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Yo. So I've just come back from a summer exchange in Japan and when I was over there I met an absolutely incredible lad who i hit it off with from day. Long and short we immediately became inseparable and despite the fact it took us a couple of weeks before anything happened. He basically became my best friend over there and I fell head over heels for him, only problem being he came from a south-eastern US state and I from the UK.

 

For the month or so we were together, he basically moved into mine and we were like any (albeit a super committed and fast moving) couple. Unfortunately we've both got another 2 years at university so there's no way we can be together for now so have been forced to be LDR. I always thought people were insane for doing it but he's so amazing I'm happy (or as close as one can be when very not happy) to wait some time before we can be together properly.

 

We're planning on meeting at his in a few months but as we're both students and flights being £800 even this far in advance, we won't be seeing an awful lot of each other.

 

Thing is we've only been gone a couple of days and I'm already missing him like hell which is fine and expected but it's exceptionally weird/ hard not having him near me as I've always done. I just wanted to know what people did to survive this? Both of us have only ever had relationships with friends and dates with people we know so we're both somewhat nervous.

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Yeah, well, you outlined the major problem - you're not physically with the person and even chatting and Skyping are poor substitutes. And you wind up putting your personal life on hold while you're waiting to get back with the other person. Plus, you're still in the honeymoon phase where everything is wonderful, the birds are chirping, etc. You won't have the chance to find out what your LD boyfriend is really like until you get together again. And probably the biggest problem with LDR is that one partner finds somebody else and has to do the breakup over the Internet.

 

So I guess I'm probably trying to talk you out of an LDR. But I'm sure you'll try it for a while and see what happens. But based on the posts here at ENA, LDRs have a dismal chance at success.

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I don't know if you've thought of the fact that if the two of you get married, one of you will be uprooted from all of your friends and family, and visiting them is highly expensive as you know. In the meantime, the human brain doesn't fully form until age 25. What one wants in their late teens to early twenties could do a 360 as to what one wants in the late twenties.

 

You can find people with whom you have chemistry with anywhere you land in the world. I went to France for a month with a school group and had flirtations with a guy who was in a similar group from Greece, and a guy who lived in the university dormitory where we stayed at one point. He was from Mauritius. I stayed in contact with both for a brief period when I returned to the U.S, but of course people get back to their social lives with local people and the foreign dalliance becomes a sweet memory.

 

Either let this become a sweet memory, or take a day by day attitude and see how it pans out if you've considered who will be doing the sacrificing if the relationship becomes serious. You will have both just graduated from college, and it's tough enough to get a great job with a degree nowadays, depending. How would that translate when trying to get a job in another country? Plus, in the U.S., with the 90 day visa, a person has to sign an affidavit that they will be financially responsible for spouse for 10 years, and if they don't have a good salary, another family member has to be asked to sign it. If a relative isn't willing to do that, the visa won't be given.

 

You're making a decision here that is rife with hurdles. And if you're visiting the U.S., I'd have him pay half the cost because this is a risky relationship at this point, and the costs should be split with each visit. Watch 90 day fiance on The Learning Channel for a reality check. My suggestion also is to stick to local dating. You will meet hundreds of guys your age during the next few years at college. Surely at least one of them will strike your interest. Take care.

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