Feeling powerless with my son when dealing with ex wife.

So our divorce is final next week.

Wife found Her 22 year old man of her(27) dreams 2.5 months ago. Within the first week of them seeing eachother she introduced our son to him and a week later our son to his family. Within the last month the new bf began staying almost every night in the bed with her while our son sleeps in his own bed. They already take our son to the bf parents house almost every Sunday for dinner. She says she’s never been happier and know he’s the one she will spend her life with and have a family with. I’ve always been a good father, always there with my son, never missed a child support payment and we have 50/50 custody. She almost comes off at times like she’s trying to find ways to build a case against me to take my son so she can push me out and make a little family with just the three of them. She even threatens me on multiple occasions with zero legal reason or evidence to try and take my son. Even saying he can just stay with her on my days because apparently my son doesn’t even want to be with me. Which clearly when he is around me he is excited and doesn’t stop telling me how much he loves me and misses me.

What I feel powerless is, she’s clearly not putting my son first and only concerned about her new boyfriend and her self. Our son is 4, and yes I’ve heard people say he won’t remember any of this. However, right now he clearly does. He still ask why I don’t live at home, and now for the second time in a week has broken down sobbing asking me to come home with him and he just wants his mother and me to be together.

There’s so much more to this and our child, but what I really feel powerless and what gets to me is. Our son is having a very hard time and is hurting. She won’t even open her eyes to it and cool it with mr. perfect to allow our son the time to understand and come to terms we aren’t together, then through the fact in there’s a new man in the house. Don’t get me wrong, so far this kid has been nothing but caring and nice to our son so far. Clearly a bit intimidated by me even when I really haven’t tried to be. What makes t harder for me and our son at least I think aids to it. Just 4 days before she started dating this kid, that prior Sunday I was sleeping in the house.

It’s one thing to let her fail and rush into whatever relationship she wants. Part of me is so sick of her always being selfish that I kinda want to watch her new fling she things is forever crash n burn, but then I hope by some miraculous fluke her relationship is that one in a billion. So that my son doesn’t have to love a life of people and other men coming in and out of his life.

If it wasn’t for our son and seeing him really confused and hurting I wouldn’t really care. But I feel like he needs his mom and me to be there for him right now and all she cares about is her bf, his family, and the materialistic $$$$ they provide.

I really wish there was something I could do to either drive it home with her or get through to her, but even when I say. I’ve notice talon is hurting right now and we need to be there for him. She turns it into “what happen? He should just come home to me”.

I’m lost with how to properly help my son. I feel like if I try to help him, all the progress with him will be undone the second he returns to his mom. He’ll feel confused and learn to just bottle things up.

I would share all this information with your attorney and discuss child custody. Depending on your location, it is frowned upon to date before finalizing a divorce.

Also I have memories dating far back as 2 years old. A 4 year old is capable of maintaining long term memories.

Your wife has terrible judgement. Your child should not have met bf, until the 6 month mark. The sleepovers are so inappropriate.Your ex is very selfish.

He will remember.

Best thing you can do is speak to your family attorney about what recourse you do actually have, and what to avoid doing in trying to amicably resolve such a situation. You start shouting at her, sending angry texts-- even if obviously out of the most understandable of frustrations-- and you could be hurting your own custodial standing despite it all.

It's a terrible thing for her to be doing to your son. Not just psychologically, but even in terms of inviting men she hardly knows to share walls with your kid overnight. Make sure you keep a cool head.

Go back to Family Court and document EVERYTHING. Whoever is telling you that he won’t remember is full of crap . I have a memory from before I was two years old and I’m going to be 52 . I absolutely have full long term memories from being four years old . I absolutely remember my parents getting divorced when I was five it was heartbreaking .

My ex introduced our kids to her new partner (affair partner) 2 weeks after I kicked her out or our house. My kids accepted it for a few weeks then all 4 showed signs of anxiety, but she ignored them. Eventually they all had emotional breakdowns and one developed panic attracts. Our divorce mediator became involved and threatened her with a mandatory notification. At that point she kept him away from our kids, but the damage was done. In court her actions were viewed as emotional child abuse and I now have full custody.

Another poster said 6 months is the required time to introduce children to a new partner and they are right!!. This is the accepted time that the court appointed counsellor stated is needed for all children, even in a amicable situation.

I've had several short term relationships over the last 3 years and none have met my children, even though I would have liked them to. They come first, not my needs.

You're ex is playing a dangerous game with your child's emotions that can be detrimental in the future, no matter how old he is. It's her that is risking having custody taken away, not you.

I feel so sorry for you!

My Mother had multiple husbands & bfs when I was growing up & it has badly affected my Sisters & I.

I divorced my husband & stayed single til my kids were a lot older, then started dating, and have only ever introduced 2 men to them

Your childs safety is of the paramount importance here.

You need to talk to your lawyer & find out how to start proceedings against her.

Bringing a stranger into the house so soon is just disgusting

Don’t get me wrong, the last thing I ever want to do is rob my son of his mother. He loves her just as much as he loves me. The kid she’s seeing is really a very nice guy. However, she seems to playing with must and it’s blinding her as if she found who she is suppose to be with forever.

The other night I had her sign a couple copy’s of an agreement that stats a bunch of stuff. Pretty much cuts down any hope of her taking my son from me based off her raw emotion versus what’s legal. She never once spent a second understanding the difference between using the legal system versus her own selfish controlling dictator style wants. She got heated and I asked the kid bf twice to please bring our son inside. You could tell he’s never had to deal with a child in this manner and never seen her like this before. I asked please bring talon inside he doesn’t need to hear this. Finally the second time he stood up , but had that deer in the headlights look and didn’t know what to do.

Finally I convinced our son to go inside and say hi to our pups that me and the ex got together. Then the bf just sat back down and fought off the awkwardness by getting on his phone. I guess it showed me everything I thought about him. He’s great playing with my son as he’s still a kid and young, but has zero idea how handle an actual adult situation involving a child. That is one of many scenarios I’ve started to really question her finding it ok to just throw my son into this guys life and family.

Why are you asking this guy to wrangle your kid when both you and your wife are present to do so? Putting someone you don't want to be responsible for your son in a position do be reasonable for your son is one of the dumbest things I've ever read.