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Thread: How should I handle this situation with shy guy I like?

  1. #21
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Posts
    49,516
    Originally Posted by Decemberbrid
    The relevance is that it is very relaxed and casual between them and I see the kind of relationship that they have. You haven't seen anything and frankly, your "devil's advocate" role is not helping anymore. Thank you for your contribution of "it's just lunch" , but it seems a little insensitive. It was just a "ride in the elevator" and he almost freaked out. I have valid concerns about coming across too forward yet. I know where you stand, thank you.
    You misunderstand. I mean that if you ask him to get lunch, it's just lunch -it's no big deal. If it's that big a deal to him that he says no and runs away than either he is not available to date or not interested in dating you -either way you'll know. I don't think I'm playing devil's advocate at all. I think you're reading far too much into this situation and making a ton of assumptions about why he's not asking you out, all of which will make it much harder for you to suggest lunch and get your answer. If he almost freaks out by a ride in the elevator then most likely he is not available to date or date you. Asking him to get lunch will resolve it once and for all. Or, you can do nothing and decide it's not worth it. No biggie either way. I married a very shy guy who worked in my company but on a different floor and in a different department. We met and spoke three times at company events and 9 months after we first met he got up the courage to ask me to lunch. If he hadn't we most likely would not be together now, married and with an awesome child. That is why I'm a fan of you asking him to get lunch to see if there is any potential in the future to go on a real date.

    I don't care how casual his office is. It's an office. It's his job and you don't work there. You're an outsider. No matter how personal they are with each other he is still an employee there -he's not going there to hang out and shoot the breeze. It's how he makes his money and that might affect whether he's willing to date someone he has to see in the building regularly even if you are at a different company.

    Just wanted to clarify -good luck!

  2. #22
    Member
    Join Date
    Feb 2019
    Posts
    9
    I think You should just approach him like a friend. Try to be friendly and open, don't make him in that situation he feel awkward. After doing this, if you still feels he's really shy, you need to approached him through one of his close friends.

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