How do I keep this a secret from my parents? Birth control?

My guy bestfriend and I have been hanging out a lot this summer, we've gone on so many adventures, and recently he has met my family. The minute my mom found out I've been constantly talking to this boy she got all weird and automatically thought i liked him and he liked me and we were a thing, but that's not the case. When he came over to my house, she watched us like a hawk regardless of the amount of times i told her he was just a friend. Well, yesterday i told her that i was going to see a movie with him when in reality i went to his place and we played video games. I knew she wouldn't be okay with me going over there for probably the exact things we did. We were playing games and out of nowhere he kissed me one thing lead to another and we made out a lot, amongst other things (no sex though).

We talked and had decided we want to do it again, not all the time but an occasional fun time. My mom found out that i went over to his place yesterday because movies aren't 6 hours long, and she was a little thrown off by it but not mad. But, she's not going to let me go over there all the time because then she'll know. I am not a sneaky teen, and i am the WORST at lying especially to my parents. So, how do i continue this without telling my mom? We are being smart; the entire time we were making out anything he'd do he would ask permission because he didn't want to make me feel uncomfortable- also this isn't a norm for me this guy was my first kiss and stuff, so out of my element.

Lastly, since we want to continue things we may take them a step further and have sex. He will of course wear condoms but i want to get on birth control because you can never be too safe. How do i go about that? I tried to get on a while ago for cramps but my mom got weird about it and danced over the topic. If I keep asking she's going to know it's because im fooling around with some dude, she already thinks it's weird how i've been spending so much time with him especially at his house. Like I said this whole thing is new to me and I have no adults who won't tell my mom about this, and if my mom finds out she'll put me on a short leash with this dude (it's happened to my brother).

^^^

my parents are pretty strict so going to a clinic and stuff is not an option idk how i would get there and keep it from my mom

How old are you?

Before giving advice, how old are you and which part of the world are you in? I ask because there are different regulations and laws regarding accessibility to contraception, depending on where you are and your age.

I do applaud you for asking about this, in any event. It's great that you're thinking ahead and being smart about this.

How old are you? Here, where I live if you are 16 then you don't need your parents permission to go on birth control and anything between you and your doctor is confidential.

That being said, I think you should talk to your "friend" about being in an exclusive relationship because you're going to (if you haven't already) develop attachment to him through your sexual bonding and if he's not committed, you'll be crushed when/if he starts dating someone else.

BTW: Your very behaviour is why your mother has been trying to put you on a short leash. She was young once and she knows what hormones raging around someone you are attracted to can lead to. Is your "guy friend" the same age as you? How old is he?

How old are you?

I am 17 years old

Before giving advice, how old are you and which part of the world are you in? I ask because there are different regulations and laws regarding accessibility to contraception, depending on where you are and your age.

 

I do applaud you for asking about this, in any event. It's great that you're thinking ahead and being smart about this.

I am 17 i live in Washington state (USA)

The age of consent in Washington State is 16. You can go to a free clinic or your own doctor and get on birth control without your parents consent or the need for them to know.

How old is your "male friend?"

How old are you? Here, where I live if you are 16 then you don't need your parents permission to go on birth control and anything between you and your doctor is confidential.

 

That being said, I think you should talk to your "friend" about being in an exclusive relationship because you're going to (if you haven't already) develop attachment to him through your sexual bonding and if he's not committed, you'll be crushed when/if he starts dating someone else.

 

BTW: Your very behaviour is why your mother has been trying to put you on a short leash. She was young once and she knows what hormones raging around someone you are attracted to can lead to. Is your "guy friend" the same age as you? How old is he?

I dont know how i would make an appointment with my doctor without raising suspicion, i just had a checkup not too long ago.

Also, i don't have feelings for him this is just a fun thing we are doing. I have given my mom no reason to be put on a short leash, this very post shows i'm responsible and not willing to do anything to screw up my entire life. The reason why i'm am doing this with him is because i trust him and i know him. He is my age.

The age of consent in Washington State is 16. You can go to a free clinic or your own doctor and get on birth control without your parents consent or the need for them to know.

 

How old is your "male friend?"

He's the same age as me, but i dont drive i have no way of going to this clinic without them knowing, they're strict and need to know everything.

You would need cash to pay for it yourself to make sure your parents don’t get an insurance bill or statement.

Do you have acne or uncomfortable/irregular periods? You can use that as an excuse to get on the pill

Also, are you going to college in the fall?

You would need cash to pay for it yourself to make sure your parents don’t get an insurance bill or statement.

 

Do you have acne or uncomfortable/irregular periods? You can use that as an excuse to get on the pill

I do and i've tried, she got weird when i tried to get on it- and if i keep hounding her it's going to raise suspicions especially since i've really been hanging out with him. She overthinks everything, and isn't stupid

I dont know how i would make an appointment with my doctor without raising suspicion, i just had a checkup not too long ago.

Also, i don't have feelings for him this is just a fun thing we are doing. I have given my mom no reason to be put on a short leash, this very post shows i'm responsible and not willing to do anything to screw up my entire life. The reason why i'm am doing this with him is because i trust him and i know him. He is my age.

Do they have public transportation where you live? Surely you can take a bus. Do you work, you are old enough to.

 

Famous last words.

There is about a mile from where i live, and i don't work- i tried but i do school still and i do all the hardest classes there plus a lot of afterschool volunteer stuff, so i cant balance that and school

He's the same age as me, but i dont drive i have no way of going to this clinic without them knowing, they're strict and need to know everything.

