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LDR boyfriend broke up with me but I'm confused


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My LDR boyfriend "broke up," with me after a fight. I had accused him of something and instead of listening to his side I was immature and kind of went off. I felt horrible about it and apologized the next day, and instead of responding to me he just kept ignoring my texts. I took that to mean he probably was breaking up with me and sent him a goodbye text apologizing again, then he finally replied and said that he didn't think he could be in a relationship at the moment and that if I loved him I would wait for him, but after talking for a bit he said he forgave me and ended the conversation with "ily." Then five days went by and I messaged him asking if he was okay and if we were still together, he said he was on vacation with his family and that he just needed a bit more time. I replied and then he replied back saying that he didn't think he could be in a relationship atm, needed a break from everything and that he was going through a hard time etc and then said he still wanted to be my friend. Then I replied to that and he replied 5 days later saying that he forgave me and that he'd been trying to contact me through text. I asked him if he could remove my name/change his pic (photo of us) if we weren't together anymore because my friends were asking, he removed my name from the bio but he kept the photo. I told him I understood and asked if it was just for now or if we were breaking up for good and he didn't really answer me, I'm just a little confused because he kept the photo of us as his profile picture and all he told me was that he needed this time to take a break from everything/figure himself out.

 

I'm just left a little confused after all of this, I don't know if there's another girl involved or if he's just saying we're on a break/breaking up for good, and when I ask him he doesn't really answer me and if he does he takes days to reply (this is very unusual for him and I know he's been online/checking his phone so he's doing it on purpose)

 

I love him and I feel horrible about what I did, but should I move on or wait this out? It doesn't seem like he's fully done yet but at the same time I don't know how long this is going to last (him not replying/messaging me) and it's starting to drive me crazy.

 

Overall our relationship has been really good, talking every day, I've been going to see him every holiday I've had off school etc, I just don't know what to do right now though

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LDRs just don't last. They're too difficult. You were in an online fight with someone a year ago. Was this the same boy? And you didn't say what this new fight was about. It probably would tell you what's wrong with the relationship.

 

Anyways, seeing this guy a couple of days a year just isn't a real relationship. Find somebody who lives close to you and go out on real dates. You don't need the drama of an Internet/Long Distance Relationship.

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LDRs just don't last. They're too difficult. You were in an online fight with someone a year ago. Was this the same boy? And you didn't say what this new fight was about. It probably would tell you what's wrong with the relationship.

 

Anyways, seeing this guy a couple of days a year just isn't a real relationship. Find somebody who lives close to you and go out on real dates. You don't need the drama of an Internet/Long Distance Relationship.

 

No this isn't the same boy, someone who was friends with him messaged me on FaceBook and told me he was cheating on me with a friend of us (turned out to be not true) and I just went off at him and said some really hurtful things. I know it would be more ideal to find someone close to me but this guy was one of a kind and I don't know how I feel about it being over for good

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He's not confused. He's told you multiple times very directly that he doesn't want to be in a relationship, which in breakup language means he doesn't want to be in a relationship with you. I'm sure he'd love it if you waited around while he explored his other options, but I wouldn't risk it if you don't want to get used while he lines up his next girlfriend.

 

Seeing each other a few times a year is not frequent enough to maintain a bond. Additionally, there are obviously big trust issues in your relationship, and trust is essential when you're long-distance. Block this guy and go NC permanently. Find someone locally to focus your energies on. All this guy is going to do is drag you along on a string, and you deserve better than that.

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He's not confused. He's told you multiple times very directly that he doesn't want to be in a relationship, which in breakup language means he doesn't want to be in a relationship with you. I'm sure he'd love it if you waited around while he explored his other options, but I wouldn't risk it if you don't want to get used while he lines up his next girlfriend.

 

Seeing each other a few times a year is not frequent enough to maintain a bond. Additionally, there are obviously big trust issues in your relationship, and trust is essential when you're long-distance. Block this guy and go NC permanently. Find someone locally to focus your energies on. All this guy is going to do is drag you along on a string, and you deserve better than that.

 

Yeah true, the only reason I'm confused is because two days before he said he didn't think he could be in a relationship he tells me he didn't want to break up

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Yeah, I don't really understand why people have a tendency to contradict themselves right before a breakup, but it's really common. Every breakup I've gone through that wasn't initiated by me included an "I love you" and sex in the 12 hours before it occurred. Don't listen to what he said or says. His actions are speaking loud and clear, and the sooner you accept the breakup is for real and for the best, the better the chance you will act in an empowering way for yourself. If you wait or chase him for an extended period of time, it will erode your self-esteem and you will regret it later.

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  • 2 months later...
... he finally replied and said that he didn't think he could be in a relationship at the moment and that if I loved him I would wait for him, ... said he still wanted to be my friend.

 

I'm just left a little confused after all of this,

 

He is putting you on the back burner and friend zoning you. Do not agree to this. Maintain your value.

 

He probably does have his eye on another girl, a local one.

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