Bad work feedback

I just got an email from my boss, who I guess is on my side and trying to help me keep my job (we meet and discuss tomorrow)

The feedback is '1a1a has had repeated problems with other departments and offers no solutions when things go wrong, sometimes without speaking at all.'

It's so far removed from my own perception of how I handle the job. I butt heads with security And bar staff over volume because our noise limit is impossible low, but this sites multiple problems and a blank refusal from me to fix them, not speaking at all?!! This is so out of character for me.

This came up in reference to another tech who worked sat and really impressed them, they said he thrives in the unusual work environment where myself and the other crew seem to mentally switch off. I can imagine being agreeable and giving everything his best go....have I gotten too familiar? Is sexism at play? I'm scared I won't be able to comply and I'll lose this job, and I'll keep losing jobs because I don't know how to leave my ego at the door. How do I leave my ego at the door? Can anyone recommend resources to learn to say yes more? It's not enough for me to know that on an intellectual level, when I'm under pressure I default to my true nature...

How do I comply when I don't know what other problems they refer to besides volume (I've emailed my boss to ask for one or two examples).

It used to be me getting the good feedback for being helpful and calm under pressure. It's really distressing to learn I'm perceived as the opposite

The feedback is '1a1a has had repeated problems with other departments and offers no solutions when things go wrong, sometimes without speaking at all.'

 

It's so far removed from my own perception of how I handle the job. I butt heads with security And bar staff over volume because our noise limit is impossible low, but this sites multiple problems and a blank refusal from me to fix them, not speaking at all?!! This is so out of character for me.

I suppose I should ask, is it true? Being out of character and being untrue are two different things.

This came up in reference to another tech who worked sat and really impressed them, they said he thrives in the unusual work environment where myself and the other crew seem to mentally switch off. I can imagine being agreeable and giving everything his best go....have I gotten too familiar? Is sexism at play? I'm scared I won't be able to comply and I'll lose this job, and I'll keep losing jobs because I don't know how to leave my ego at the door. How do I leave my ego at the door? Can anyone recommend resources to learn to say yes more? It's not enough for me to know that on an intellectual level, when I'm under pressure I default to my true nature...

What does this mean, exactly? What is your true nature?

I am also a little unclear, what type of work do you do?

Ouch!

If this is the first time you've ever received negative feedback, and as far as you're aware you're not doing anything different, then look around and see if there are any obvious changes to your working environment. Do you have a new manager/senior manager who's anxious to prove their worth and has no idea of what the job really entails, for example? I had a manager a few years back, who in my 30+ years of being in the workplace was the worst nightmare I've ever come across... she used to issue complaints about things which absolutely blindsided me, and I felt somewhat better when I realised that she treated all the staff like this. Luckily I had age and experience on my side and didn't take it personally.

However... how to deal. Firstly, let your boss know that you are anxious to do well, are feeling concerned that there's been this negative feedback and ask for specific examples (which it sounds as though you are, anyway). Ask your boss what the best way to deal with them would be; you can't really comply with anything if you don't know what's being asked of you, but whatever you do, don't appear defensive. Ask in a way which appears positive and keen to learn. If you're clearly asked to do something that's impossible, ask for their advice on how to deal with the immovable object - but do so in a way which appears respectful and keen to learn. (You may have to swallow very hard whilst doing this, but it'll help your cause!). It's better to do this face to face if you can, rather than via email, because you can convey your respect etc etc by body language and tone of voice in a way which may not be apparent by email.

Good luck!

I suppose I should ask, is it true? Being out of character and being untrue are two different things.

All I can think of is when bar staff ask me what the schedule is and I shrug and say I don't know (or maybe I just shrug and that counts as non verbal), or when they ask me to reduce the volume maybe I've made an "it's out of my hands' motion at some point. Not replying at all is out of character as I'm typically opinionated and talkative. Actual examples from the boss would help so much but I don't know that I'll get them.

What does this mean, exactly? What is your true nature?

 

I am also a little unclear, what type of work do you do?

I tend to give people honest answers rather than the ones they want to hear. I'm a sound tech by trade, in this job context if they're asking me to make the band quieter and the band is all stage sound and already too loud at that my knee jerk reaction is to say I can't (I am sure this has gotten me in trouble, no one wants to hear that). I should be saying yes I'll see what I can do but I don't default to that because really there is little I can do...

Ouch!

