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Asking my French teacher out


clwc

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Hi everyone!

 

Basically the situation is as such:

 

I am currently taking up French at this place (more casual rather than professional business setting) and am kinda smitten with my French teacher. She's adorable, quirky (like me), smart and also beautiful and she’s the same age as me, 24 (so no, this is not weird like in high school!). I don’t like reading into signs but I must admit, it seems like, so far, we have good vibes with each other e.g. good chat, plenty of smiles (i noticed that she only ever really smiles to me and not other students, even at times seemingly shy where she would look down whenever I establish deep eye contact). I am not saying that she finds me attractive or whatever (probably not at this point) but I think we could definitely click!

 

I would love to ask her out for coffee but I am worried that this would affect the class dynamics, make it awkward for the 7 or so classes left etc if she says no for whatever reason. I am pretty sure she is single too (but of course, she might have some hidden boyfriend somewhere). Knowing myself, I would probably ask her out anyway soon but I am wondering if anyone has any ideas as to how to go about it! I am thinking of offering her a lift home after class (last class of the day for her too) and just before dropping her off, just ask her out casually for coffee. In essence, I am looking for advice on 1) how to ask her out, 2) what to do/say if she says no (this is quite important as I don't want to hurt the 'professional' teacher/student relationship thing too badly).

 

Another caveat is that I will be heading overseas for another year of study in two months (just after the French classes end) but I will be back in Dec for a month. I am unsure how to take this into account when asking her out or if we do actually go out, how to approach this potential problem. She knows that I will be leaving for my Masters so maybe this will deter her from saying 'yes' too despite being attracted..? Perhaps some advice as to how to factor this when asking her out or when actually going out with her too might help!

 

Sorry for the long post and thanks for taking the time to read this!!!

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Oh, boy. I had my answer all planned out until I got to the part where you're taking off in two months for a year's study abroad. The plan to offer her a ride home or ask her out for coffee or some food or drink on the last day of class is a good one. If she says yes, I think during that "date" you tell her about your education plans and let that sink in. Then you ask for another date and see if she accepts. Then keep dating her until you leave. Try to keep in contact with her while you're abroad. Certainly come back in December and try to pick up where you left off. Hopefully, when you come back next year, you can re-establish the relationship and keep going.

 

Now if she says no, then there's no problem because the class is over. There's no teacher/student thing to hurt once the class is over. Good luck.

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Well, I was going to say that you should probably wait to take her on a date until after you finish the 7 classes you have left with her, but since you are leaving right after I am assuming you may not have the time? That just seems like the best possible option, since that way it wouldn't really upset any professional relationship you should be maintaining in class. If that is possible, I'd do it that way. You can still ask her ahead of time, but wait until your last class to actually take her on a date.

 

I think it would be pretty cute if you asked her out in French, since she is teaching you French, that's just me. I wouldn't worry about the whole leaving the country stuff until you ask her out and get a yes. If she says no, that is all very inconsequential. If she says yes, you take her on a date, see how the date goes. If the date goes well and you ask her for another one, I'd maybe bring up the topic on date 2.

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My opinion might go slightly against the current, but life is too short to pass on opportunities. Plus, no need to be putting the cart before the horse.

 

You are just going to meet her for coffee to get to know her better. You aren't starting a relationship or anything really. It's just two people grabbing coffee and getting to know each other. Nothing more. As long as you are straightforward with her and don't mislead her, I'd say seize the opportunity to have a nice time with a lovely lady.

 

However, I do agree with others to wait until classes have officially finished.

 

Let us know how it goes!

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Thanks everyone for the replies!

