For once I'm in a good place dating someone who is healthy for me

I met him around my birthday off of Bumble. He is very kind, great sense of humor and wonderful personality. We've seen each other quite a bit. I met his family tonight at a birthday event I was invited too. Everything feels so natural and I'm genuinely happy.

I've dated lots of wrong guys before as you all know! Heck was even in a relationship with one for a decade three years ago. I always had poor judgement when it came to guys not because I picked the bad guys on purpose. It just was me never having good self esteem or self confidence that I latched onto whomever.

I took a break for several months and focused on what it is I really need and my own personal wants.

My big thing is getting healthy and losing weight. It still is, the funny thing though is I'm doing that subconsciously. I'm making healthier choices and working out. I thought I needed to lose all the excess weight before I found a guy to date.

But on Bumble I signed up not expecting much but still wanting to leave it open to finding someone regardless. I learned with the last guy I dated that being overweight or thin the guy has to want me and accept me for me!

I swiped right on this guys profile and sent him a quick hello. Then it took off from there.

I feel in my gut I've found a good guy.

Everything comes natural and he embraces me. He doesn't mind I don't drive or other 'setbacks' he's truly given me a chance because he likes me. I can tell him all the good and bad with my mental illness and he won't run off or judge.

If you remember the last thread about how it ended with that guy who wouldn't sleep with me because of my weight?

This guy finds me attractive and isn't trying to change me, he wants to be intimate.

He just makes me really happy!

sorry I'm rambling..I don't have any questions or seeking advice. I just wanted to share.

That's great! I'm glad to hear it :)

Congrats! Love to see success stories

Nice to hear! :)

So nice to hear this.

Taking a step back before moving forward again really has its benefits!

Nice to hear that you're enjoying each other so far and that you feel inspired to make healthy choices otherwise!

So glad to hear!

Super exciting that he's accepting of your condition. Many people are judgmental about mental illnesses which is so disappointing in today's world. According to NAMI, 1 in 4 people in America has a mental illness. We all should be accepting of each other.

Enjoy your next date!

Happy for you! :)

Oh wow, so good to hear someone is doing well. I just read on another forum about some guy using online dating to get over an ex. He just wanted to use people to feel better, it's me, me, me. So disturbing to read, like looking into the mind of a sociopath. You lucked out with a normal person!

'..I feel in my gut I've found a good guy.'

OP I don't mean to rain on your parade but may I ask, how long have you two been dating?

For you to really truly know that he is a good guy you'd need about a solid year of dating and a year of living together, without major issues.

For now, I'd just see this as a 'let's get to know him and see'. I wish you all the best.

Just my personal opinion - I think 6 months of regular dating is enough to know whether there is long term potential. I don’t think living together before marriage has to be part of getting to know the person. Had I lived with my husband before marriage I wouldn’t have learned much of anything relevant because we became parents shortly after being married. They situation has almost nothing to do with living together as a couple especially in a small apartment. It all went fine considering but I have no regrets about waiting till almost marriage to officially live together.

'..I feel in my gut I've found a good guy.'

 

OP I don't mean to rain on your parade but may I ask, how long have you two been dating?

 

For you to really truly know that he is a good guy you'd need about a solid year of dating and a year of living together, without major issues.

 

For now, I'd just see this as a 'let's get to know him and see'. I wish you all the best.

This is true too

Don't put the cart before the horse OP

I've been shockingly disappointed by guys I've dated

Take it slow but enjoy it too!

^ yeah my ex seemed like a really great guy, but after I decided to end things, he showed another side to him. And this was someone I saw pretty much every other day for 4 months. I really think it takes a year to start getting a good feel of the person most of the time.

Thank you each one of you for your responses. :-)

Oh my gosh, I'm so happy for you!

How long have you been dating? How did you meet? Curious minds & all that.

Oh my gosh, I'm so happy for you!

 

 

How long have you been dating? How did you meet? Curious minds & all that.

Awe thank you

I met him on Bumble I saw his profile and thought he looked interesting and swiped right matching up with him. I sent him a message and it took off from there. We talked for a little over a week before meeting on my 36th Birthday July 7th. We have been dating ever since then. We met at a fun place Dave and Busters.

