Passive aggressive friend, distanced from but still feel very anxious over...

I don't know how to shake this feeling.

Am returning home soon after spell away, as seen in previous posts, i did cut her out, but I know I will still have to see her...

I felt obliged to wish happy birthday and she been messaging but can still sense an undertone of this passive aggressiveness...

She isn't the nicest about anyone and always has drama, I really want to see friends back home but avoid her as she has caused me pain.

It feels like if I want to see these friends, I can't not invite her because it is mean, I don't want to be mean.

I used to really like her but after the drama and the gossipping, i cannot be good friends with her again, plus she gossips about others as well and I dont want to be involved, but still want to see my other friends.

How to handle without being a jerk?

I was going to talk to her about the issues but it will only make things worse, her playing victim and gossipping about me more, to those she gossips about...

Sometimes you cannot win! lol

Is this the girl you broke up with two years ago?

Stop contacting her! Stop messaging her. Don't invite her out. Follow the NC rules. No contact, no contact, no contact. If you run into her, just tell her straight out that you can't handle any kind of friendship with her. You're not being a jerk. And you shouldn't be "good friends with her again" unless you're trying to get a booty call partner, and I wouldn't recommend that. Just stay away from her.

Its 'friend' not ex... I don't contact ex anymore :)

PS i totally agree with you on the ex thing, some lessons we learn the hard way.

Don't understand why you would wish her happy birthday. Don't invite her out. Be done with this.

You are causing unnecessary drama on yourself. You also need to expand your friend circle.

Try visiting with your other friends one-on-one or two at a time, and speak about anything in the world but the one who you're avoiding.