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Terminating pregnancy.. Women only please.


Lalaxoxo

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I would like some advice on having an abortion done or if anyone has any personal experiences that aren't horrible. I really only want women's opinions because it is not a man's issue unless perhaps your wife has had one and you have something to say.

 

I have always been pro life. I never thought I would be seriously considering abortion. However I currently have a 5 month old. I am a young mom and my boyfriend and I do not own our own house and are not financially stable. I have money saved up and have everything my son needs etc but we are in no situation to have a second baby. I also had an extremely rough pregnancy and labor very painful and traumatic. I can't imagine taking care of my infant son while being pregnant again. I want to give him the attention and love he deserves and I want to focus on him. All these reasons make it obvious I should get an abortion but I haven't told anyone but my partner and I feel like I would love to hear from other women opinions etc...

 

Also please be kind. I was breastfeeding my son so never went on BC I personally hate hormonal bc anyway. I figured I never received a proper period due to nursing. So I never took a test. I ignored nausea and exhaustion I figure I am Atleast 2 months along right now. Just took a home test on the weekend and got a BFP. I am torn because if I were in a different stage in life I wouldn't want an abortion but I just don't see how it could ever work out.. :(

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Sorry but you don't really get to determine the gender of people who respond.

 

I am personally a pro-life individual.

 

But what my wife and I decide to do is our business and no one elses'.

 

Just like what you decide to do is totally on you, no one else is going to have to deal with the consequences.

 

If you can't support or deal with a new child then get one.

 

I have supported a couple friends who have and the procedure wasn't an issue, just helping them with emotional support was the biggest thing.

 

Especially with already having all the weight on your shoulders of a newborn, keep an eye on your mental state.

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I am very pro-choice for women. I am agnostic, however I believe sometimes in life we are faced with hard decisions. I believe you are making the right choice for your family. It is unfortunate in this world that the minority of a legal, majority-rule procedure seeks out vulnerable women such as yourself and subjects them to feel a high degree of self deprecation just because they have the loudest, persistent voice and an unrelenting need to be heard.

 

If you are at two months, then I suggest you go as soon as possible to a doctor who can prescribe you an abortion pill. I would try to go to planned parenthood first, if your GP can't refer you to a practitioner who can give you this medication. Avoid crisis pregnancy centers. If you must go to a dedicated abortion clinic, then I would do your research first to make sure there are not any radical, right wing protesters outside the facility. I am not sure how widespread they are, but those people have no right to make you feel bad about this decision. Just know, many pro-life people do not force their views onto those who are pro-choice. Pro-life is their own view, while they believe others should have their own choice. It's just these radical groups who make pro-choice people feel bad through their caustic methods in order to become pro-life.

 

Be kind to yourself, and good luck.

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Thank you everyone. Journeynow: I am not considering adoption because one of the major deterents is how horrible my last pregnancy was. I had unexplained bleeding multiple times. Lots of cramping and pre term contractions. I can't imagine taking care of my son like that. I'd have to be on bed rest. There is no way it would work I have Noone to take care of him and as he gets busier and moving more it would be a nightmare....if I did chose to endure all that I would just keep the baby.

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Yatsue than u for Ur kind words. I am in Canada not sure if we have planned parenthood I was just looking at a women's center. I have watched documentaries and I am afraid of being shamed because I know it would work even if I saw protestors. I would want to run out. I hope that is not my experience.

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My mom got one after two boys because my 2nd brother was so completely needy, she couldn't picture having this kid. Then she wanted a girl years later, and had a miscarriage, and prayed for a girl, then had me! So, technically, I'm God's gift to the world...j/k, not really :p

 

I've had one when I was 29/30. Heavily pressed on by my now ex. Thank goodness I never had a kid with him. Now I have two healthy, awesome boys. I'm Christian if that makes a difference, but believe a woman's body is her own right. Gotta do right by you and your family. No regrets either.

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Yatsue than u for Ur kind words. I am in Canada not sure if we have planned parenthood I was just looking at a women's center. I have watched documentaries and I am afraid of being shamed because I know it would work even if I saw protestors. I would want to run out. I hope that is not my experience.

 

Obviously I am a U.S. citizen haha. I would only take a referral or suggestion from a licenced practitioner and avoid researching online. It can lead to an illegitimate agency, which I would never want for you. Once you get a referral, please call the clinic before going to see how their setup is ahead of time. Don't be afraid to ask about what the procedure is in general, their rates, or if there are protesters outside. Your visit should be as welcoming as possible.