He lives 45 minutes away but has family closer to me so he drives out my way often. This weekend is the first weekend I’m spending with him at his condo.

You've known him 20 days and already are staying a weekend at his place?

Seems a bit quick. Please use caution.

Awe thank you

I met him on Bumble I saw his profile and thought he looked interesting and swiped right matching up with him. I sent him a message and it took off from there. We talked for a little over a week before meeting on my 36th Birthday July 7th. We have been dating ever since then. We met at a fun place Dave and Busters.

He lives 45 minutes away but has family closer to me so he drives out my way often. This weekend is the first weekend I’m spending with him at his condo.

"Ever since" - so, how about head in the clouds plus feet on the ground? As one of my friends commented almost 20 years ago (she met her husband on a dating site -good friend of mine -they've been married 17 years) - until two months it means nothing (meaning any thought of long term potential) - her personal barometer was more like 6 months. She and my friend were engaged within a year, married three months after that. They were in their early 30s. Hope you two continue to have fun!

Awe thank you

I met him on Bumble I saw his profile and thought he looked interesting and swiped right matching up with him. I sent him a message and it took off from there. We talked for a little over a week before meeting on my 36th Birthday July 7th. We have been dating ever since then. We met at a fun place Dave and Busters.

He lives 45 minutes away but has family closer to me so he drives out my way often. This weekend is the first weekend I’m spending with him at his condo.

Good for you! It takes courage to make the first move. He sounds like a good guy so far!

Keep your head about you (I know you will) and enjoy the process of getting to each other.

Thank you for the lovely responses! :-)

I'm enjoying and being careful with the process of getting to know him. I would agree I won't know until six months to a year. That's how long it took to realize the last guy wasn't right for me was at six months.

In the meantime it's nice having someone to have fun with! If anything progresses later then that's nice too. I'm just taking it step by step. With all my heart has been through that's all I can do!

Thank you for the lovely responses! :-)

 

I'm enjoying and being careful with the process of getting to know him. I would agree I won't know until six months to a year. That's how long it took to realize the last guy wasn't right for me was at six months.

 

In the meantime it's nice having someone to have fun with! If anything progresses later then that's nice too. I'm just taking it step by step. With all my heart has been through that's all I can do!

I get it Lim.

I completely agree with others to stay grounded but I also understand that excitement and wanting to share it, that feeling you get when it's a good match. I went on a third date last night and I've had a smile on my face all morning so I'm on the cloud floating right next to you, haha.

But, again, they're right, best to just enjoy it for what it is at the moment.

Again, I'm happy for you.

'We talked for a little over a week before meeting on my 36th Birthday July 7th. We have been dating ever since then'

OP so.. it's been a total of 3 weeks. You barely know him and you cannot possibly know if he is a good guy or not, if this will go anywhere or not.. all you can do at this stage is date him and see what happens. At the age of 36 you should know not to get over-excited about a couple of week's worth of good dates. I wish you all the best.

'We talked for a little over a week before meeting on my 36th Birthday July 7th. We have been dating ever since then'

 

OP so.. it's been a total of 3 weeks. You barely know him and you cannot possibly know if he is a good guy or not, if this will go anywhere or not.. all you can do at this stage is date him and see what happens. At the age of 36 you should know not to get over-excited about a couple of week's worth of good dates. I wish you all the best.

When I was her age and also when I was 16 I preferred head in the clouds and feet on the ground - it can be done and then you get to enjoy the excitement too. It's not like she's moving in with him or sharing her limited edition pint of ice cream with him.

When I was her age and also when I was 16 I preferred head in the clouds and feet on the ground - it can be done and then you get to enjoy the excitement too. It's not like she's moving in with him or sharing her limited edition pint of ice cream with him.

I agree with this. OP is excited to have met someone and it’s so nice to read about positive, happy threads on here.

Provided OP is proceeding with eyes wide open and not rushing into anything (and it sounds like she’s keeping an eye out) it seems like OP is just enjoying the excitement and flutters that come with meeting someone of interest.

I like the words that Batya used to describe it - “head in the clouds and feet on the ground”.

Enjoy yourself Limichelle, and also make sure to look after/out for yourself. :)