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Whenever Im attracted to someone, i always think it is mutual.


Dadadaisy123

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Im always lying to myself that people i like like me back, and i am tired of self deception. How can i learn to realise what is real? My ego is bruised with all the rejection and illusion. Is it possible these people are all out of my league? How can I tell when they are really interested so I can make move?

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Just because someone isn't interested doesn't necessarily make them out of your league. It just means... they aren't interested. Someone who is interested will readily make time to see you, be open to speaking often, and in general, will make their affections obvious. If someone makes frequent excuses for why they can't spend time with you, it's usually an indication that they don't feel the way you do but want to let you down easy.

 

If you have the tendency to think people are attracted to you when they are not, err towards the side of caution. Wait for very clear signals before you ask them out officially. Examples would be looking for excuses to physically touch you and seeking a lot of one on one time in group situations.

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Well, thats the problem... what you said is happening! A LOT of touching. She even put her hand on my leg. And we see each other every week. But this could be because we are friends.. including the touching. Plus, i liked her on tinder and we werent a match :(

 

Ah, you like a friend. I am always telling people to stop trying to backdoor their way into relationships through friendship. Sometimes friendships organically become romantic relationships, but it's the exception, not the rule. Lots of women will touch their male friends a lot and it doesn't mean anything.

 

DanZee is right. Ask her straight out if she is attracted to you, if it means enough to you. Just be aware that rejection is very possible and it may affect your current relationship with her. I personally think genuine friendship is rarely worth messing up, but if you hang around her mostly because you are interested in more, get it out into the open.

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Ah, you like a friend. I am always telling people to stop trying to backdoor their way into relationships through friendship. Sometimes friendships organically become romantic relationships, but it's the exception, not the rule. Lots of women will touch their male friends a lot and it doesn't mean anything.

 

DanZee is right. Ask her straight out if she is attracted to you, if it means enough to you. Just be aware that rejection is very possible and it may affect your current relationship with her. I personally think genuine friendship is rarely worth messing up, but if you hang around her mostly because you are interested in more, get it out into the open.

 

Im a girl too! And im unable to fall in love with tinder dates. I only fall in love with friends.

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Some people are touchy-feely. The best way to know if someone likes you is to ask them out. You'll know instantly. You don't have to wait around for a sign. When I started doing that, things moved along much quicker.

 

I could try... should i ask her out on a date? And make it explicit that it is a date?

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Im always lying to myself that people i like like me back, and i am tired of self deception. How can i learn to realise what is real? My ego is bruised with all the rejection and illusion. Is it possible these people are all out of my league? How can I tell when they are really interested so I can make move?

 

Ah I wish I had good advice for you... The only way I personally know how someone is interested in dating me is if it is blatantly obvious in the way they reach out to me; I don't tend to recognize subtle plays for attention. Maybe that's why I don't date IRL haha

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