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Thread: Terminating pregnancy.. Women only please.

  1. #21
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    Originally Posted by Amalia13
    Actually it probably doesn't cost much more to feed another mouth. And the clothing they can share. I know that when the kids are a bit older, it's easier on you when they have siblings to keep them busy. Maybe you can talk to a doctor about your fears of having another difficult pregnancy. Of course you have the choice, but you want to act for the right reasons so that you won't have regrets.
    I had many hand me downs. My parents were not married when my mom got pregnant -- my dad worked 2 jobs so mom could stay home with me. They did marry and had my siblings as well. So close in age - they will occupy eachother very well as they get older.

  2. #22
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    Originally Posted by Lalaxoxo
    I knew some people would be posting about adoption or what about this or that etc I may have done the same two years ago I was raised in a catholic house went to catholic school attended pro life marches as a teen. I know all that side I just really wanted to hear the other side. The pro choice side and women who had an abortion and don't regret it that is the side I haven't been shown. So thank you to everyone who replied. It is never easy but I almost instantly gravitated to this choice
    I want to apologize you are not getting the kind of help you asked for in the majority, even if this was what you expected. I can only imagine how hard this is for you, and all I hope for you is to do what's right for you, not only in terms of the physical aspect.

    I've been raised Catholic, but don't call myself a true Catholic because I do not practice regularly and am naturally a skeptic. Many groups have their own interpretation, but I've been taught to not judge others or He will judge you even more so for passing undeserved judgement. While I don't want to make this a religious discussion, it is nearly unavoidable.

    You should not feel bad for choosing abortion. If it is what you and your husband feel is best, then proceed as you wish. You should not feel pursuaded by what others think. You know the pro-life side already. You know your options. You have the choice and no one should influence that. If you know you cannot afford an additional child, then it is not wise to proceed with another. If any of your children's basic needs are compromised by your financial situation, then you could risk losing them. Children are expensive, and sometimes cutting expenses or taking on another job doesn't work out.

    If you decide to terminate, you will have less complications than if you would carry to term. While all procedures have the chance of complications, even a small chance, abortions are very safe. You are early enough in order to take a pill and abort. Everyone varies, but you will basically pass out a clot, there will be more blood than your period, although you will be safe. Talk to a doctor about it. I don't want to pressure you, but time is of the essence. Your options dwindle as you wait. I would at least make an appointment this week.

    I say all of this because you want an abortion and ask about it. If you had asked what your options were instead, then this would be a very different conversation, but you did not.
    Last edited by yatsue; 07-30-2018 at 07:20 PM.

  3. #23
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    Originally Posted by Lalaxoxo
    Yatsue than u for Ur kind words. I am in Canada not sure if we have planned parenthood I was just looking at a women's center. I have watched documentaries and I am afraid of being shamed because I know it would work even if I saw protestors. I would want to run out. I hope that is not my experience.
    I'm Canadian and yes we have Planned Parenthood. I went to them when I was 23 and pregnant and wanted an abortion. They pointed me in the right direction and I had the abortion. You dont sound anywhere near ready for another child and you should not have one if that's how you feel. What anyone else thinks is irrelevant. Start with your doctor and see what they say. Abortions are safe and legal in Canada.

  4. #24
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    I'd like to give you these links:

    [Register to see the link]

    [Register to see the link]

    While it is in reference to the states, it could be useful in the sense of the acceptance of a choice, others' experiences, awareness about hidden agendas (in politics, religious groups, and crisis pregnancy centers-also present in Canada), information about abortion procedures, and how to sift through getting the kind of help you are asking for in regards to legalized abortion.
    Last edited by yatsue; 07-30-2018 at 08:34 PM.

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  7. #26
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    I havenít lived through this myself, but know several women, my age (30s) and my motherís age (60s), who have had abortions and not regretted it. Some have gone on to have children too. One often hears stories of regret about abortion; for many women it has been the right decision and they live with no regrets. Google ďIím not sorry abortionĒ and you will find many websites dedicated to stories of abortion that were the right choice for those women.

    I donít think any of us here can say how you will feel in one month or one year or 10 years. All you can do is make the best decision you can now with your feelings and the information available to you. Remember you donít have to justify your decision to anyone as long as you and your boyfriend feel itís the right one.