 

Just to clarify, only two classes have passed and when I wrote that it's her last day of class, I meant that she would go home after the class that I am in! It seems that the general consensus is that to ask her out only after classes have officially finished. In a normal situation (where I am not leaving a couple of days after the last official class), I would definitely wait till then, but since it's not ideal, I would really like to get to know her more during these two months that I am here. If i wait till the last class, then it seems like the whole thing is a bit pointless. Like greendots had mentioned, I am probably not going to start a relationship with her that soon or anything that serious, but more just to lay the groundwork for something in the future perhaps i.e. become good friends with her or maybe even just having fun dates first within this short period. Thus, I feel that I should not lose out on the two months that I have right now and would probably ask her out by the next class (that's next weekend), AND definitely going to ask her out in French, duh!

 

I think the harder part of this endeavour is what to say/do IF she says no and rejects me. Obviously I am going to try to play it cool but what would you guys say at that moment if you are put in that spot? Would you be willing to potentially sacrifice the student/teacher dynamics for the purpose of pursuing a potential romance?? If so, how would you react in class (a girl's perspective to this would be helpful!!)?

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My philosophy is always approach a woman if you're attracted to her, then you never have regrets.... Life's too short!!

 

I've been dating my online German teacher who's Russian, for the last 2 year. I've learnt no German and now I'm learning Russian. It's taken a hell of a lot of travelling (half way around the world) and late night Skype sessions to keep the long distance relationship heathy, but I think she's the one and hopefully soon we will be together full time.

 

Forget another issues and ask her out.... Love finds a way if it's meant to be.

 

Good luck

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What's in this for her?

 

Well... I mean other than the fact that she would have the opportunity to meet the one and only me, since she has only moved here from France a year ago and is single (for now that I know of), perhaps going out on a couple of (fun) dates whilst she is here could lead to an actual, beautiful relationship? Haha, honestly I don't know what's in for her, but I do believe that if after getting to know her more we seem to be able to click as individuals, then it may initially lead to a very good friendship that may blossom into an actual relationship in the future! Who knows!

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You are leaving in a few weeks. Nobody wants a LDR with someone they had a few dates with. There seems to be no upside for her except getting out and having a bit of fun. If you pour on the future relationship thing, she'll know you're full of it and turn you down.

 

If you think from her perspective you chances for a few fun dates may be better.

could lead to an actual, beautiful relationship? it may initially lead to a very good friendship that may blossom into an actual relationship in the future
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You are leaving in a few weeks. Nobody wants a LDR with someone they had a few dates with. There seems to be no upside for her except getting out and having a bit of fun. If you pour on the future relationship thing, she'll know you're full of it and turn you down.

 

If you think from her perspective you chances for a few fun dates may be better.

 

That actually happened in my previous relationship last year where it became a LDR for a year! I get what you mean but I am coming back by this time next year, so if we could go on a few fun dates for now, then at least there is some groundwork for something next year. Also, those dates could continue when I am back for a month at the end of this year too! I do understand that it seems like there is no upside to her if I am making the 'would you be my girlfriend' pitch after like 2 or 3 dates in since it is going to be a LDR (unless we really dig each other!!!) but I don't think I would anyway, so the best bet is to just play the long game and see how it goes after a few fun dates where we both enjoy ourselves!

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“Il n’y a qu’un bonheur dans la vie, c’est d’aimer et d’être aimé.” – George Sand

 

English translation: “There is only one happiness in life: to love and be loved.”

 

Je crois que c'est vrai aussi! C'est pourquoi je vais absolument lui demander sortir avec moi ;)

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I am studying at university in Australia and I have a bit of a crush on one of my tutors. I actually don't think that there is any way to ask him out until after I finish my degree, or at least this major (he is a tutor in many of the classes).

 

What DOES happen if she says no? It is going to be so intensely uncomfortable for the rest of those 7 lessons. Worse, what if she agrees because there is a level of obligation as she is your teacher. She might feel in a very put upon position because you are her student.

 

I personally find that the dynamic in a classroom is so delicate. Tutors / teachers are so giving, and I think the dynamic can be so easily derailed, that I don't think that I am going to ask my tutor out, maybe ever. C'est la vie.

 

You seem very positive and upbeat, but I fear you have lost that initial sense that perhaps this could make things uncomfortable in class.

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