 

Since you'll be there anyway, I would talk to a physician about non-hormomal BC options. I have a hormonal IUD, but there's a non-hormonal copper IUD. Works great and fairly easy insertion! Incredibly effective, one of the most actually besides sterilization. Alternatives are diaphrams, condoms, spermacides, sponges, etc. You have effective options and I suggest you learn about them.

 

I am surprised so far at other posts. You were clear you do not want to go through with the pregnancy and have decided on abortion. I only hope there will be more encouragement and input about your decision to abort. This is the choice you have made. I have no doubt you have thought long and hard about it, but feel undeserved shame from those radical few in society who have made pro-choice people feel that way.

 

BTW if you abort, you can definitely get pregnant again. Abortions do not effect your fertility. You are young and have time, my dear.

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I'm probably one of the ones you're referring to. I'm just offering a clinical pov from experience working in it.

Of course it's her decision, and should not feel swayed to make a decision based on what anyone feels. But she asked , so she has to be prepared for whatever responses are received. No one is shaming her. She doesn't need to let anyone know her ultimate decision. It's her personal business.

 

I didn't say you were shaming her. In an earlier post I referenced radical, pro-life people who protest and actively shame women who get abortions.

 

On a completely different note, I said I am just surprised she was asking advice about abortions and gets advice about adoption when she was clear it wasn't what she wanted in the first place, instead presumptively assuming she's asking about it because she doesn't want one. Not every woman knows what it's like to go through one. Humans seek comfort in familiarity and she hasn't experienced this before. The unknown can be scary. While abortion shouldn't be, we all fear what we aren't familiar with.

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I only asked a question, it wasn't advice or intended as shaming, as she hadn't specifically mentioned adoption. I understand she is worried that another pregnancy might be hard on her and her infant. (A second pregnancy and birth may not be the same as the first.)

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I only asked a question, it wasn't advice or intended as shaming, as she hadn't specifically mentioned adoption. I understand she is worried that another pregnancy might be hard on her and her infant. (A second pregnancy and birth may not be the same as the first.)

 

Again, I didn't quote your response as shaming. See my previous post. She was clear she wanted an abortion and couldn't go through with the pregnancy, hence no adoption option after consideration. Only surprised, is all.

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I knew some people would be posting about adoption or what about this or that etc I may have done the same two years ago I was raised in a catholic house went to catholic school attended pro life marches as a teen. I know all that side I just really wanted to hear the other side. The pro choice side and women who had an abortion and don't regret it that is the side I haven't been shown. So thank you to everyone who replied. It is never easy but I almost instantly gravitated to this choice

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Don't put a moral label on yourself. Instead, ask your doctor to recommend a hospital/clinic/office that is not in the line of fire of political activists. You must consult with your doctor one way or the other, particularly given a recent difficult pregnancy.

I have always been pro life.
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I think you have a valid medical reason for having an abortion because of your problems with your previous pregnancy. You should discuss this with your gynecologist, He may tell you that it's too soon to go through a pregnancy and recommend an abortion.

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I’m pro-life, Catholic, and will be in labor in a couple weeks! I also struggled with a very difficult pregnancy (HG sucks) and a miscarriage, so I definitely know what you are going through, OP. I also admit to contemplating on abortion because I was extremely ill, had lost nearly 30 lbs, was at the plot of extreme starvation and dehydration and was put on bed rest for nearly two months of my first trimester.

My nausea didn’t stop until I was 33 weeks pregnant!

 

 

I do believe abortion is murder. HOWEVER, I also believe in exceptions for extreme cases... if the woman was raped and could not receive immediate medical assistance (like held against her will) OR her life was in jeopardy throughout the pregnancy and there are no other options to safely carry her baby or herself due to medical complications, then abortion should be exercised. Personally for me, it would be my very last resort.

 

I am not the OP’s doctor, so I can’t fully say if this pregnancy will endanger her health. But it’s definitely something to have a conversation between her and her OBGYN.

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Actually it probably doesn't cost much more to feed another mouth. And the clothing they can share. I know that when the kids are a bit older, it's easier on you when they have siblings to keep them busy. Maybe you can talk to a doctor about your fears of having another difficult pregnancy. Of course you have the choice, but you want to act for the right reasons so that you won't have regrets.

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I think this isn't about pro-life vs. pro-choice, nor is it about anyone else's experience.

