Girlfriend wants to watch me have sex with another woman

Hello, first time here I was just hoping to hear from people who've been in a similar situation, I'm not quite sure what to make of it.

I guess a little information first, we're both 23 and we've been dating for a year now. I've recently had to move states and we've been doing long distance for several weeks. A few nights ago we were just talking , making jokes and she mentions that she wants to watch me have sex with another girl, turns out its not a joke and its something she would genuinely like to try.

At first I thought this was a way of her asking if I would be okay if it were the other way around but she seems pretty adamant about not wanting to sleep with other guys although she's mentioned wanting to try a threesome with another guy (only if i was involved, says she wouldn't be interested with just two random guys.)

I'm just a confused on the one hand every man's dream right? I'm just surprised to see this side to her i guess and im now seriously questioning things because i saw this as a long term relationship and she apparently wants the same but I don't know if this is just a sign of things to come or am i just over thinking it?

If anyone has experience in similar relationships how did things work out for you? Anything i should know about?

Thank you for the taking the time, much appreciated.

- Anics.

Sounds like she has a kink for voueyerism. Either that or cuckolding her. It's nice that she's opening up to you about her kinks. However, you do not need to do anything that you're not comfortable with. It's ok to turn down sleeping with another woman. You could find another way to indulge her fantasies, if you're uncomfortable with sleeping with another.

Well, I've heard of such things, but it's usually very rare that a woman wants to see her man have sex with another woman. Usually it's a cover for the girlfriend to have a lesbian experience under the pretense of a threesome. And having a threesome with another man is usually a cover for wanting an extramarital affair -- with your permission.

I can tell you that my wife and I talked about a threesome when we were young, but it never happened. You can lose friends by suggesting a threesome. Playboy once said the best way to do it is pick up an attractive stranger at a classy bar, someone you will never see again, so there won't be the chance of either party having an extramarital affair with that person.

I don't know. I think it's just a fantasy. I would say don't encourage her. It may just be sexy talk while you're separated. When you get back together, all this talk might evaporate when she can start having real sex again. And I would say don't go out and find a third person because it can ruin your relationship by breaking down trust and bring up a whole lot of confusion. Best to stay away from this and just fantasize about it, not do it.

You are long distance. Any talk about other people or opening the relationship is a very bad sign. She also could be looking for an out --- ie, convincing you to cheat -- or even breaking up if you agree with it - as a test.

Open relationships may be a solution to LDRs until you breakup which will happen because of the distance and her already bringing up this unrest. At 23 LDRs and celibacy due to it are unsustainable. You can try this out first but in the end a breakup is on it's way anyway.

we're both 23 and we've been dating for a year now. I've recently had to move states and we've been doing long distance for several weeks.

I'm less cynical about this than some of the above posters.

Human sexuality is so complex, wonderfully so. It's really important to be able to talk about fantasies like this without feeling guilty or that it's a threat to a relationship. Sometimes just talking about it is enough. Sometimes trying them out can be a blast—often more complicated than the fantasy, as reality tends to be, but there is a lot of room for fun, growth, and trust building if you can walk the line with grace.

If those talks get more serious? Well, then it's just on you to decide what makes you comfortable, what doesn't. Don't worry about what this means for the future of your relationship right now. You're both young. Have fun. Be honest with yourself and with her.

Hi I actually dated a guy a while ago who was into this. Like you I was a bit shocked but I didn't want to judge since I know there are many fetishes out there which I have no heard of. Although I wanted to make him happy, I was not comfortable with sleeping with another man in front of him. I admit that I tried to analyze why he might want me to do this, and like you I thought maybe he was using it as an excuse to do what he wanted. But after researching a bit, I found that it is a fetish which some people enjoy. So we talked about it, and we found a solution that worked for the both of us. It may not work for you but while we were being sexual he asked me to tell him (in detail) about other partners I've had and I guess this allowed him to picture it in his mind...

Again this is not the only solution, but I suggest talking about it and seeing what you are both comfortable with. Just thought I would share my experience with you.

Open relationships may be a solution to LDRs until you breakup which will happen because of the distance and her already bringing up this unrest. At 23 LDRs and celibacy due to it are unsustainable. You can try this out first but in the end a breakup is on it's way anyway.

If they don't see eachother a few weeks at a time and are committed to eachother -- it certainly is sustainable to be faithful during that time.

I do think that any talk of adding a third person is a foot out the door - if you are long distance AND on top of it they want to share you ---- nope.

Honestly, i would just chalk it up to sexy talk and nothing more. She could even be testing you.

My ex suggested it = and i'd never do it. But i knew he was serious because in retrospect he was looking for a way to either cause me to break up with him OR cause me to do something so major where i would be the bad guy and force his hand. I would focus on bridging the gap and planning the next time you can be together rather than talking about including others