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Thread: I did something intimate with my friends brother who is my roommate...Confused

  1. #21
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    Yeah it was strange that he said to me we should move in together. I don't know what possessed him to say that to me.

    He has a really good job doing construction work. Makes really good money. He has no money issues that I know of right now. Like I said in my original post he lives with his sister and me. So the only place to get romantic would be at the house where we live. Maybe he was playing me. But still thinking he was really interested in me. Maybe I am just wishful thinking.

    I get what you are saying about how I should think of it as just a in the moment fling. Going to try and think of it like that.

  2. #22
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    Did you just stare at him and say nothing the past few days??? that would be weird. If you are really interested in him i wouldn't see it as a momentary fling as a defense mechanism. I would just talk to him. Tell him you know he is avoiding you and that it wasn't just sex to you. That if he would like to date you, you will do your best to move out when you can so that you can date him so you aren't living with his sister.

    That's just my take. But if you want to play it off as a fling and ignore him - you can do that too..

  3. #23
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    No I didn't ignore him until after he made that comment about me just being interested in his d*+k . It hurt me alot that he would even think that way. I did sit out in the kitchen last night waiting and hoping he would hear me and come out. Just to even see him. He deliberately waited until I left the kitchen to wind up his windows and set the alarm on his truck so he wouldn't have to see me last night. Ughh

    Also after we did something that night. There were lots of kissing and talking for the next few days afterwards.

    Yes I would love to tell him that I know he's avoiding me and that it meant way more than just sex to me. I want to tell him that I can't stop thinking about him and that I have been in deep like of him for the last 2 months and I get butterflies in my stomach waiting to see him again at the end of the day. I would love to ask him if he wants to date me and yes that I will do my best to move out asap. Missing him like crazy ..

  4. #24
    Bronze Member DissyLu's Avatar
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    This is kind of an all around odd situation

    If you hadn't stated your ages I would've thought you were in your early twenties

    The guy in question sounds sketchy too. He hooked up with you, tells you he wants to move in with you despite having known each other for only a very short time with no dating involved, then negs you, then avoids you...and he's 48??? *yuck*

    I wouldn't pursue anything with this man. He doesn't sound right to me. Either he just wanted a fling or something is very off with him. Either way, this sounds like a no go

    Next time, don't hook up with your roommates. As you can see it creates a mess you have to live with day in and day out.

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  6. #25
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    Yeah it's awkward. I don't know why you can't just talk to him and tell him those things... you know where he is. At best you find out he's just a bit shy - like you are - and that perhaps he's embarrassed about his rude comment. Maybe it's been a while since he has opened up to someone. At worst, you find out he was just playing around and got a big caught up in things. You can then move out or just keep some distance until you are able to move out/move on.

    Additional: Your friend "supports" you. What does that mean? Did she just make joking comments, or does she actually know what's been going on? What advice would she give you?

  7. #26
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    Small update! I decided to be watching for him to come home from work today. So I waited for him to come inside he was actually unloading things into the house from his truck. He looked at me and said hi but with no smile like he usually has when he sees me. I could tell he was nervous and his face was turning bright red. Probably because of the way he behaved with me and the whole comment thing. So I was just as nervous but so happy to see him and really upset at the same time . I told him I missed him the last 3 days like a dummy. He seemed really surprised Ughh. I asked him if we could talk tonight He told me yes. His son is spending the night at his ex wifes house so he told me that he would be right back after he dropped his son off. His son actually has only 1 more week staying at our house. Then he will be back at his moms for the school year. Beside the point anyway. So tonight we will be alone. His sister works graveyard so she won't be home . I'm scared and nervous right now. Now hopefully we can really talk. Not sure if he wants to do some sexually that I should??? But he was giving me that look before he left the same one he gave me the night we did something that is telling me he might want to again. Jumping the gun again I guess?? Any advice about tonight would be appreciated. I think he still thinks I want him just for his d**ck ughh. Just really nervous about opening up and telling him all the feelings I have for him

  8. #27
    Super Moderator HeartGoesOn's Avatar
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    I could be off base, but once you cross that line by involving yourself with a roommate, it changes the dynamics of the living arrangement, (imo). If this situation goes south, it's likely to create an awkward atmosphere.

    In short, I'd proceed with caution, as this may not go in the direction you're hoping for.

  9. #28
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    I know it does change things because I did something already with him. And then he made that making me feel like sh*t comment the other day. Yes I'm actually starting to rethink everything right now. But I was getting feelings before anything happened between us. I will hold my chin up no matter what at least I hope so..

  10. #29
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    You donn't have to tell him ALL the feelings. Just enough that it's clear what EXACTLY you are looking for, and to verify whether or not he is looking for the same.

  11. #30
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    I'm so afraid that he is going to reject me after I share what I'm feeling and that I want to date him.

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