  8. #27
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    Originally Posted by abitbroken
    I had many hand me downs. My parents were not married when my mom got pregnant -- my dad worked 2 jobs so mom could stay home with me. They did marry and had my siblings as well. So close in age - they will occupy eachother very well as they get older.
    Piggybacking.

    My parents were living with my momís father (an alcoholic while later committed suicide) when they had me. Mom worked minimum wage as a bank teller as my father was both a volunteer firefighter and in the fire academy (work and school full time). They were dirt poor and could not afford housing until I was 7 years old. Their financial situation changed a decade later as my mom got promoted to work in the federal government and my father retired after being a fire captain for several years and made a six figure salary (and his pension is ridiculous).

    Your situation may suck now OP, but this doesnít mean it will be permanent.

    You will have to do whatever soul-searching you need to do to make an informed decision.

    This is one instance where I would advise against therapy, religious counseling, friends, family, and message boards.

    Make this decision with yourself and the father.
    I donít entirely agree with this. Obviously the OP is very involved in her faith and is trying to balance a decision that is very ethical. I think it does help to get every perspective of this issue to make a very informed decision. And because she is a devoted Catholic and was involved in pro-life advocacy, abortion should be her very last resort. She will carry guilt and emotional trauma after the procedure... some women do.

    There are multiple pregnancy centers out there that could help her situation (even with financial), some of which are organized by local Catholic Churches/Archdioceses. And I have to agree with abitbroken that her second pregnancy CAN be very different that itís too soon to throw in the towel.

    Whatever she decides, she will get through this. Nobody ever said pregnancy is easy (and those who say otherwise are liars).

    I do agree with whatever she decides should also include her boyfriend. She should not feel that she has to make this decision alone and without knowing what supports are available.

  9. #28
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    Originally Posted by Amalia13
    Actually it probably doesn't cost much more to feed another mouth. And the clothing they can share. I know that when the kids are a bit older, it's easier on you when they have siblings to keep them busy. Maybe you can talk to a doctor about your fears of having another difficult pregnancy. Of course you have the choice, but you want to act for the right reasons so that you won't have regrets.
    I disagree about the expense and of course some children have special needs and can't be kept busy by siblings, etc so it's a hope for the best expect the worst. I completely agree that hand me downs are preferred -even if money is no object - I never understood why anyone would insist on everything new when the children grow so fast. We had hand me downs other than those that weren't safe to get -meaning crib/car seat in many cases might not be up to safety standards, expired etc. We could have bought everything new and people sent us so many hand me down everything because we had a child later in life. So awesome to have all those things (well except maybe the underwear that had other children's names scrawled inside lol). He is 9 and we still love hand me downs.

    OP - think about who would be most supportive - and to me those would be people who know you, care for you and at least one or two who also can be more "objective" -in quotes because, well, this is an incredibly personal decision. If you do have a religious figure you trust, go to that person. I consulted religious advisors not about pregnancy but about very personal decisions having to do with deaths in my family and some of those people also have psychology or social work degrees. Very helpful.

    I also would reevaluate as to adoption if you possibly can, as an alternative. I am pro choice but not for myself - I personally would have had an abortion only maybe if life/death or if the baby had a fatal/terminal defect. Maybe. I never had to face that situation so I cannot say and won't speculate. I only was pregnant once in my life other than some suspected "chemical" pregnancies.

  10. #29
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    Originally Posted by Lalaxoxo
    Yatsue than u for Ur kind words. I am in Canada not sure if we have planned parenthood I was just looking at a women's center. I have watched documentaries and I am afraid of being shamed because I know it would work even if I saw protestors. I would want to run out. I hope that is not my experience.
    I am Canadian as well. I suggest the first thing you do is go see your GP . Find out how far along you are and how you are doing.
    Hospitals and private clinics perform abortions here in Canada. If you are able to fit in an appointment with a hospital, it is covered. If you go private, there is a cost involved. Since the hospitals are very busy, there is a possibility you would not be able to get an appointment in time through that route.
    So as far as options go, it's important to act as quickly as possible.
    Prior to an appointment being booked, they will have you speak to someone who will present you with all the options. They will explain the procedure so you understand what is involved. Then there is a waiting period for you to think and decide.
    There are support groups and individual therapy made available, at no cost.

    I have not been through the experience myself. I've been there for a friend. She felt she could not turn to her family, so I was with her the steps along the way.

    Sending you so much love. Whatever you decide.

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