 

If this is the first time you've ever received negative feedback, and as far as you're aware you're not doing anything different, then look around and see if there are any obvious changes to your working environment. Do you have a new manager/senior manager who's anxious to prove their worth and has no idea of what the job really entails, for example? I had a manager a few years back, who in my 30+ years of being in the workplace was the worst nightmare I've ever come across... she used to issue complaints about things which absolutely blindsided me, and I felt somewhat better when I realised that she treated all the staff like this. Luckily I had age and experience on my side and didn't take it personally.

 

However... how to deal. Firstly, let your boss know that you are anxious to do well, are feeling concerned that there's been this negative feedback and ask for specific examples (which it sounds as though you are, anyway). Ask your boss what the best way to deal with them would be; you can't really comply with anything if you don't know what's being asked of you, but whatever you do, don't appear defensive. Ask in a way which appears positive and keen to learn. If you're clearly asked to do something that's impossible, ask for their advice on how to deal with the immovable object - but do so in a way which appears respectful and keen to learn. (You may have to swallow very hard whilst doing this, but it'll help your cause!). It's better to do this face to face if you can, rather than via email, because you can convey your respect etc etc by body language and tone of voice in a way which may not be apparent by email.

 

Good luck!

It's more that as a freelancer I've had a myriad of bosses over the years. So this is a different working environment to the ones where I have fitted in well without having to change anything about me.

Thank you, this is good advice.

All I can think of is when bar staff ask me what the schedule is and I shrug and say I don't know (or maybe I just shrug and that counts as non verbal), or when they ask me to reduce the volume maybe I've made an "it's out of my hands' motion at some point. Not replying at all is out of character as I'm typically opinionated and talkative. Actual examples from the boss would help so much but I don't know that I'll get them.

 

 

 

 

I tend to give people honest answers rather than the ones they want to hear. I'm a sound tech by trade, in this job context if they're asking me to make the band quieter and the band is all stage sound and already too loud at that my knee jerk reaction is to say I can't (I am sure this has gotten me in trouble, no one wants to hear that). I should be saying yes I'll see what I can do but I don't default to that because really there is little I can do...

If you are not in control of the volume, you smile and say "Gosh, it IS loud. Can I find you a seat farther away from the speaker?" And if they persist "You know, its the X person that controls the sound. I can't change it, but i can give them feedback for next time" Both your reaction and the reaction i mentioned BOTH convey that you can't control the sound. But who sounds like they have more empathy?

All I can think of is when bar staff ask me what the schedule is and I shrug and say I don't know (or maybe I just shrug and that counts as non verbal), or when they ask me to reduce the volume maybe I've made an "it's out of my hands' motion at some point. Not replying at all is out of character as I'm typically opinionated and talkative. Actual examples from the boss would help so much but I don't know that I'll get them.

"i don't know what the schedule is. Joe usually posts it in the backroom. I'll go check." or "if you are looking for it, I think I saw Joe post it in the back"

If you are not in control of the volume, you smile and say "Gosh, it IS loud. Can I find you a seat farther away from the speaker?" And if they persist "You know, its the X person that controls the sound. I can't change it, but i can give them feedback for next time" Both your reaction and the reaction i mentioned BOTH convey that you can't control the sound. But who sounds like they have more empathy?

You can ask whoever controls the volume to speak to the people who've complained about it.

All I can think of is when bar staff ask me what the schedule is and I shrug and say I don't know (or maybe I just shrug and that counts as non verbal), or when they ask me to reduce the volume maybe I've made an "it's out of my hands' motion at some point.

If this is your example of your typical responses I can see where you might be getting into trouble. These two responses appear to be dismissive.

As a practice I make every attempt to not say no or give a negative response.

Even if it's something that is out of my control or not in my scope of work. (and I train my employees to do the same)

There are several good responses for situations like these:

I am not sure, but can I find out and get back to you?

I'd be happy to let 'So n so' and they can help you?

`Let me find out'

I get that there are often times that things are out of your control and as unfair as it might seem, you can only get away with a shrug or a no once in a great while. As long as you have balanced that with being proactive and at least attempting to seek a some resolution the majority of the time. That's what makes you a team player and a valuable employee

I do understand where you are coming from. I am basically the complaint dept at my work. I navigate my entire day trying to resolve issues that I have no control over. On a good day, I see it as a challenge. Other days I would very much like to shrug it off or say `I don't know. But I'd lose my job if I didn't at least try to fake the fact that I don't always have the answer to just about everything.