Can he drive you there?

Can he drive you there?

He probably could, it just might be WEIRD and someone said it costed money, my card is linked to theirs and they track everything i buy

Buy condoms with cash.

There is about a mile from where i live, and i don't work- i tried but i do school still and i do all the hardest classes there plus a lot of afterschool volunteer stuff, so i cant balance that and school

Well, the two of you save up the money it will cost to have a doctor visit and the cost of the pills which you will have to take everyday and you walk to the clinic. If you decide that ALL of the suggestions given to you won't work for some reason then you better make sure that a condom is used EVERY SINGLE TIME. You might want to consider an IUD so that you're not having to pay for a prescription every month.

First things first... find a way to get to your doctor (walk if its only a mile away) and talk to him/her about options.

He probably could, it just might be WEIRD and someone said it costed money, my card is linked to theirs and they track everything i buy

Why would it be weird for him to drive you there? If you two are comfortable enough to have sex with each other, you should be comfortable enough to get a ride to the clinic from him. If you can't ask without feeling totally awkward, I would strongly advise you to wait to have sex with him.

If you are worried about your parents seeing a purchase on your card, can you draw cash from the ATM without raising their suspicions?

Why would it be weird for him to drive you there? If you two are comfortable enough to have sex with each other, you should be comfortable enough to get a ride to the clinic from him. If you can't ask without feeling totally awkward, I would strongly advise you to wait to have sex with him.

 

If you are worried about your parents seeing a purchase on your card, can you draw cash from the ATM without raising their suspicions?

Yeah it would raise suspicions, i'll try just asking her again and blame it on my cramps. Good thing is im on my period right now, so it shouldnt be suspicious asking her.

Buying condoms and learning to use them should most definitely be in your sex education-experimentation syllabus. Not misusing or lying about your parents funds.

Or developing a convoluted plot to obtain prescription birth control to defy and deceive your parents. While they don't need to know every sexual experiment or about a boy you like what you do together etc. Rebelling and lying to cut your nose off to spite your face is silly...and immature.

He probably could, it just might be WEIRD and someone said it costed money, my card is linked to theirs and they track everything i buy

I think if my daughter limited her chances of getting pregnant by some fly by night that she just wants to experiment with, I'd rather she came to me of course to discuss birth control, but if she was afraid to, I'd rather she went behind my back to keep her from falling pregnant at 17.

Op: I'm sorry you are afraid to go to your mother to discuss sex and sexuality. Its situations like yours that go on far too often and why first world countries like the USA have such a high incidence of unwanted pregnancy and single motherhood.

It is good the hear that you are at least trying to keep yourself pregnancy and STD free. Don't let him near you without a condom on.

Buying condoms and learning to use them should most definitely be in your sex education-experimentation syllabus. Not misusing or lying about your parents funds.

 

Or developing a convoluted plot to obtain prescription birth control to defy and deceive your parents. While they don't need to know every sexual experiment or about a boy you like what you do together etc. Rebelling and lying to cut your nose off to spite your face is silly...and immature.

I know how to buy and use condoms, in my post i say that he will use condoms, but birth control is something i want because you can never be too safe. I am not opposed to condoms neither is he. I am not trying to deceive my parents in any way; if this weren't such an awkward situation of just friends thing i would 100 percent tell them, i am just not comfortable with that right now and i think the most mature thing is to not get pregnant at 17.

Also, birth control doesn't have one use; it would help get my irregular period, it would help my cramps. I shouldn't have to conduct a plot to get medication that will help me in the long run. I am not "rebelling" i am a horny teenager. It's 100% natural to feel that way (which i learned in my sex education class). Instead of going on dating apps and having sex with everyone i see, i am choosing to have SAFE sex with a guy who i know, trust, and treats me with respect- which is what my parents would prefer.

I am opposed to buying birth control behind their backs- but the fact is parents need to stop being so controlling of their children so they aren't put in such awkward positions like this. This is why teenagers get STD's and pregnant because they have nobody they trust and can talk to- which is why i'm here, im not dumb and i do not want to become one of those STD pregnant ridden teens.

I think if my daughter limited her chances of getting pregnant by some fly by night that she just wants to experiment with, I'd rather she came to me of course to discuss birth control, but if she was afraid to, I'd rather she went behind my back to keep her from falling pregnant at 17.

 

Op: I'm sorry you are afraid to go to your mother to discuss sex and sexuality. Its situations like yours that go on far too often and why first world countries like the USA have such a high incidence of unwanted pregnancy and single motherhood.

 

It is good the hear that you are at least trying to keep yourself pregnancy and STD free. Don't let him near you without a condom on.

Thank you, that's the exact point i just made with a guy who was shaming me for trying to go behind their back. I will not let him near me without a condom on haha

Thank you, that's the exact point i just made with a guy who was shaming me for trying to go behind their back. I will not let him near me without a condom on haha

That-a-girl!

You are not mature enough to have sex if you lied to your parents about being at the movies.

If you were mature, you would have gone to the movies on a proper date or you would have said you were going to play videogames.

Not the kind of honesty you need to have sex.

Honestly, condoms are not enough if he doesn't know how to use them properly.

If he wants to date or have sex with you - instead of convincing you to sneak around your parents, he would do the opposite - act like a proper gentleman around them to gain their trust -- drop you back home when he says he will, or a bit early. Really go to movies. And then they will not watch like a hawk and if one day you go over and play video games, they won't even ask what you are doing.