 

This is such a purely personal decision, probably the single most personal decision, in the world.

 

You will have to do whatever soul-searching you need to do to make an informed decision.

 

This is one instance where I would advise against therapy, religious counseling, friends, family, and message boards.

 

Make this decision with yourself and the father.

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My parents did not own a home until I was 12 years old and the youngest child in the family 4. We had just one car until I was 8 when it became necessary because dad worked 70 minutes away and we moved to a rural area -- just in case of emergency - mom needed a car even if it was junky. Its not like when we lived in the city and could just walk to the corner to catch the bus or something. Some people own their first home at 65. Some never do.

 

You do not know how this pregnancy will be. Some women have horrible first pregnancies and great second pregnancies. If you can't afford to care for the child, how about placing them for adoption? I am not saying you have to give your child to social services - but a private agency where you can choose the couple. Your 5 month old won't remember the baby -- you can tell him in time when he is older if you choose to. They could have a wonderful life. Honestly, if you are pro-life, you in the future will regret your decision if you abort your baby. you can't guarantee if you continue the pregnancy that you will have a bad one. you can't predict that if you abort, things will go on as normal - you could have complications too.

 

How does your boyfriend feel? Its his choice, too.

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Actually it probably doesn't cost much more to feed another mouth. And the clothing they can share. I know that when the kids are a bit older, it's easier on you when they have siblings to keep them busy. Maybe you can talk to a doctor about your fears of having another difficult pregnancy. Of course you have the choice, but you want to act for the right reasons so that you won't have regrets.

 

I had many hand me downs. My parents were not married when my mom got pregnant -- my dad worked 2 jobs so mom could stay home with me. They did marry and had my siblings as well. So close in age - they will occupy eachother very well as they get older.

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I knew some people would be posting about adoption or what about this or that etc I may have done the same two years ago I was raised in a catholic house went to catholic school attended pro life marches as a teen. I know all that side I just really wanted to hear the other side. The pro choice side and women who had an abortion and don't regret it that is the side I haven't been shown. So thank you to everyone who replied. It is never easy but I almost instantly gravitated to this choice

 

I want to apologize you are not getting the kind of help you asked for in the majority, even if this was what you expected. I can only imagine how hard this is for you, and all I hope for you is to do what's right for you, not only in terms of the physical aspect.

 

I've been raised Catholic, but don't call myself a true Catholic because I do not practice regularly and am naturally a skeptic. Many groups have their own interpretation, but I've been taught to not judge others or He will judge you even more so for passing undeserved judgement. While I don't want to make this a religious discussion, it is nearly unavoidable.

 

You should not feel bad for choosing abortion. If it is what you and your husband feel is best, then proceed as you wish. You should not feel pursuaded by what others think. You know the pro-life side already. You know your options. You have the choice and no one should influence that. If you know you cannot afford an additional child, then it is not wise to proceed with another. If any of your children's basic needs are compromised by your financial situation, then you could risk losing them. Children are expensive, and sometimes cutting expenses or taking on another job doesn't work out.

 

If you decide to terminate, you will have less complications than if you would carry to term. While all procedures have the chance of complications, even a small chance, abortions are very safe. You are early enough in order to take a pill and abort. Everyone varies, but you will basically pass out a clot, there will be more blood than your period, although you will be safe. Talk to a doctor about it. I don't want to pressure you, but time is of the essence. Your options dwindle as you wait. I would at least make an appointment this week.

 

I say all of this because you want an abortion and ask about it. If you had asked what your options were instead, then this would be a very different conversation, but you did not.

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Yatsue than u for Ur kind words. I am in Canada not sure if we have planned parenthood I was just looking at a women's center. I have watched documentaries and I am afraid of being shamed because I know it would work even if I saw protestors. I would want to run out. I hope that is not my experience.

 

I'm Canadian and yes we have Planned Parenthood. I went to them when I was 23 and pregnant and wanted an abortion. They pointed me in the right direction and I had the abortion. You dont sound anywhere near ready for another child and you should not have one if that's how you feel. What anyone else thinks is irrelevant. Start with your doctor and see what they say. Abortions are safe and legal in Canada.

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I'd like to give you these links:

 

 

 

While it is in reference to the states, it could be useful in the sense of the acceptance of a choice, others' experiences, awareness about hidden agendas (in politics, religious groups, and crisis pregnancy centers-also present in Canada), information about abortion procedures, and how to sift through getting the kind of help you are asking for in regards to legalized abortion.

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