying my half of the rent. Legally I'm obligated to pay as long as I'm on it and at this point she can't afford to not have me as a co-signer. My issue isn't necessarily paying what's owed or even helping out, it's the fact that I have helped her out considerably financially with little to no appreciation. She views it as me simply throwing money at the problem which isn't the case.

    I stayed home when she told me to not come back. I figured if she decided that things weren't working and her and I shared an apt she would be the one who would end up keeping the apt. I didn't know anybody in the city we moved to and wouldn't necessarily have had anybody to turn to in that event.

    I'm having a hard time cutting ties with the situation because before everything hit the fan I genuinely felt like she was the one for me but I think it might be healthier for both of us to step away.

  2. #12

    Join Date
    Aug 2018
    Posts
    4
    That isn't quite what happened. We had growing pains, sure. I had a flight back from my graduation trip and fully intended on returning. She explicitly told me in a phone call and text to not return and that she would send me my things. She changed her mind a day later after many an ignored phone call/text.
    Yes I did decide on staying in my hometown after that incident out of caution. I knew if I moved in with her again right away and she decided things were through that she'd be the one keeping the apt. That's a good 2000+ miles out of my comfort zone away from anyone I know. I don't think it's necessarily fair to ask a person to uproot again when the foundation of a relationship is rocky at best. Long distance relationships do exist... It is possible to work at things from a distance but I guess the reality is neither one of us signed up for that.

    I never blamed her for moving, not sure where that comment came from. I'm paying my half of the rent because of a sense of obligation, yes but I've definitely gone beyond that obligation in terms of helping out financially.

    I don't necessarily see how I'm the one stonewalling seeing as I've been open to communication and the idea of moving within reason. To state that I didnt know what I was feeling or doing within the relationship I think is a misjudgment of the situation.

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